Is it ok for a woman to hit a man?

I think that we both been misinterpreting each other.

While I do not condone violence of any sort, I feel that if you are being attacked by anyone that you should be within your rights to defend yourself.

If a woman slaps a man, he doesn't have to smack her back. But I feel that he is within his rights to slap her back because she started the assault in the first place. This does not mean he can place the whole force of his body behind it. A man should be able to control his own strength.

Violence is never the answer to solve any problem. I would like to live in a world where we solve things by reasonable discourse, however I will not be naive to the fact that both women and men beat each other up.

An Example:
My brother is a soft-spoken, timid, 180-pound guy. His fiancee is quite bigger than he is. She has, on occasion, pushed and yanked him around to the point where his clothing is ripped and torn up. If she struck him, she would undoubtedly bring more force to a blow than he would given the size difference. This is something I fear might happen eventually. However, given the nature of the society, if my brother were to defend himself, he would be arrested for domestic violence despite how much he was hit on before. Even if he only pushed her away.

This is what I DON'T agree with, and this is also why people do not believe men should hit women. Only the roles are reversed. Yet, often times when men are pushed around, smacked around, or beaten on by women it's found humorous or as a sign of weakness in a male because of the societal structure. When we let gender discrimination become the status quo, we are not upholding equality.

This is why I think that men should be able to defend themselves against the physical attacks of women. And only in self-defense. Once you physically attack someone with the intent to seriously harm them, no matter how big or how small they are, then you should be able to defend yourself from it even if it means taking an offensive. And you should not be liable for arrest because you subdued that person if you were not the aggressor in that situation.

Thank you for completely misinterpreting my point. It just illustrates the complete cognitive disconnect most people have with regard to actual gender equality. I made essentially the exact same argument you did, only from the other end, and it amounted to me being called a "woman beater". Never mind that I did not once express any desire or intent to hit any women, only that I expressed disdain for the perverse double standard, and that apparently makes me someone who wants to "beat that bitch with a bat!!".

KSirys, the more you say, the more you validate this article. Right down to when you acknowledge that male-inflicted domestic abuse will always likely lead to imprisonment, while the opposite will likely only lead to being granted financial compensation in court.

The day you say, "See you in the slammer", to a woman who thinks it's all right to hit men is the day that society will actually make some sense.

Oh, and I love how you patronize women by saying they will never be as strong as men. Never mind that women and men come in all shapes and sizes, and that not every man works out, and that not every woman sits at home painting her nails all day. And yet *you're* the one with the moral high ground. Right.

I'm misinterpreting your point when you're screaming for equal rights and upset that someone is going to question you if you hit a woman back?

Self defense is one thing, hitting a woman or trying to do the same thing a woman does to you is another.

your comment.... "KSirys, the more you say, the more you validate this article. Right down to when you acknowledge that male-inflicted domestic abuse will always likely lead to imprisonment, while the opposite will likely only lead to being granted financial compensation in court."

So, you're telling me you're an expert on the field of abused man in this country? How would you know all woman who attack man don't pay the same crime? Are you an attorney for all the man in this country? I never made such a broad statement, yet you seem to think my comments fall under your argument.

your other comment... "Oh, and I love how you patronize women by saying they will never be as strong as men. Never mind that women and men come in all shapes and sizes, and that not every man works out, and that not every woman sits at home painting her nails all day. And yet *you're* the one with the moral high ground. Right."

So again, your comment means that all woman know jujitsu, karate and/or boxing and are 5'10, weighing about 220.... right? Or maybe they are 6'5, 200 and have the ability to smack a guy unconscious

You know... I generalize woman based on what I see on a daily basis and have yet to discover a woman fighting a man or beating a man; and have that man on the ground beaten or unconscious because she was that much stronger than him.

So save me your righteous bullshit and think before you decide to comment again. I'm not for woman rights on hitting man, I'm for the stop the violence on woman being hit, because man like you, need "equality" or "the right to do the same thing a woman does to me" bullshit. Defend yourself all day long when someone (woman or guy) attacks you, it doesn't mean attack a female with your fist because she pushed you or slapped you.

