No One Believed Me

i definatly think men r not treated fairly. its much easier fo a women to simply claim insanity then take any responsibility for there violent actions

I'm sorry, I do admit that I did, but in yours, however, nursediesel. I much rather prefer two eggs, bacon and toast, with a splash of orange juice and coffee ;D hehe But this comment guided my superbly arched aim: "He really was too immature to be married. He continued to tell me I belonged to him until I remarried. His second wife ran off with their minister!"

Honest eristicism can sometimes be a meaner streak for me. Who'd have guessed by your earlier exclamated report that this man could have had the talent to raise three outstanding young ladies, having lost two wives. It is now rather high and rather guarded praise I hear, if haply "unjustly" elicited, for my own view.

I never doubted you that you would claim to be the Perfect wife nursediesel. =) My deliberate point, rather precisely, in fact. But I don't wish to be appear a complete asshole. I'm sure you ARE an excellent wife. And MUCH better than most, in fact. Maybe I'm just jealous ;)

echoz, who pissed in your wheaties?
My first husband and his wife, who was one of the young women in our community I knew well and who babysat my son when his father and I were still married. Over the years both continued to talk with me regarding problems they had. And they did have problems as have we all. They stayed married for many years through many difficult things. When she ran off she left their three girls with their father, who raised them to be outstanding young ladies.
What gave you the idea that I disrespected my first husband. I did not. I was a good, in fact excellent wife. He would verify that as well as his family.

Being a caring male is not a crime....being taken advantage of for it should be.

i know this is the ugly line to walk for devil's advocate, but I'll do it for the controversy =P The bible asks, a virtuous woman who can find?...

I suggest perhaps nursediesel does some of the best feminist maneuvering you'll ever see "casually" alleging the most obvious damning "immaturities" in her first husband. I know this because in every relationship there are plenty of complaints to go around, and when one side of the coin speaks, there is still another. And although I am tempted to wax vulgarly, I will try restraining myself, sufficing it to say that nursediesel, unequivocally, but of course, unquestionably exemplified only "Perfection" in literally everything she did/does/ever has done as a married woman, not even so much as to throw a lingering fart at ANY inopportune time whatsoever...(and maybe that was in some way an instigating unspoken part of that whole unsolvable "immaturity" thing of nursediesel's first husband...we may never know ;) Yet just as successfully does nursediesel suggest "Perfectly" also did her estranged husband's second wife as well, fuck the be-jesus out of their minister hard enough to run away with him (or he...her), which again, of course, nursediesel lays solely, disparagingly, only at the feet of her "disciplinarian" ex-husband with such unblinking confidence as exonerates perhaps the second-worst bitch he ever had the misfortune to marry "for better or worse" minus all the necessary graces. Though I've never been less astounded a woman's role in any relationship is never actually, legitimately questioned, even amongst themselves apparently (save murder I guess!), I am for my masculine parts quite curious, WERE you actually around, nursediesel, to see that affair conspicuously unfold and develop as it happened, to lay such blame glaringly at your husband's feet? Perhaps you were actual witness to the fact perhaps that his second wife was simply INNOCENTLY able to move on from spanking to places you never could, or dared!? Pray tell. ;) Or could it be in some SMALL part true that what you hope everyone to assume isn't more honestly lingering attitudes about your own ongoing "negative" experience of your own ex-husband, at least running amuck for a totally different relationship you may have as honest business talking about, and that even being privy to some trifling details? Either way, somehow, it does seem to me it's at least AS LIKELY someone has perhaps been under rife pressure pinching butt cheeks holding back a few nasty ones for far longer time than necessary to purchase "respect"...

And yet with all the bs perhaps I'm just simply disaffectionately digging at the one thing no really WANTS to say: enough women are simply and sincerely fuqtup; and there are No excuses. We ALL know our uncomfortable share, and we think because there's no nice way to say it, we shouldn't acknowledge it's as true as it is even more subtly commonplace, regardless of whether women like to admit it or not to men or themselves. Even subtly-feminist women can come to the "enlightenment" when "tested" that they just don't need men, all with the cop of an attitude. Snap simple as that. That's increasingly the Independent Woman attitude, kicking a man in the seat of his pants for fancy. And when men don't play the stupid chattel, some women manifest their extreme stupidities and utter disrespects with violence that begets violence as well in some cases, and I dare say, though unpopularly, not all of it undeserved.

Enough women are naturally manipulative, selfishly conniving, backstabbing bitches who are only too damn willing to make a man look the fool and the patsy for everything they really want, and feel entitled to. Enough woman are some of the most subversively underhanded betraying creatures that man has ever known.

Just Ask Samson =P

Much respect for your posts about mens rights. I guarantee that there are less individuals actually committing these crimes than those being charged.

It appears women are more violent than men in relationships. For some reason that doesn't surprise me.

women initiate at least as much domestic violence (DV) against their male partners as males initiate against their female partners.

men comprise about a third of DV injuries and deaths

50 percent of the violence in their relationships was reciprocal (involving both parties).

In those cases, the women were more likely to have been the first to strike.

Moreover, when the violence was one-sided, both women and men said that women were the perpetrators about 70 percent of the time.

Yes, McCainiac, the best thing is to walk away. Why?Because these people are invariably agrumentative and confrontational and they are abusive as well. They seem to love a good fight but that is only a trick. They just love to be violent and strike out.
They are not assertive, they are hurtful and vengeful and filled with anger.

