Community | June 28, 2009 | 25 comments

'Gayby boom': Children of gay couples speak out

source: http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/06/28/gayby/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Image
singrrr
Jesse Levey is a Republican activist who says he believes in family values, small government and his lesbian mothers' right to marry.
Levey is part of the "gayby boom" generation. The 29-year-old management consultant is the son of a lesbian couple who chose to have a child through artificial insemination. He's their only child.

Critics of same-sex marriage say people such as Levey will grow up shunned and sexually confused. Yet he says he's a "well-adjusted heterosexual" whose upbringing proves that love, not gender, makes a family.

"You can imagine what my parents thought when I was 13 and listening to Rush Limbaugh everyday," Levey says. "But my family had strong family values. I was raised in a loving, caring household that let me be a free thinker."

The modern gay rights movement began 40 years ago this weekend during the Stonewall Riots in New York City. While much of the controversy surrounding gay rights today has centered on same-sex marriage, a battle is brewing over another family issue: Is it bad for children to be raised by gay or lesbian parents. Explore the modern gay rights movement »

It damages the children, says Dale O'Leary, author of "One Man, One Woman: A Catholics Guide to Defending Marriage." She says that all children have a natural desire for a parent of each gender.

But children of same-sex couples are forced to repress that desire because their parents won't accept it, she says. Their parents won't acknowledge their children's needs because they don't want to admit that they have caused their children to suffer.
"A baby is not a trophy -- the child's welfare has to be considered," she says. "These children are more likely to experiment with same-sex relationships. They're more likely to be confused and hurt."

Children of same-sex couples come out of the closet

O'Leary says she doesn't personally know any same-sex parents or their children. That's the problem, some children of same-sex children say. So many people are talking about them; not enough are talking to them, they say.

Some gayby boomers say they are tired of hearing that their family isn't legitimate. It's an argument many have heard since they were children. They learned that they didn't fit the definition of the "right" family, and worried how others would react if they found out about their parents.

The result: the children of same-sex couples often lived lives that were more closeted than their parents.

"Many of us were so closeted that we didn't know others like us were out there," says Danielle Silber, a 26-year-old fundraiser for the International Rescue Committee, who was raised by lesbian mothers and gay fathers in Takoma Park, Maryland.

"In middle school, because of pervasive homophobia and taunting, I didn't tell any of my new friends in school about my family to the point where I wouldn't invite them to my birthday parties," Silber says.

Silber says she didn't tell her parents about her fear of harassment because she was afraid to stand up for her family in school even though she was proud of them.

"Although I would normally turn to my family, I couldn't because I was ashamed that I was ashamed of them," she says.

Shame has now turned to pride for some gayby boomers. Many are now adults. They're writing memoirs, searching one another out online and have even formed their own support and advocacy group.

Their numbers are increasing as well, according to COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere). At least 10 million people have one or more lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender parent.

"As Harvey Milk [the first openly gay man elected to a major public office] said, the more people know us, the less they'll vote against us," says Silber, coordinator of COLAGE's New York chapter. "The more our voices are heard, the less other people will be bigoted."
  1. groups:
    Community,   Health,   LoveLife,   LGBT,   4 more
  2. tags:
    News,  Health,  LoveLife,  LGBT,  4 more
  3.     
    |

25 comments // 'Gayby boom': Children of gay couples speak out

  • chocdex
    • 0
      chocdex  

    • I have nothing against gay and lesbian couples. In my opinion that is not for me to judge. My problem is that I am married (to a man) and we can not have children. We were looking into IVF but it is too expensive and our insurance does not cover it. We are trying to adopt but that process is taking forever. While doing the research on both of these processes I found out that if my partner was same sex our chances would have been better. Now how wierd is that? I disagree with that highly. All because they are scarred of a lawsuit. Well now we are being discriminated against. I just don't think that is fair.

    • 2 years ago
  • maizein
    • 0
      maizein  

    • "... who was raised by lesbian mothers AND gay fathers..."
      I'm confused... how's that possible? How many people were raising this girl? At least 4 I guess..

