Spanking detrimental to children, study says

...mmmmm...a trip down memory 6 mth ago lane, Darius...and ironically I had the same pic...my twiggy phase again...lol...just reading my comments, and they're still the same...I totally don't agree with slapping/spanking of any kind...but as to frat boy jerkoff, well, ditto, ditto...

children are primative and very primal in emotions and thoughts and not by much less than some adults... spanking I think is an equally primative punnishment. so I think the question is, do we really need to hold onto these archaic punnishments? then again sometimes a little asshole punk douchbag son-of-a-bitch does need some sort of forceful 'readjustment'.. just as sometimes that mindless frat-boy lacross ape down the street needs his ass kicked in on drunken occasion, mostly just to remind him that there's always someone else out there bigger, badder, and faster, but then he's an adult concenting to the battle while a child isn't... I don't have the answer. I'm just not going to be the hangman.

the day any one in school tasers my child with any thing is the day that person will have his anatomy rearranged

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte

If children live with criticism,
They learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility,
They learn to fight.

If children live with ridicule,
They learn to be shy.

If children live with shame,
They learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement,
They learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance,
They learn to be patient.

If children live with praise,
They learn to appreciate.

If children live with acceptance,
They learn to love.

If children live with approval,
They learn to like themselves.

If children live with honesty,
They learn truthfulness.

If children live with security,
They learn to have faith in themselves and others.

If children live with friendliness,
They learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

I'm thankful I was spanked. It helped me curb a lot of negative behavior and become a better person. I don't think I was spanked at age 1 or 2, however. It just seems a little twisted to be whipping a kid still wearing diapers.

This article is horrible and the research is way off. First of all your not spanking kids your spanking babies 1-3 yrs old--that is abuse. They can't even talk or understand why their being spanked.

Redo the study on kids aged 5-8 and see how much more they start respecting their parents.

Child abuse is wrong, but spanking is not necessarily child abuse.

I was spanked all the time when I was little and I'm fine. I think it depends on how bad they were acting is when I would spank them because I know that a little time out or sending them to their room would be a waste of time.

No pun intended but this subject has been beat to death by people who derive some pleasure either mentally or physically from spanking their child
tommic

There's a time and place for everything. Spanking should be somewhere between restriction, and throwing out of house. (some parents call the police on their kids, I would disown anyone who did such thing, family or not)

i also think it matters wich parent and wether it is aboy or girl involved.because i am the mother of three sons my 14 year old who is 6'2" (i am 5'4") my ten year old is the same size as me the only one i am bigger than is my 8 year old and i have to say that hitting my oldest son just turns into a laugh fest he says thing like oh what mom you want to go and i'll say you have to sleep sometime and we both laugh.the other two the only time i have to get physical is when they fight with eachother and then i risk just as much pain as them.wich of course they feel bad about later because we love eachother .see i can just tell them come on guys i'm tired if for no other reason than my sanity can you just behave and most of the time they will. my oldest son has even patted me on the head .i have to laugh

Spanking did not work on me . As a kid I viewed it as a loss of control for the adult . I lost respect for them because of it . They were too stupid to communicate effectively and solve the problem . That was me . My son is also "spirited " . When he was 6 , I tried spanking him . Not effective then either . What works ? Rock solid consistency and recognizing good behavior . I confess , I yell , rarely . It is very scary for a kid to see a parent angry , if there is a strong attachment between them . So I thing a strong bond cultivated between parent and child is the best solution . He trusts that I am in control and generally will look after him and he wants to help me . Most of the time .

jubal, I appreciate your moderation and I don't think you are wrong. There are two premises I strongly object too: 1. Children should be seen and not heard. 2. Spare the rod and spoil the child. I find it amazing that there are people who still think this way and this type of mentality makes me fighting mad. These are the people I have an issue with and not someone as reasonable as you are.

@ Wayseeker, I never said that spanking was the only solution. I clearly stated that there are perhaps a couple of times where it is necessary or warranted.

I support using patience, reason and logic to accomplish behavior modification 99% of the time.

My 4yr old is refusing to eat his dinner because he doesn't like "plant food"..should i..

A.send him to bed hungry..which will mean he will go wakeup his little brother who i just tucked in..

or..

B.pop him upside his head and tell him to finish his food...

I went with B..and afterwards he finished his dinner...discovered that spinach is'nt that bad..got to munch on his favorite batman snack things for desert while watching batman:-)and now his happily tucked away in dreamland...

if i wouldve went with A...it wouldve been a long night...also to point out both my boys have martial art mentalities...i have been a student and trainer in various styles since i was my own kids ages...anyway i believe in discipline...and i dont mind physical touch...we wrestle and "play box" as my oldest calls it all the time and its usually him iniating it....this shows me that my son trust that i wont hurt him and knows when he does something wrong there will be a consequence...some families are completely different and have totally different views but lets not label all parents bad because of how they discipline their children...in the end all that matters is that the child understands..COMPLETELY

There is nothing wrong with spanking. I was spanked as a kid. Its a good way of teaching kids not to do it again.

Nothing wrong with correcting your child. Something IS wrong if you don't. Kids understand a spanking, I speak for myself. I appreciate my upraising. Momma did good, better than your mamas. lol.