The problem is that we are conditioned to believe men are aggressors and women are victims. The truth is women can be just as abusive as men. In fact according to American Psychiatric Association “…of the 24 percent of relationships that had been violent, half had been reciprocal and half had not. Although more men than women (53 percent versus 49 percent) had experienced nonreciprocal violent relationships, more women than men (52 percent versus 47 percent) had taken part in ones involving reciprocal violence. Regarding perpetration of violence, more women than men (25 percent versus 11 percent) were responsible. In fact, 71 percent of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were women. This finding surprised Whitaker and his colleagues, they admitted in their study report. “

The situation as the one in this story is very common as police are trained on Primary Aggressor Doctrine in DV Arrests that is always assume the man is the perpetrator and woman is a victim. That is just wrong. Domestic violence laws must take in an account the statistics and not ideological beliefs.

I remember being struck by a pathetically weak blow from a woman. Scary, thinking this is all a woman has to defend against a man. I remember a perfectly open shot that was not even close to making me flinch.

While it may be difficult for police to imagine a woman causing a serious blow to a man, a good officer would keep an open mind.

This isn't really a girls vs. boys issue. Yes, society and thus the law look at it in a skewed view when the female is the perpetuater. It's not fair but how many things in life are?
Know the warning signs and get out of abusive relationships as soon as you see them. Very seldom are people in long term relationships and then one day someone does a 180 and flips out.

While any abuser deserves punishment and rehabilitation, we should not lose sight of the fact that 9 out of 10 times the man abuses the woman.

Modern society has made women more agressive...this has it's advantages and disadvantages...

In the case of abused husbands or mates, it would seem more wise for the man to document evidence of the abuse somehow rather than retalliate physically...he might have a better chance of doing something about it...

Catch 22...

There are a lot of crazy people and losers in this country. Maybe I'm just in contact with a larger proportion than most people. People, whether they're female or male, who abuse other people are the biggest losers. Don't stay around abusive people. Walk away. It never gets better if you don't. I don't want to recant personal experience, but from my experience and the experience of some of the people I've known, females seem to be more abusive than men, in general, and the degree of abuse and ability to get away with it is astounding. Just walk away, and maybe hide.

My first husband 'spanked' me for 1/2hr.- 45 min. because I had sinned and needed to repent. (I used a curse word). I was going to return to him but my family doctor and my minister convinced me it would only reinforce his right to continue using physical force to punish me.
His cousin, God love him, had a wife that put cigarettes out in his chest and beat him. He would not hit her.
I'm sure if he did it would have been the male spouse that was arrested.

From all the news that has flooded my mind over so many years, it would seem that most domestic violence is done by men against women. For example, many of the women who have been murdered, had already taken out an order of protection against their (former) husband killers.
These guys usually have a very small amount of self control and a very large amount of ego.
Usually, it's related to,..."Why that slut, if I can't have her, no one can have her." Or, "By killing her, I am saving the world from having another incompetent b**** alive."
However, it is true though that there are either more and more cases of women attacking men, or men who have formerly been ashamed, and are now openly accusing women of attacks on them."

Drugs can give people rages . Prescription ones for sure . Other than that , I think it is impulse control and considering your actions -before- you do them . Aberrant behavior is considered a mental illness what ever its origin . Sociopaths , for instance , do not identify others as worthy of compassion , or consideration as separate individuals outside their own needs or desires . Violence and all manner of cruelty comes as an easy solution to one such as that . There is a clinical name for all of us because "normal" parameters have not yet been defined . Personally , I have never once seen violence improve a situation . Yet it is glorified , and that is troublesome . Our very excitable reptilian brains are all for it . It is the neocortex that says " Don't do that ! - BIG social problems ..!! " We don't do a lot to foster the neocortex these days . In this culture at least . We have cut alternative forms of expression in the schools . Art and Music involve the whole brain , but Really light up and strengthen the neocortex in children . Where I live , a lack of social /emotional awareness that can lead to " behavior problems " is often caught in preschool . The earlier it is caught , the easier it is to modify . It is too bad people are trying to squeeze more profit out of things , because , quality of life of the culture is determined by how much thought , time and effort it bestows on its young . Profit isn't everything , happiness is . The two are not always interchangeable . I am not saying everyone should be free of responsibility . I am saying the culture could do WAY better at giving people choices . Some people just don't get it . Not without a lot of reinforcement . Some are EVIL . Are we not yet clever enough to find out how this comes about ? This is such a relevant question , on every level . Pursuing this with more vigor is certainly warranted .

just violent or mentally ill.....can the line be defined?

div is it just me or do woman these days have bigger ego's than men?

Men and women NEED to be charged equally. This bullshit about men being the perpetrators and women being victims needs to end now. Women are just as violent as men. This idea that society tries to circulate that women are only emotionally violent is ridiculous. Women are physically violent as well as emotionally.

Argh, makes me so mad.

Thanks, motherfortruth, good find!

EDIT: I realized it wasn't you that said women are believed to be docile..

There is no reason to inflict physical violence on another being unless it is in self defense.

The discussion behind these issues needs broader coverage. I frankly think such a discussion will help men AND women. Women who commit violence toward men are just as much in need of punishment, counseling and treatment as their male counterparts.

It's a crime either way. I am lucky I have been married for 30 years and my husband has never laid a finger on me. But let me tell you if he ever did I wouldn't stick around for a second time like I see most of these dumb bitches do.

Women are so much more gentile and docile, how could they every commit a crime?

They aren't humans, they're women! They are incapable of violence.

why am I not surprised... this double standard needs to end.