You find me a video or an article where a woman, used her own fists and knocked out a man unconscious because she was that much stronger, or better yet... knew jujitsu, you pompous prick.

Thank you. That is my intention.

Continued from post...
Is it ever "right" to hit someone? This is certainly arguable, but I have never hit a woman. But I have been slapped. In that case I see it somewhat as... it was not about her mindfully intending to perpetrate a violence against me... it was something to do with 'crying out', needing to bridge an untenable gap that was pressing upon us, and obviously frightened her very much, and she evidently had no viable words in that explosive moment, and the response was obviously not one from premeditation, but purely emotional.

Now, granted, she 'slapped' me as opposed to hitting me with a crowbar or a mayonaise jar (thankfully). Was it violence?.. yes. Was it abuse?... well it felt like it in the moment it happened, but after thinking about it for less than a split second I realized it was not.

But is it not unlike, say... well have you ever seen someone very frightened who, when you approached to help them, to pick them up, they suddenly reacted hitting and slapping - seemingly fighting you, but you felt compelled to just hold them "thru it" until the mania subsided, realizing it is not you they are fighting or intending "you" any harm ...kind of thing...?

I find it painful to ascribe bland linear thinking to people and situations without due consideration and sensitivity for uniquenesses. This is where too many narrow-minded rules play part to alleviating us from the burden of our responsibilities to pay closer attention to one another... as if that were a burden as opposed to a gift (to be able to learn from one another through our natural interaction). {On a side note, in the US this was the whole origianl idea behind "common law" as opposed to "statutory law".}

I think in what we deem 'typical heterosexual relationships' it would be rare for a man to slap a women out of the same "crying out" sensibility as I describe above, but I am sure there are exceptions (any gay friends reading this shaking your heads up and down? What about you twisted partners with alpha-female / beta-male relationships? [I meant twisted in a loving way ;^} ).

If one has a complaint of abuse there is no arguemnet that it should be 'equally' handled. And we do need to address serious issues of inequality consciousness in our societies. However, I would hope that we don't have to perpetually invalidate each other's uniquely beautiful natures in order to realize and enjoy equality and freedom.

Oh yeah... so I think one of the main questions raised by MFT was concerning the issues of what we may or may not see as a "double-standard", i.e.,...

MFT wrote: "If a woman hits a man it’s a comedy.
If a man hits a woman it’s a tragedy.
This double standard not only exists in the entertainment world but also in news events."

In response to this implied question to us, my personal response is...
...yes, there are times when I might find 'the slap' funny, or rather... meaningful outside the strict definition of abuse. Other times it may appear to me to be abusive.
So no, I do not find that -->in and of itself

If you're strong enough to bring a hit, you're strong enough to take one.

I don't hit women. If a woman slaps me, then I am within my rights to slap her back. If she attacks me with a closed fist, I should be able to defend myself.

We should not be letting double standards come in between equality. The reason why women are allowed to get away with slapping men around is because of the double standard in our society.

If it is a single slap or punch, then yes walking away AFTER making it very clear that her actions are unacceptable is probably best. However, if a women is actively attacking a guy, he has every right to defend himself.

Women need to be taught throughout their lives that it is not acceptable or "funny" to hit a guy. Women also need to be taught, as do men, that "A real man will just sit there and take it or always walk away."

I have had a number of women hit me in the past, and I have very clearly and adamantly (and non-physically) made it very clear that such a thing is in no way acceptable.

Also, there is a very clear difference between a playful type slap or punch as opposed to the "i'm mad at you and therefore I can hit you" slap or punch. The latter is what I am responding to above.

really lifestudentno83?

well, since you decided to make a statement about my comment. Let me answer it by saying this.

You are entitled to your opinion and your beliefs. If you feel the need to hit a woman after she hits you, go right ahead and do it.

