Depressed, repressed, objectified: are men the new women?

there is something wrong with society. It wasn't enough to make women feel ugly and fat.

It's the phyto-estrogen in all the damn PLASTIC that we use. Look around you.
There is a proven link to the outgassing from certain plastics and reproductive issues.

this is funny, but the entire concept seems a bit sexist, painting women as depressed and marginalized victims. no one can define gender correctly when our outlook is still tainted by ridiculous outdated views.

I feel oppressed by the materialistic nature of our society. If you have everything, how can you be sure you are being wanted for you and not the money? If you don't have everything, how can you ever find out?

Our society promotes money and sex over respect and relationships too much and the effects are starting to show I guess.

Although, once again, I don't think it is accurate to make broad stereotypes based on gender alone.

EVERYONE and EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE is different, but in general, I think our society's departure from Christian values towards materialistic ideals and the oversexualization of women to that end has made the world a much more difficult and confusing place in which to live.

I would say the most obvious suspects are the media, music (especially hip-hop), and advertising's portrayal of things, since that effectively, and intentionally, guides human thought, belief, and behavior patterns and then consequently screwed up male/female interaction.

Also, I take serious offense to all women who say "You deserve it, that is what you put us through guys."

Fuck you.

Not all guys are like that and saying that all men are bad men just because a few select bad men have fucked up your lives is completely wrong. There are two sides to the coin. I've run into some pretty bad, pathological lying types of women in my lifetime and the experiences dealing with their twisted behavior was damn near traumatic, but I never assume that all women are like that. I've also met some women that are exceptionally wonderful human beings.

So although there maybe be stereotypes like "all women like pink", I try to avoid judging anyone except by their individual behavior.

I certainly think that in urban environments values are more screwed up. But, I'm just speaking from first hand experience. It could just be coincidence.

Sure, over time you learn to trust people less and less and keep your defenses up, but piling everyone together is just sexist.

I'm not a person that is easily influenced by anyone, but if I were, the crap displayed on t.v. would certainly be confusing. Why are women like Paris Hilton looked up to? Why is hip-hop music's (not all hip-hop music mind you, just the sexual crap) depiction of women as worthless bitches and hoes so popular even with kids and in the mainstream?

While I'm ranting...

What's up with all the gay pride crap? Congratulations on being gay. I don't give a damn, and I don't really want to know about it. Why did you equate the rainbow to your man-on-man anal sex lifestyle and then hang a flag up announcing it to anyone that has to walk by? Is it fair or right to take something as universally beautiful as the rainbow and associate it with man-on-man action? That is kinda fucked up. That certainly can't be helping the psychological well-being of men in general.

What's next, are swingers going to adopt the cross as their symbol and use it to blatantly undermine the Judeo-Christian values on which this country was built?

I saw these things growing up in Texas, but it seems unfair that living in Southern California comes with so many psychological annoyances.

This is obviously just a random sampling of some of the specific observations I would say might be adding to a decline in men's well-being in general.

Of course, these are just the worst points I'm mentioning from a life otherwise filled with positive experiences and relationships. In the long run, I'm sure men will be just fine.

Studies like this are interesting inasmuch as they can often draw ibiased conclusions when analyzing data. For example, the study indicates that 40% more men are seeking counseling for impotence. Is this a real increase in male impotence or are men more comfortable admiting it to themselves and seeking help. Looking at it this way, one might draw the conclusion that men are more emotionally secure than in the past and not afraid to seek help.

As far as men using makeup and getting plastic surgery, what is the point? Women have used makeup and gotten plastic surgery for years. To say this is a traditionally female occupation implies that women are superficial and foolish. If this is not the implication then what is the big deal that men are doing the same thing?? A bit of advice. When reading "studies" like this it is generally wiser to examine the researchers than their research.

It shouldn't be surprising that the push for gender equality is leading to an identity crisis for men. While women have been pushing to redefine themselves, the role of men in society is being redefined for us. Popular culture is filled with archetypes of feckless men (Homer Simpson) and deadbeat dads. We really need some positive role models that show what a modern man looks like (but who?).

Look, I'm not saying that men aren't getting a fair shake-- just look at the perpetual wage gap and lack of women in positions of power. Proportionally, there's more women in the Iraqi parliament than in the U.S. Congress.

But while women are our equals, I'm still expected to hold the door open for a lady-- what's with that? Where are MY flowers? Equal rights means equal responsibilities, ladies. Let's split the check.

Just pointing out that there seems to be an awful lot of bitter or zero-tolerance responses from many of the female users here.

I can see how it might be difficult for males to discuss stresses or attempt to evolve into a different a type of societal role when faced with this near bitter refusal to accept that men might not live up to the impervious heroes media says we should be.

Yeah, when you frame it in the context of shopping for face cream, this idea does cheapen, but in the larger view I believe it speaks more to a sex not knowing how to act when what is expected of them is two contradictory ideas.

