Fame, Wealth And Beauty Are Psychological Dead Ends

Wealth and money without love is like being married to the devil

I love DECI theory---I believe this research make alot of sense- We are not alone, we are social beings, we need to feel useful -- by doing something for others, we also have a need to love others and we are here to develop---get wiser in a holistic way...

havn't we known this for years?

malathion: Do you feel like a Goddess? 300 lbs! I bet you don't look like a Goddess.
:-}
Oh wait, you probably meant God. (never mind)

it is impossible to be unhappy when pushing heavy weight in a gym , because you can't be thinking about your little self when there's 300 pounds on a bar above your head , to which your hands are attached and which will crush your ribcage and possibly kill you if it doesn't have your undivided attention .
you can whine all day about whatever the hell it is that makes you whine , but if you make a habit of going to a gym , even if self hatred drives you there , you will wake up one day feeling like a god / goddess , and you'll look in a mirror and you'll actually look like one too .
i know a guy who stepped on a landmine in vietnam , had his right leg blown off , was shot 4 times , and is partially paralyzed on the other side of his body , has glaucoma in one eye and has had cancerous tumors removed from his kidneys . he's also a recovering alcoholic , divorced , almost broke , and yet - yet- the man swims at our gym everyday , with an artificial leg on to stabilize himself , and weight trains 3 times a week , without a trainer .
i have no pity whatsoever for any asshole who would complain about a damn thing if they aren't completely disabled one way or another .

HowieGreen

I think the "perceived necessity" underlying how advertisers work is profit, the method is by means of Cognitive Dissonance.

The more advertisers can depict Important People (Too Big to Fail!) as being what we all secretly want to be, the more money they'll make. A nice incentive.

From infant years onward it's quite easy to provoke and fix attention simply by having large numbers of people staring at something. Gather a group together and have them all gawk at the same rooftop - a crowd will form.

It's easy to pretend that there's a neat sell-able trick to 'being important'.

'You too can be more than humanly glamorous by virtue of buying or wearing' a parade of conspicuous products (and thus join an apparently tightly woven cosmetic elite, perpetually in formal attire, looking wasted and ravaged by ennui.) Isn't that what you really want?

The more such insecurity is tweaked the more it can be spread horizontally and used to induce sales of otherwise trivial products. The luxury "muscle car" as a reproductive stimulus among the credulous is only one example.

Wherever you find people setting all sails for manic shopping binges, or forever trying to keep up with fashion, you've located a likely well of tapped anxiety about the perceived acceptability of self. A feeling of vulnerability which can in turn be tapped by the unscrupulous and forever heightened over time to create a fully dysfunctional society entirely obsessed with Image over Substance.

How have we changed in the last 50 years? Forget all that silly stuff about what a President says or even does! Would she\he be a blast to share a brewski with? Are they good dancers? Is she\he a hot dresser? You can buy that image, you can buy those clothes.

You can "look" what you are not.

Turn on the tube and what do you see? We seem to be living in fashion show of raving opinion leaders, really with little more than something to sell and a bag of psychological tricks to hawk more snake oil.

The snake oil pitch. That hasn't changed.

My point was whether you're going to buy yourself a shallow life.
That's what happens almost right away. You want to find that little piece of grace from the storm of worry - so you go shopping. Get a latte. Buy things.

Is this the beginning of your unproductive future?

Ease can be an addiction that will take everything you got to break out of.

Fame, wealth and beauty are ok if they are consequence of something more important. It should be a sub product of your own desires, not the desire itself.

I think it is the fact that, particularly is this society, people have put ALL of the emphesis on money. If you don't have it and what it can buy then you aren't successful. Which is such a bogus argument. What if what I love, what I am passionate about doesn't happen to pay well. Does that mean that I am not successful? Does that mean I shouldn't pursue what I enjoy. No...it simply means that I have to make due with less.

I am happy with that. I would take love and passion over money any day of the week.

It's not that those things cannot be fun but when there are those devoid of the other levels of being...now that is sad.
Rich is better...all other things being equal. When it is the focus of one's entire existence...that is where the problem lies. When it is worshipped, that too is where the problem lies. We are so far over the top with being shallow and so UN DIVINE that I don't know that there is any hope for a reversal. Unless the commercials on TV and elsewhere start selling ethics and love. They sell greed and power as the top two so why would anyone buy the others?
Yes, the back of a Rolls is much better for crying in than is the back of a Schwinn. We have however taken the almighty dollar to ridiculous proportions. ANd people are so impressed by money. Have ya noticed? I have.

"Oh yeah? Try frowning on a jet ski"

If any or all of those three things are your GOALS in life, then you probably have the intellectual depth of a kiddie pool. I can see how that might make you unhappy.