    • 2 years ago
  • grizzly_xxl
  • ColdWorld
    • 0
      ColdWorld  

    • I wake up each day with a smile knowing that somewhere some old racist, sexist, homophobic bigot didn't make it through the night. I find solace in the fact that old ways of thinking must die, just like the bitter old shells of human beings that carry them around. That's why the GOP is losing its base. It's a base i could care less for the well being of. May you all join your nazi brethren in hell.

    • 2 years ago
  • FallenMorgan
    • 0
      FallenMorgan  

    • I hate the two-party system. If he believes in smaller government he should allign with the Libertarian Party instead of the party that wants to take the rights of his mothers away. A vote for someone who "won't win" certainly is better than a vote for someone who you disagree with, but disagree with less than some other guy.

    • 2 years ago
  • artemis6
    • 0
      artemis6  

    • We are all human . Love knows no color or gender . If we can just stop the old haters from brainwashing the young , with unquestioning hate ....

    • 2 years ago
  • randallr01
  • dirtyoldtown
    • 0
      dirtyoldtown  

    • my mom came out after she had already raised 4 kids with my dad, and now has a 2 year old with her partner of 6 years..my baby sisterjust calls her moms mama and mommy..

    • 2 years ago
  • StaciMagnolia
    • 0
      StaciMagnolia  

    • I believe Current just did an aired piece about gay GOP'ers. Gay Republican would immediately seem like some sort of oxymoron but I think it shows that perhaps the younger generation is closing the gap, at least socially, between the two parties. And after all, this is America -- it takes all kinds -- which is a wonderful thing.

    • 2 years ago
  • LemonHarangue
    • 0
      LemonHarangue  

    • yeah and with only 2 political parties in America it is almost impossible to agree with a party on everything. When one choses a party they have to make compromises, i think that's kinda stupid

    • 2 years ago
  • nikelibertate
    • 0
      nikelibertate  

    • Not all Republicans are racist sexist homophobes. Jesus, talk about stereotyping! He's probably a fiscal conservative, it doesn't make him a social one. And just to make it clear, I know several GAY GOPers, so please curb your ignorant rhetoric.

    • 2 years ago
  • bluestranger
    • 0
      bluestranger  
    • nikelibertate:

      They are called log cabins gops. They are not accepted as a legitimate caucus of the RNC. Kinda like LGTBs that look for acceptance in religious organizations. Shouldn't acceptance among civilized people be enough?

    • 2 years ago
  • jh64487
    • 0
      jh64487  
    • nikelibertate:

      maybe you should curb your parties rhetoric. we stereotype you because your loudest and most public members also happen to be some of the worst people on the planet, right up there with osama and stalin (or would if they could get there way).

      fix that, then we'll talk about not stereotyping.

    • 2 years ago
  • davesarush
  • Found_Avenue
  • bluestranger
  • bpowers100
  • Commentor
  • bluestranger
    • 0
      bluestranger  

    • His parents are lesbian and he is a gop? How Does that make sense? Did somebody forget to tell him that gop's idea of family values were inspired by Archie Bunker?

    • 2 years ago
  • corndog67
  • twitterbot
    • 0
      twitterbot  

    • @boyinsuit on twitter says ""When you grow up with Lesbian mothers, you can't get your ears pierced to rebel," he says. "I became a Republican.""

    • 2 years ago
  • theultimateend
    • 0
      theultimateend  

    • I agree asherp.

      The entire world is waiting for the old crazy folks to die off. Unfortunately they appear to be trying to take us all with them.

      If you get a chance watch the daily show episodes where one of their reporters was in Iran. It's sad to think that we might someday bomb them, just tons of innocent people that not only really are indistinguishable from us but tend to know more about our politics and our history than we do.

    • 2 years ago
  • alivein85
    • 0
      alivein85  
    • theultimateend:

      dude, i know! i saw that too. its so sad to think this nation can look at them as an enemy when we are so much alike. we even look at eachother as enemies because of this whole right/left fiasco.

    • 2 years ago
  • asherp
  • metalcookiesxy70
more from Community:
from the community

top videos