Community | July 30, 2009 | 0 comments

Imagined conversations: Ensign chats with the Devil, God, and his family

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LasVegasWeekly
Imagined conversation 1

Late one night on C Street: A prayer goes sideways

Ensign: Lord, why did you put so many obstacles in my path? I was well on the way to running for president. Sure, I wasn’t exactly doing a bang-up job for Nevada, what with the rising unemployment rate, massive cuts to schools, health care and public programs, but I’m good-looking, white and well-off, so all that other stuff was just politics. But now I’ve got a scandal on my hands. I’m seen as a hypocrite, and I’m possibly looking at ethics charges. What’s more, my family’s been dragged into this mess. Why, Lord? Why?

Devil: Why are you assuming it was God? I mean, give a homeboy some credit.

Ensign: Whoa! I forgot about you. I just thought you were the one screwing up my golf game. I never figured you for something this obvious.

God: Actually, John, it was neither of us. You kinda did this to yourself. I mean, it’s not like you found a wallet on the street and didn’t return it.

Devil: Yeah, normally I’m glad to take credit for these things—Sanford, that was all me, dude. That guy couldn’t find Argentina on Google Maps.
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