If, on the other hand, you pursue more laudable goals: healing, nurturing, easing pain, spreading joy, finding peace -- and in doing so gain wealth, fame or beauty (I am sure I am not the only person who knows souls who are so beautiful that their "looks" are irrelevant), I'll bet those are the exceptions to this rule.

This should really help the authors get their next grant.

Isn't that another way of saying that happiness is available for a short term lease?

That is the same cycle of addiction that fuels the rat race.

The "catch-22" is falling for the binary choice since it is not either money or happiness.

That is the same mistake people make when they misquote "Money is the root of all evil" when the right one is "the LOVE of money is the root of all evil" it is the primary focus of gaining material wealth and the attachment of possessions to your self-image that is the problem not the the wealth or possessions themselves.

Ella Fitzgerald said:
"I've been rich and I've been poor. I like rich."

I'd much rather be unhappy in a Rolls Royce than in a Mini - much more comfortable. Money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure helps. Lack of money brings misery.

Well, I guess I gotta be the kill-joy a-g-a-i-n...
and make the one point: While it seems that -money- can make life easy, 99.99999% of the time, it allows people to do nothing.

No worky - no get anywhere. No development.

You can not pay somebody else to do your work.

Maybe that is entirely what's wrong with all these flea bags that have been ripping off the economy and the political system.

They think they are winning, but they made shame half-people out of themselves.
You're the one whose got to pick that weight up. It's a catch 22.

so we should thank "the economy"...it's only trying to make Americans a little happier.

Kinda throws a monkey wrench in the idea behind that bumper sticker that says "Those who die with the most toys win" doesn't it?

Of course that has already been proven from the research of Abraham Maslow

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is predetermined in order of importance It is often depicted as a pyramid consisting of five levels: the lowest level is associated with physiological needs, while the uppermost level is associated with self-actualization needs, particularly those related to identity and purpose.

Deficiency needs must be met first. Once these are met, seeking to satisfy growth needs drives personal growth. The higher needs in this hierarchy only come into focus when the lower needs in the pyramid are met.

Once an individual has moved upwards to the next level, needs in the lower level will no longer be prioritized. If a lower set of needs is no longer being met, the individual will temporarily re-prioritize those needs by focusing attention on the unfulfilled needs, but will not permanently regress to the lower level.

For instance, a businessman at the esteem level who is diagnosed with cancer will spend a great deal of time concentrating on his health (physiological needs), but will continue to value his work performance (esteem needs) and will likely return to work during periods of remission.

i kick ass , it's what i do . i've always kicked ass and will continue to do so forever . i'm not going to die , others will , sometimes because they have offended me for some reason , but i won't . that's my plan and goal , and i'm going to look good doin it , and it'll never be about money or fame , it's just my thing .

gonna go become a hobo now guys peace out.

But really though, it seems to make sense.
Although most people might take that the wrong way, so you'd probably be careful about how you put it.
Might end up with a generation thinking "don't do anything involving money" and....that would probably be a really bad thing in the long run.
But despite that, it's a good thing!

Here's an article about a long-term study that looks into happiness. (Too bad nobody paid attention to women back then...)

"For 72 years, researchers at Harvard have been examining this question, following 268 men who entered college in the late 1930s through war, career, marriage and divorce, parenthood and grandparenthood, and old age. Here, for the first time, a journalist gains access to the archive of one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies in history."

I got everything - BUT fame and money.

I'm good lookin' though :-}

Money, fame, good look, they're all what I call "The Apple". There are consequences, but alittle bit here and there is not that bad, it actually can be fun. Just dont live your world around them Apples thats all. There are lots more thing can be as good as the Apple, like family, loving relationship, helping others, SHARING!!!!

It may be all well and good to discount such obsessions in terms of a deeper psychic satisfaction, but the fact remains that our society continues to venerate fame, require wealth and, arguably, advantage physical beauty.

Perhaps it is the perceived necessity to strive to achive these things over all else that is making us all profoundly unhappy.

Great article DeliaTheArtist. It's so true. Say, how do I look?

Fame, Wealth And Beauty Are Psychological Dead Ends.

If the lack of them makes for bliss, then I'm in Nirvana.

identifying what is beautiful in the world and your life is the key to happiness, and happiness is what success is all about. I once read, "give everyone some paints, a canvas, and some brushes, and the rich will soon loose their grip on everything they hold that is powerful."

Sure, it makes sense somehow to a certain point. But these are ephemeral objectives and no one can live up to it forever. If you got it! Enjoy while you have. The most important goals it is to nurture our spirits and minds and have good relationships. Love your friends!