The trouble with sex - Men & Women, Love & Sex

"The Government was so worried by the potential demand that it immediately restricted its availability on the NHS to men with diabetes, multiple sclerosis and other chronic conditions."

As if I needed more reason to hate the FDA!

Good read. I think I learned something new!

"...............hey,................no trouble,..........I'm good".

Amen to this:
“There's no need to focus on the ability of a woman to have clitoral orgasms through penetration when the entire body can be an exquisitely sensitive erogenous zone of excitement, pleasure and orgasm.”

How many times have I wanted to wear a steel bikini and tell a lover, “OK, you can touch everything NOT covered by the bikini!” I can’t tell you how many won’t have a clue how to proceed, as if in their minds a woman consists entirely of the Downtown Tunnel and East and West Breastville.

Sex is not merely genitals colliding (though it can be). But at its best, it’s a meeting of the minds and bodies. AND bodies, I said.

And this, a thousand times!!!:
“Third, I think that a man should ask what the lady wants, and he should be persistent but not pushy about it. If all else fails, the man should pay attention to her physical reactions.”

Do you know how RARE that Is?!?!?!? It’s inexcusable!!! And you can reply “well, why don’t you just TELL him!” all you want – too many times, believe me, that information is not desired. I’ve even had responses like, “At my age, I should know what I’m doing, no need to tell me!” Um, apparently, there is.

Also this:
“...doesn't necessarily help that some guys are almost entirely focused on the physical when it comes to women.”

You want to turn me off to sex? Then just try to make EVERY kiss, EVERY touch, into something initiating sex. The result: I will not want to kiss or touch you, to avoid feeling like a mere sex doll.

There, I feel better now!

The best sex? When everyone is truly THERE. I mean seeing/feeling/reacting/sensing the other, not *only* getting their personal jollies but getting off on the other person getting theirs too....

Ladies,

Please register for my free seminars and demonstrations. LOL Just kidding...

Girl's Observation on the Physical:
No shit.
The clitoris is everything gentlemen.
It's the best part of sex for women.
If you haven't gotten it by now stop using porn as your guide to having sex (that means you too boys 13-infinity).
Please enroll in a cungilingus (female oral) class.

On a less obvious point, Psychologically:
Our society condemns women's sexuality, from the cradle to the grave.
Sure it's not 1634 or anything but a majority of women and girls can tell you they regret their first time. Why?
They didn't know sex came with pleasure, just had it to keep her 15 year old boyfriend from dumping her--stupid yes. Never masturbated, the poor thing.

I digress, you boys are expected to masturbate and think sexually. Girls grow up in a hypocritical way, natural urges are denied and shunned if we have them. So you know that statistic about women being at their sexual peak in their 30s?
Only a result of society.
We're raised to be timid and body conscious and doesn't necessarily help that some guys are almost entirely focused on the physical when it comes to women.

We know what to do now! We know what to tell you to do to actually make it good for us! :D

this is interesting--i wonder how many women prefer masturbation to sex with their partner. i assume many women are still faking it it. it's sort of sad!

First, I think the man should see to the pleasure of the lady before his own. After all, he's not the one who could get pregnant if a condom happens to either be applied incorrectly or if there is some oddball infinitesimal chance that a condom breaks.

Second, I think that providing oral stimulation for any lady should be standard, especially if the man expects it himself. With oral sex a man can actually focus a lot of attention upon the clitoris, and can help his partner achieve orgasm much easier then with penetration alone.

Third, I think that a man should ask what the lady wants, and he should be persistent but not pushy about it. If all else fails, the man should pay attention to her physical reactions.

Then again, I'm just a man, and my experience is limited, so I will admit that I could very well be talking out of my ass.

Here are my womanly views.

I think the complications with sex begin in childhood. How your parents/society talk to you, as a girl, about sexuality is so important.

Often women don't feel able to talk to a partner about what he can do to help her climax. A lot of time the woman doesn't know what will help her get off. Self exploration is important. It should not be looked down upon. Why is male masterbation standard operating procedure and women's isn't?

I enjoy sex more when I am emotionally connected. That is another aspect that males struggle with. I know that you can turn it off and on like a switch but I can't...not if you really want me to enjoy myself.

It's a fact that 70% of women can't have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation. So when she directs your hand down there, reaches for it herself, or grabs something that will help her along, don't get offended. Don't think that you're not a man because you can't make her cum. That type of attitude will only lead to her faking it. Keep in mind that what worked with one woman might not work with another. You know going in you're gonna cum, make it your intention to make it happen for her as well. At least most of the time.

sex, and good sex at that, is so important in a relationship. and being so, it takes; pratice, research, practice...open communication between the two parties is crucial. tell him what feels good. and guys, do what she says! brush your teeth, take a shower and get it on!!!

Interesting observation jimwiz3416. Would be good if the girls would show their views on that as well. Girls? Some distraction from the rich banks bail out market.

I completely disagree - it's the software - not the hardware!

What we believe has more to do with what we're experiencing than anything that's actually happening.

Basic knowledge of sexual mechanics - but with a strong emphasis on care and consideration of your partner - is all that's required for a satisfactory relationship.

Sexual dysfunction has more to do with our level of dishonesty, our sense that we're not safe and our beliefs about sex itself - that it's weird, unhealthy or invasive...

What we *don't* need is someone telling us our bodies aren't built for sex - OMG! - the reproduction of the species is the strongest urge we have - arguably stronger than our urge for survival.

There's no need to focus on the ability of a woman to have clitoral orgasms through penetration when the entire body can be an exquisitely sensitive erogenous zone of excitement, pleasure and orgasm.

"The author of the Hite report, one of the most detailed surveys of sexual behaviour ever carried out, says doctors, therapists and the public share a collective blindness about this simple anatomical fact which determines the way in which most women achieve orgasm."

Oh my, it would appear that for centuries we have been doing it all wrong.