This article is talking about spanking children under 3? That's crazy. they are still bablies. I think a kid should know what's going on before he gets a whipping.

every child is unique, and reacts differently to either physical or mental abuse...so many clinical child psychologists on current, it's astounding...I have just three words...DIVERT THEIR ATTENTION...and I'll show you my credentials...

Don't spank your children, they'll always have a fear for you that they won't be able to understand or explain.

Spank?

I much prefer alcohol. I find they fall asleep and leave you alone after that. Much easier and it doesn't sting your hand.

Three shots of Hennessy and little Jimmy stops eating crayons and pulling Jill's hair.

Of course, if little Jimmy starts building a tolerance, then you can spank him. Even so, I find a little push down the stairs teaches a more valuable lesson: don't mess with dad.

Oh for petes sake if the child needs a spanking spank the child. that does not meen beat the child to death it meens a swat on the behind. I was spanked and I turn out Ok. some times a child needs it.

Honestly, I was spanked as a child (age 4-8) whenever I did something that I knew was bad. I think I turned out just fine.

i would also like to add that as a child my father hit and my mother did all the nagging,taking away and time out type punishment and to be honest i would have rather got hit it was just quicker

if you do it right spanking is benificial what i mean by right is love a child more than you punish them,make sure there is a time that is safe to tell you any thing.make sure they know no matter what you are the adult you will never bring them true harm and they can always come back to you. and this is the most inportant teach them to believe in something bigger wether it's the fear of god ,the law,karma the ebb and flow of the universe some thing bigger than yourself.and then it's been my experience that the child them selves do not want to break the rules.oh one more thing you have to practice what you preach.

It dismays me that so many on this post think spanking is the solution to teaching a child how to best behave. As long as parents refuse to learn new ways kids will continue to be physically assaulted and the world will continue to think violence solves problems. Why would anyone hit a child if they don't have too. Notice no one has said they want to learn a better more gentle way to relate to their child while getting results. They just keep on insisting that spanking is a good way to go about it. Actually it's just the easy way.

I was spanked as a child when I did something really bad. Yeah it hurt for a little bit, but I learned my lesson. It didn't affect me mentally at all.

Have you seen how kids act today? WAY worse than when I was a child. Todays children have no discipline at all. When I take my son to a school function the other children act like there hyped up on cocaine. My son sits there quietly and doesn't run around the school screaming and yelling. He has respect for the school and people around him. I haven't spanked him in a few years. I think the few spankings he did receive helped dramatically. He his an excellent child. A little discipline goes a long way.

Did they test it out on immigrants? Us chinese people get the shit kicked out of us by mama and papa. Look where we are now. We're at the top of all the Ivy league schools.

That's now known as chid abuse and rightly so. when a choice made by a child is responded to without teaching them about choices and consequenses and how it effects people around them and alternative actions opposite to what they did and what else they could have done. Take the time to see before you respond. do it the way it wasn't done for us, if you happen to have been raised like I was which sucked.

My parents never spanked me or abused me physically. They never needed to... they knew how to hurt me where it really hurt, the wallet. Well that and if i complained about the food we were eating i could just go hungry. Im not saying spanking is good or bad but personally i never needed to be spanked to be punished.

were i to live my life over again, i would prefer spanking to being lectured. as the nuns used to say, "if you want your child to act like an angel, you've got to beat the hell out of him, first."

J-Jammer - Spanking has everything to do with violence because spanking is hitting and hitting is violence. My wife was a special education teacher and taught me how to relate to our children. And I could care less if you believe me or not because people who know that being gentle brings good results understand what I'm saying. It tells me something about you that you don't.

My mom never hit me as an infant, but she did throughout my whole childhood and tried to do until I was in my mid teens. She punched me in the face on accident once. This really lead to an irrational fear of her, and didn't motivate me much with schoolwork.

mmm...just diverting a bit here...a kid's room is their private place, that one little haven where they can just be alone with their toys & books etc...but at a very young age, if you turn it into a "go to your room" punishment place...!!!!!!!!!!!!...we were always sent outside to sit on the step...

Why do people think that spanking is a constant thing? Like every little thing they do wrong BAM...

because it's not.

As someone said it's effect for certain things and to a certain age.

I want to add that there are techniques for getting a child under control without hitting them. It takes time and patience to learn them. If you meet a child half way by relating to them on their ground instead of always yours you can reach a duel understanding that allows for control of the situation. But it takes work and patience and many people just take the short cut and physically abuse their child.

@casejacks, that is exactly the difference between an honest spanking and abuse.

that's why you send kids to their room.

It makes them think about what they've done.

I agree with that you should never spank or shake a baby. There are so many ways to divert a toddlers attention that you don't have to use spanking to achieve your behavior goals.

However, spanking can be useful maybe two or three times in a child's life. Its a tough call, but there are some very pivotal moments when corporal punishment is appropriate.