When you put your logic of "If you're strong enough to bring a hit, you're strong enough to take one" I hope you put that same belief and logic when you have kids and your daughter decides to slap her man or hit her man for some reason and have her man, hit her right back. Send her to the hospital and say the same thing you just said.

"hey, if she was strong enough to hit me, she was strong enough to get hit back"

Like i said before, I don't believe in a man hitting a woman because our physical strength will never be the same as a female. A female in the past has hit me, smacked me and hit me with a pan, but all I did while I was trying to walk away, was push her away from me and walk out. What happen the next day? I was home relaxing and she came to me and apologize.

Now I know not every situation is going to play out the same way, but if you don't try it, you won't know.

Also, for anyone and everyone who lives or has lived in the ghetto and sees a man hit a woman, don't be a coward and just look. Do something about it and stand up for the woman!! They brought us to this world... remember that!

@ KSirys:

"Hell no! but for any guy on here that says it's ok to to "hit back" or "strike her back" is ok, than you're no REAL man at all.

A REAL man, would walk away and find a way to make the situation stop before it continues. If you feel you need to hit a woman, than you're just like the coward who hits woman for no reason.

Learn to walk away or run away, no matter what happens, you're always stronger than a woman. Don't cry when your ass is in the slammer because you hit a woman."

Thank you for illustrating exactly the sexist double standard that's the problem here. No one would say that a woman who hits a man "isn't a real woman". And yet, for some reason, in order for a man to be worthy of his own God-given birthright - his GENDER - he has to adhere to a nonreciprocal standard that essentially renders him powerless to do anything but back down, regardless of who's right or who's wrong.

A REAL woman would walk away and find a way to make the situation stop before it continues. If you feel you need to hit a man, than you're just like the coward who hits men for no reason.

Learn to walk away or run away, no matter what happens, you're always stronger than a man. Don't cry when your ass is in the slammer because you hit a man.

...see how absolutely absurd that sounds? It's sick that our society demonizes proponents of actual equality.

"You are entitled to your opinion and your beliefs. If you feel the need to hit a woman after she hits you, go right ahead and do it."

It's not about "feeling a need". If I feel that I am physically threatened by a woman to the point of where it would impact my overall well-being, then why is it that I am suddenly the bad guy for wanting self-preservation and defending myself?

"When you put your logic of "If you're strong enough to bring a hit, you're strong enough to take one" I hope you put that same belief and logic when you have kids and your daughter decides to slap her man or hit her man for some reason and have her man, hit her right back. Send her to the hospital and say the same thing you just said."

First of all, if my daughter(hypothetical) slaps someone and she is sent to the hospital, the problem is not that the man hit her back, but that he repeatedly hit her back. And therefore, his new problem would be finding the police before I get to him.

Second, I would raise my children to hit someone only in self-defense, because if you go around smacking and punching people, you are liable to get hit back.

Lastly, you established fault right there. She hit him first. Should she not expect some sort of backlash for hitting someone? If I struck a man in the face, then I should expect some sort of reaction for my action. Why is this different with women? Because they are "physically weaker"? This is a flaw in our societal views and creates a taboo among both men and women:
"Women are allowed to strike men, but men are not allowed to strike women. Any man who strikes a woman for any reason is a coward, but any woman who strikes a man must have good reason." Do you not see the problem here?

"Like i said before, I don't believe in a man hitting a woman because our physical strength will never be the same as a female. A female in the past has hit me, smacked me and hit me with a pan, but all I did while I was trying to walk away, was push her away from me and walk out."

And had you pushed her and she inadvertently tripped over something, guess who would have still been at fault for her injury and liable for domestic violence charges? You.

I am not advocating hitting women or smacking them around, but if they are convicted enough to attack someone with a frying pan, then I think she has crossed the line of "victim" to "aggressor", and you should be allowed to defend yourself. Had she gotten a knife, would you have felt so apprehensive about defending yourself? This is a societal double standard that needs to be eliminated from our psyches.

If you see a man beating up a woman, by all means stop it and try to use reason to come to a civil conclusion. Use your body as a shield.