Cry me a river, build me a bridge...and freaking jump off of it!! Seriously? This is an issue that has been going on with women for years. Why is it, that when a man gets the same treatment, it's news??? This is some BS i can't even begin to describe.

tsk what a buncha feminist BULLshit. good thing about being a man, "Ladies," we generally don't want or need to step on femininity to be one, unlike some self-evident biotches who carry that title quite deservingly.

"There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him
You can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him
When he's down yeah
But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you
I'm standing on my own two feet
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat, Yeah
...Another one bites the dust..."

and for those of you who may need to hear it, don't EVEN let this veiled feminist CRAP mentally castrate you men. No matter what life throws at you, keep your heads up and focus positively on MAKING it. A lot of these women today are just like dogs nipping the heels from behind, wanting to trip you up. Phukem. We're not perfect, nor do we necessarily have to be, and we CAN definitely do what we need to, even with theses biotches casting doubts like rice celebrating their own lesbian weddings...

Some are upset because they know that men don't need women and women don't need men to survive. They only need each other to procreate and then can go on with their separate lives. But since some are so insecure of their masculinity, they need to feel superior over women, poor guys, classic example of the depressed male, that they would need to step over others to gain their self-worth. Luckily I am a man that wants women to be as liberated as possible, because I am not intimidated by them and they are more fun anyways, unlike Petarro.

Evolution has always assumed the masculine to be dominant, however in Nature this is not universal, and perhaps a new gender balance is overdue. Matriarchal society will still differ from the animalistic however - in general, we will still not eat our males after mating.

These gender debates are as boring and one dimensional and the people who can't shut up about them.

People who can't relate to the opposite sex and insist upon alienating them beyond all reason should shut up and see a therapist before they die alone.

I'm what some might call a "metrosexual", which to me is an asshole label for a man who digs women and likes to be expressive. It's the new way of saying a guy is "artsy".

Anyway, I went thru most of my 20s with a pretty tame sexual appetite. I was in several longterm relationships since high school, but never really reached anything I would call a "peak" in terms of desire. I met my wife when I was 24 and we've been together 6 years. Well, in the last year everything changed. I suddenly feel like what 18 year olds are purported to be like, and it's so much better to have that occur when you've got a decent head on your shoulders and a good woman by your side.

Yes I think a lot of men now are a mess. And it puts a bigger burden on women. Suck it up dudes.. now you understand the sh*t you have put us through!

lol @ the title alone

This is one of the Worst Posts I have ever seen. And the only men that fall into this "Post" are the ones that belong there.

Classic, women trying to emasculate Men... Screw the Lesbian who posted this Article.

This is classic in Women trying to speak that they are stronger. While they have great skills and energy in lots of points over Men, they lack of obvious things and the most basic which will forever be: Protection.

every gender, race, society, belief and religion is repressed at some point in time!

mens turn!

Well, seeing as the study was conducted in Europe, it may only apply to Europeans. Or more specifically, in the UK. But I don't deny the results. I wonder if I can obtain a copy of the actually publication of the study.

pressure to be on top getting to ya boys?

....well, at least you don't have the whole "not pushing a human being out of your body" thing to worry about.

Um, hmmm...

Funny, but I hardly refer to myself as depressed, repressed or objectified, and I'm a woman. This hardly seems like a fair set of monikers for us womenfolk. Maybe men are the new men?

Men need to stop whining and grow some balls! Sheesh, stop acting like girls!

On the contrary Mbrierley, take a look at most feminist websites and/or propaganda, and they are sexist within themselves. Feminism used to be about equality, but when faced with subjects such as parental equality they turn into fearfull hate-mongers. For some reason there is an assumption that men are inferior when it comes to raising children. Though I cannot give birth, or breast feed, lets not forget many births are done by c-section at request, and over 90% of our children in America are formula fed. So in reality a majority of feminism is synonymous to sexism in todays world.

What's the opposite of a feminist? A sexist?

Wah wah wah, life is hard. Wah wah wah, I'm confused about who I am. Wah Wah Wah, I feel unattractive.
Aren't these everyone's regular, day to day problems? Is it really so bad? As we see here on Current, things could be a helluva lot worse than feeling fat and being torn between skin creams, male OR female.

I think we're all effing confused. Who the hell are we and what the hell are we doing? Our cultures and technology have taken us so far from what we know how to handle innately that we're lost... Our society has moved faster than we have the capability to keep up with.

As a man, I see the biggest threat to mental health is the family court system. Even though less than 30% of men who owe child support actually default, a single father is seen as a "deadbeat" regardless of circumstances. Not only is this a problem amongst society itself, but within the court infrastructure as well. A mother can interfere with parenting time, default on child support, ignore court orders, even blatantly lie in court!!! Are they punished?? Hardly ever........ There is no accountability for the court employees to the point where one cannot even see what is being said about them. Sexism is a huge problem, but the bigger issue is SS Title IV-D, a federal incentive fund that pays these state employees to tear families apart in an effort to make their own wallets fatter. Lets truly break down obsolete gender roles by teaching our children men can cook, clean, work in the garden as well as teaching them women can renovate a house, work on a car, and fix appliances.