Also there was a comment posted earlier that stated that spanking should not be a reason for tearing a family apart. I am against tearing families apart unless there is something extreme at work. Personally I think that too many social workers and child protective services agencies are too quick to tear families apart. There are two main reasons, one is ideological "big brother knows better than you because big brother has many experts with degrees" the other is "there is not enough money being allocated to help parents become better parents so it is more cost effective to terminate parental rights and give the kids to someone else who is 'better equipped' to parent the children".

Unless the parents are monsters, the damage done to the children ripping them from their parents is more detrimental.

Spanking a child is sending them the message that it's alright to hit someone if you don't like what they're doing. It also sends them the message that if you weigh 150 lb. it's alright to bully someone who weighs 30 lb. My wife and I raised 5 children and never spanked any of them. We used our hearts and our heads instead of our hands. They turned out to be emotionally and mentally healthy adults. Hitting a child is admitting that you are too ignorant to discipline them without assaulting them. There's no excuse for it.

Here's my question... Is it really the spanking that is detrimental or the other aspects of modern day parenting?

I'm a 32 year old father of 3 and although I don't spank my kids regularly they have all been spanked.

The problem is, without the other areas of parenting being solid (encouragement, love, nurture, etc) spanking is undoubtedly going to be detrimental. However, at the point is it truly the spanking that is detrimental or the lack of those other areas that form the opinion of what "spanking" actually is about?

In my view, many of today's children unfortunately see spanking as a sign that Mommy or Daddy is angry rather than as a sign that they've done something wrong.

I remember a certain Doctor Spock that told parents what to do....and he was wrong.

Nothing like parenting other parent's children.

hahaha.

i'm having trouble posting. my computer has some ethical program and many words are . i have to keep finding other words to use. if anyone has an idea, please help. royulery@verizon.net

I was spanked and im not a freak.

So screw your studies.

why not check out all kinds of families instead of just low income, i dont agree with all that is said. i think its how far they take that little spanking to, just enough to give the child a message, 'cause verbal sometimes doesnt cut it (goes in one ear and out the other), just dont abuse the child is all.

there is more than one way to skin a cat.

I was never slapped...if I played up, there was no TV, no friends coming around, and later in life, if I got home late, everything from my room was piled up in the hallway...which I had to meticulously put back in place, including double bed mattress...lots of non-aggressive ways to get the message...

My parents hit me twice when I was younger. I remember those moments specifically and very clearly, and they didn't hit me often because I was usually a well-behaved kid. That's because they knew how to discipline me other ways without getting physical, so they rarely saw it as being necessary to hit me.

However, I remember how afraid I was of my parents when they did hit me. That's why I'm really troubled by people here talking about how hitting a 3 yr old will "educate" them and discipline them. When my parents hit me, it didn't teach me anything about my behavior. It didn't make me reflect on what I did and why it was wrong. The only thing it taught me was that my parents were bigger and stronger than I was, and that they could hurt me if they wanted to.

I think it's really hard to defend your right of hitting a child younger than 2 yrs old. But if you do hit a child that's 2 or 3, or possibly a few years older, I think it's important to understand that when you hit them and they decide to behave afterwards, it's not because you "educated" them. It's more likely that they're just afraid of you hurting them again.

I don't want the fear of being hurt to be the reason why my children behave.

I gotta beat down all the time growing up! I will not repeat the process.

there's ing and then there's ing. i remember being trained and facing rage. once my pappy beat my ass with a 1 by, i was 4 maybe 3 and i was astounded at how much it hurt, it was unimaginable. once he kicked me half across the room and i hit the wall, above the floor, with force and fell in a heap on the floor where i laid until he left. later on there was more but the worst was verbal abuse, he broke my spirit and i lived most of my life as half a man. i was lucky i found a.a. before i drank myself to .

Yeah, I wish they came up with that study in the eighties! I got my a$$ whopped a lot. I basically got a beat down from ages 4 til age 12. I also was a little rascal too and I do not need counseling.

I was NEVER beat, but somehow my parents still knew how to put the fear of god in me. I did NOT mess with em till I was a TEEN! lol

Yo i got spanked to shit when i was a kid, lol not really but i did get spanked. i think at a certain age it is useful though. ( i couldn't come up with a better word than useful but you know what i mean.)

I think discipline is important in parenting, but the child has to first understand their own actions before they can understand the consequences. Spanking a one year old wont help because they don't even know that they are doing something "wrong", but if your teenager gives you some lip...

POW!

That'll learn 'em

I never got spanked. My parents refused, and thought it was mean.

Because it is! There are so many more positive ways to treat your baby.

This is BS, just like the article says: "Still, some experts say spanking has a time and place" Spanking at the right time and at the right moment makes a difference and if you do, you may never have to spank again, but If you don't, then you won't be able to spank them because they will spank You!

this artical in closely linked to the child that faked his kidnapping to hide his report card.

link....
http://current.com/items/90941622_11-year-old-

I disagree. I was spanked when I was a kid and knew that I deserved it. I was also physically abused, and there is a huge difference. When you're not sure if your dad will stop hitting you before you die without knowing why he's even hitting you it causes psychological damage. When you get a swat for doing something you knew was wrong it's a lesson in cause and effect.

I have some older friends with young children, and when they pop their kids, I always shudder...

There are more productive ways of teaching your children (without making them afraid of you).