However, I wonder what you would do if you saw a woman beat up a man. Would you try to stop it? Would you cheer her on? Would you root for her, without even knowing if she provoked it or not? And if the police arrested the male, would you protest to it, or assume that he deserved it on some level?

Great point EMS!

No one deserves to be physically abused. The divorce is a legal and viable option.

"(keep in mind, i can be kind of an asshole)."

LOL! If we'll be honest, every single one of us can be 'kind of an asshole' at the right times.

it has been estimated that 80% of unreported DV incidents are female against male.... Why do men not report it?? They are often made fun of or ridiculed by society and even those who are supposed to be putting this on the paperwork.... As you have pointed out the people who do the paperwork do not include the incidents as DV.... Even the media is at fault for never using the term DV when a man is aussalted or murdered by his partner/wife...... Why?? There are funds derived from the statistics of DV and altering them would disrupt the money flow.....

Wow. I go to Loyola as well. I am studying abroad now, but not to long ago I received an e-mail about this sexual assault investigation. That's so effed up she lied about it. I hate double standards.

whats even more effed up is that you are students at this place and do not know all of the details... one has to ask why are you being left in the dark as this gets swept under the rug?? Is everyone OK with just keeping their noses down and returning to the regularly scheduled programming aven when something like this is happening right in your dorms??

Calls can be made to Dean of Students at Loyola expressing concerns 773-274-3000.

In this instance, the 'updated' main article from the Chicago tv station was posted at 8:30 that morning. It's apparent that she made the original claim BEFORE 8:30 am. The article says that at 1:00 AM she was drinking with three guy friends. I'm more inclined to think that she made the claims while she was drunk, they checked it out and found a drunk girl running her mouth.

No one was arrested or hurt in any way. If anone had been locked up for this I would agree that charges should have been brought against her, but the cops did what they have probably done in many cases even with guys in a college town, they ignored it and sent her home to sleep it off.

what consequences are there if the police, and courts treat female on male abuse as if its a joke??

yea man i agree man

any "retaliation" will be held against you in the court of "law"..... one cannot even subdue their partner to protect themselves without getting charged with DV....

Now that's usually concentual with a code word for cease and desist! You go IHTA!

Yes we always have a "safe word" lol

It is logical but our dual justice system does not see it that way.

If a man hits first - the woman is powerless to strike back because (most of the time) men can easly overpower women.

That line of thinking is the issue right there. This isn't a discussion of whether the man hits first; it's about whether or not it's okay for a woman to hit a man. If a woman strikes a man first, is that man within his right to defend himself?

We assume that women are weaker than men, that if a woman strikes a man he is supposed to take it and not make a big deal about it. This social stigma is why women can get away with spousal abuse and men are arrested on the mere insinuation of striking a woman. If we truly have equality, then women who hit, beat, or rape men should be subject to the same punishment a man is when the roles are reversed.

I have known at least one male friend in my lifetime that was infrequently assaulted by an over-physical female spouse with a temper who would never consider striking back in self-defense because of the obvious legal outcome.

On another note, when I was younger I had a neighbor downstairs in my duplex who viewed himself as something of a ladies man. Once he struck up one of his fleeting relationships with a woman in the hood who was already involved and after a short time thought better of it and let her know, presumably over the phone. A knock came at the door and it was her with fists flailing, she beat the crap out of him as he made only moves to ward off her blows in light of the fact that if he went any further he would be the assauter in the eyes of the law, or so he thought. Shortly thereafter he got a visit from the cops whom she had called and complained of an assault by him. He was arrested and booked and charged but later beat the rap after much duress. Note: He was a dick and deserved what he got because he regarded women as disposable sex toys.

However, it's the law virtually everywhere that if an accusation is made by a woman against a man and there are signs of an altercation, the man is presumed guilty till proven otherwise.
Much like an unfounded allegation of child abuse, if you are a male and accused you are in big trouble, even if the story is made up out of whole cloth and your reputation may well never recover.

Yep. Its a crock.

tell that to the DV judge.....