What is Marriage - What Makes a Family?

.Thanks Jubal....Marriage is first and foremost Man Made...and humans are first and foremost animals..although most animals will deny it....just like all Man Made items there are good and bad parts...but there can be nothing wrong with anything Man Made as long as it involves Love....Man Made things take a very wrong direction when they deal with Hatred...and anyone should have the right to do anything they want as long as they don't cross that boundary of causing pain or distress to anything else....you know...the old Golden Rule...don't marry anything that would not marry you.....Golden Ruler...Will

Thanks Motherfortruth. I have had a lot of personal experiences that have impacted my life and motivated me to study this subject.

Interesting subject, well written and well thought out post.

Why are you asking us? Apparently, it's Big Government, the Religious Right & the White-Male-American majority that decides what "marriage" & "family" mean!
So nowadays,... love, marital freedom, commitment & tolerance take a back seat to what "they" say we can do.

I read much of what you wrote. Very good writing...and well thought out.
Thanks. Hadn't thought much about the details of marriage and family and the meaning.
And yes...this nation needs to pull it's collective head out from under the covers and realize the world is a'changin.'

Last night in class, Criminal Justice, a man in his early twenties said something about what I term as "old fat white farts" in office. He said something to the effect of, "Wait 20 years and we'll be running this country. Maybe we can make it better."
I sincerely hope he is right.

Jubal,

Nicely done. I just published a chapter on this topic in a book, entitled “The Queer Community: Continuing the Struggle for Social Justice,” edited by Richard G. Johnson (2009). I also published a variant of the chapter (more “intellectually rigorous”) in a journal (History of Sexuality). The chapter's a review of the legal and social history of marriage in general and in California specifically. Basically, I concur with your writing. And I'm impressed with your clarity and honesty. Keep it up.

Marriage in the US is just a piece of paper.

I don't really think you need a piece of paper to love, or live with someone you love, or raise a family with someone you love.

True love is beyond a piece of paper, so live life like you want, and forget about the paper.

Marriage is a civil contract, usually entered into by two people who intend to cohabitate for life. Family has many legal definitions with many twist and turns. My definition would be people that love each other unconditionally and are concerned about the welfare of the other for life. Using my definition it would mean that some who are legally married and have biological children are not actually family.

marriage is family
family is how you define it
love is love no matter what sex, age, or ethnicity you are.
being able to tolerate diversity is what will make peace amongst us all.

Very well written. There is a good deal of very interesting things to read. I will look at the links posted here also. You ask a lot of deep questions here that I can not just type up an answer to right off of my head. I hope that every person interested in this issue read this and the links you posted.

I think our definition of marriage has been narrowed between a man and a woman, but even then it's flawed because of its limitations because of cultural change. Even to the definition of family has been changed because of cultural change. Family is people who you go out of your way for and expect nothing in return. You don;t need kids and like marriages in your own personal family to have a family.

http://www.youtube.com/v/OFkeKKszXTw

If you want to read my paper about marriage you can find it at the following link: http://www.jonjaramillo.com/gaymarriage.htm

My bottom line opinion is this. Marriage in America is a religious institution for the vast majority that defend it as "traditional" marriage "God created" marriage. The Government has an obligation to stay out of religion and not sanction any position that borders on creating a State approved religion. Therefore I believe that all marriages in the United States of America should be made CIVIL UNIONS under CIVIL LAW. Let the RELIGIONS have marriage back. America should get out of the marriage business and allow churches to offer marriage. Everybody that gets married has to go get a civil license to get married and that should be equal for everyone regardless of their sexual orientation. I also believe that America should recognize all KINSHIP FAMILY TIES such as TRIBAL or CORPORATE or PLURAL/POLYGAMY as far as it goes with dispensing RIGHTS and RESPONSIBILITIES of what it means to be a FAMILY. Keep the two things seperate and preserve the Constitution.

For example, if two sisters form a domestic partnership, they should be able to get insurance for one another and one should be able to claim the other as a dependent on taxes, or they should be allowed to file a joint return. If a Mormon family with one husband, four wives, and 10 children file their taxes or get insurance benefits, the entire family should be considered as dependents or insured family members. If a plural marriage with 3 wives and 4 husbands wants to take out a group policy or file their income taxes as a group, they should be allowed to do that. And even a family that exists solely for economic reasons as a Family Corporation, they too should have the same rights and responsibilities. Being part of a family gives the group economic power; especially when you have lots of dependents and children to reduce your tax burden. The combined income of family groups could create formidable financial forces. And it would ensure that more children are loved and cared for instead of abandoned.

I wrote a paper about this issue as well and you can find a link to it here: http://www.jonjaramillo.com/familyinequality.htm

I hope this wasn't too long winded an answer. It is a big deal to many people because of what they have invested in the myths of what they believe is real about their world view. Is there a god? Is there an invisible man in the sky who is watching us all and is going to either reward or punish us when we die; or even while we are still alive? Or is there nothing except for a synchronistic benign Force that, as in Star Wars, can be made to do the will of Good or Evil? What is Evil?

These are very mysterious questions because the answers rely on faith. You cannot prove or disprove anything with regard to questions such as these. What you think and believe has a lot to do with what you are taught and what you come to believe through personal experience.

Let me know if you have any comments or other questions. I don't claim to have "The Answers", but I do have lots of hard earned opinions.