I know as a white guy I have little right to complain of my plight, but I feel invited by such a post, because I can't help feeling that both genders are equally hurt by stereotyping.

I worked in daycare with infants and toddlers for about 8 years and during that time I was passed over for several nannying/babysitting jobs while parents put their trust into younger, less experienced female teachers. Also, several daycares, as policy, do not allow men to change diapers for fear of molestation. Nobody likes changing diapers, but when you're not allowed simply because of your gender it really sucks and makes you a less helpful teacher in younger classrooms.

Men are typically not seen as nurturers and therefore are deprived of quality time with their children. We typically make more money than women (even in the same position), which then puts us in the bread-winner role. That can be a lot of pressure compared to the joy of raising children and it leads men into an earlier grave.

Just venting a bit, I don't mean to seem whiney or unaware of the violence that women face worldwide, just wanted to raise some rarely raised points.

Thank God I am out of the statistics. My concept of myself is doing just fine so my sexual drive. However I fell that many issues like this one can be resolved with proper education and physical interaction. After all, in part it is great women that makes great man.

I think that this is totally true. Men are being repressed by society as a whole.

We are constantly stereotyped as sex crazed, feelingless, drunkards.

The problem is that men really only have to two choices, they are told to fit the male stereotype or they are told to express their feelings like women do.

What needs to be realized is that men aren't women, and we don't want to express like woman do, but then also we don't want to always have to fit into the meat head stereotype.

Really, we just want to be ourselves like everyone else wants to be themselves.

Furthermore, anytime that men express oppression (especially white males) we're just laughed at and told that we don't really have problems b/c we're white and we're male.

LOL half the men on this site are like woman.

BITCH MOAN CRY

I don't know.

The old way of viewing women as pretty little house wives is pretty much dead.

I've also noticed that men are depicted in the media and society as stupid, sex-driven douche bags who don't emote. While there is a lot of truth in that statement, it's not fair to make such a sweeping generalization.

I guess this could be true, but I honestly haven't met any guys like in the above article.

Wouldn't this be an example of the media affecting a persons view of themselves? How is that a gender issue? It doesn't matter what age, era, gender or generation we have always been susceptible to a slick marketing campaign. Let's be more "acceptable" of who we are. Quit letting slick media views affect our perceptions of ourselves and each other.

While living in a whorehouse in the 1940's, Malcolm X noticed a curious "morning rush" of men who stopped by the brothel before work. He speculated, "Domineering, complaining, demanding wives who had just about psychologically castrated their husbands were to blame for the morning rush. These wives were so disagreeable and had made their men so tense that they were robbed of the satisfaction of being men. To escape this tension and the chance of being ridiculed by his own wife, these men had gotten up early and come to a prostitute...
after most men passed their virile twenties, they went to bed mainly to satisfy their egos, and because a lot of women don’t understand it that way, they damage and wreck a man’s ego. No matter how little virility a man has to offer, prostitutes make him feel for a time that he is the greatest man in the world. That’s why these prostitutes had that morning rush of business. More wives could keep their husbands if they realized their greatest urge is to be men.
Most men, the prostitutes felt, were too easy to push around. Every day these prostitutes heard their customers complaining that they never heard anything but griping from women who were being taken care of and given everything. The prostitutes said that most men needed to know what the pimps knew. A woman should occasionally be babied enough to show her the man had affection, but beyond that she should be treated firmly. These tough women said that it worked with them. All women. By their nature, are fragile and weak: they are attracted to the male in whom they see strength."

These may seem like the antiquated views of a bygone generation, but you never saw men in the 60's starving themselves or getting plastic surgery. It's worth noting that however misogynistic Malcolm's views sound, his generation had a far lower divorce rate, too. Maybe it's time we rethink some of the 'reforms' of the last thirty years.

your world - the one which isn't televised or conveyed / informed by any kind of media - is what you make it . learn how to meditate and live with yourself . simple . if you aren't willing to take the risk of getting to know yourself by your own sheer force of will , you deserve to be impotent and miserable , and the "real men" in this world equally deserve to be the objects of your envy .

This isn't about gender, everyone is prone to that kind of depression: we live in a harsh, depressing world. We need to stop labelling depression into nice little cateogries and just try to be a bit nicer to each other.

The most telling part of this report is in the line -

Every week, it seems as if there are new surveys and studies tripping over themselves to paint the grimmest possible picture of modern masculinity.

Written by a woman, for a liberal paper's Sunday supplement. Life's more complex than mere column inches, editorial subtext and journalistic bias allows.

Those are all interesting questions. Of my male friends who will talk about such things, none seem particularly "conflicted" about their identities. No one's worried about their sex drives, and only one man I know cares marginally about his weight.

But, most of the guys I know are under 30, and I'm more interested in hearing a dude's point of view on this one, anyway.