Community | July 20, 2010 | 24 comments

Homophobia may have claimed another life | A tragedy close to home » USU SHAFT

source: http://usu-shaft.com/2010/homophobia-claims-another-life/

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toyotabedzrock
Utah leads the nation in male youth suicides, and there was a tragic reminder of that fact yesterday.

On July 19th, Todd Ransom, a young gay man from Salt Lake City, committed suicide. It is unclear why exactly Todd took his life, but his friends report that he faced disapproval from his family and struggled to reconcile his sexual orientation with his Mormon upbringing.

I never knew Todd, despite sharing several mutual friends with him. But his death has greatly saddened me and countless others. There will be candle-light vigil held in memory of Todd tonight at 9:00 PM outside the state capitol building.

In response to this and other recent gay Mormon suicides, my friend Isaac shared his own personal struggle as a gay Mormon on Facebook. With his permission, I’m posting the full note here.

When I was a little boy, my beautiful mother would take me in her arms and together we would sing the words of the LDS primary song:

I am a Child of God
And he has sent me here
Has given me an earthly home
With parents kind and dear.

There was no qualifier of “unless I grow up to be gay.”

And yet nearly twenty years later things seemed to come full circle as I sat sobbing on the bathroom floor of a dirty missionary apartment where, after taking a knife from my hands and calling for help, my mission companion took me in his arms and began singing in a soft trembling voice “I am a Child of God”.

I had struggled since childhood to combat what I felt was my true nature in favor of what my church taught was the plan of God. Weary, beaten, and worn I couldn’t fight anymore.

I was lucky. I failed.

But sadly there are those we love who do not fail. Tearfully we learn of and mourn those who we cannot judge for being weary of the fight and succumbing to the constant barrage of lashes coming from Utah’s predominant religion and dominant political party; their invariable actions declaring that we are not worthy of the same treatment as everyone else—that we are less than.

When will we learn that this is not a game?

The harsh rhetoric is not something to be used to score political points or to climb the rungs on the ladder of piety.

When the stripping of legal status and protections from gay relationships is celebrated like a Super Bowl victory, what does the gay person feel? When a state senator tells gay adolescents they shouldn’t come together to talk about their struggles in accepting their sexuality, what message does that send? When a bishop stands at the pulpit and preaches that loving committed gay relationships will destroy their family and asks for time and money to ‘defeat’ them, what unimaginable fear shakes the soul of the gay child in the pews?

We MUST normalize gay relationships. Every day that passes where being gay is viewed as undesirable and gay relations viewed as abnormal, is one more day that pushes our loved ones one step closer to the edge—to the point of no return.

I’ve said it before and I reaffirm it now: This is a fight for life!

As an LDS missionary I was taught that my purpose was to “Invite others to come unto Christ.” The LDS Church has admittedly done much good and provided legitimate hope and peace to many, but my dear Latter-Day Saints, your actions as members and the actions of your church organization when it comes to your LGBT children, brothers, sisters, and friends has done anything but invite me to come unto Christ.

Gandhi put it beautifully: “I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

Your message on LGBT related issues is a message of intolerance, of hatred (both external and internal self loathing), torment, and of death.

And regrettably, too many children of God are hearing that message loud and clear.
  1. groups:
    Community,   Progressive America,   US News,   Gay,   6 more
  2. tags:
    Gay,  LGBT,  Suicide,  Youth,  4 more
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24 comments // Homophobia may have claimed another life | A tragedy close to home » USU SHAFT

  • EthicalVegan
    • +2
      EthicalVegan  

    • Oh, my heart is sad. If only Todd could have escaped his family, his neighborhood, the church, his state... and known there is a world out there where people just ARE. What a loss for the rest of us.

    • 1 year ago
  • jubal
    • +2
      jubal  

    • The problem with America and the world at large is heteronormativity or compulsory heterosexuality. It permeates every institution and every aspect of life. It doesn't have to defend itself. It doesn't have to justify itself because the presupposition is that it is normal.

      Well normal is an illusory word. Normal is what you make.

      We need to unify all the equalitarian movements into one massive movement...we need to realize that we are all the same...we all want a flow of love...we all want a spiritual connection with other human beings...we all want to belong to a family. Why should anyone be clan less?

    • 1 year ago
  • jubal
    • +3
      jubal  

    • How do we reach those people who are suffering in silence? Who think that they are no good because they are gay? We need to put an end to this type of suicide because it is so wasteful and unnecessary. We need to reform old institutions and create new institutions to accept the free expression of sexual orientation without fear of reprisal or marginalization.

    • 1 year ago
  • Onyx_Honda
    • +3
      Onyx_Honda  

    • How sad that another person has taken their life over this.

      But the author of the above note spoke very eloquently about this problem. I hope it reaches people who need to hear it, like parents who should love their children UNCONDITIONALLY.

    • 1 year ago
  • Bren589
    • +3
      Bren589  

    • I spoke with a friend of mine two days ago , and his Nephew hung himself, only because he was gay and had no kind of support from his family. before he took his life he carved two words , on his left arm he carved agony., on his right arm he carved freedom. this poor man was tortured all through his life , His Parents hated him for being gay, nomatter how muh he tried to please them , His parents encouraged the rest of the family to make rude remarks and call him names. People need to really sit back ahink abut the damage they do to a person just by their words and actions. . But after all we do live in such a screwed up world. May this young man and so many others rest in peace

    • 1 year ago
  • toyotabedzrock
  • bike10
  • ReverandG
    • +1
      ReverandG  

    • My brother-in-law killed himself for no reason what so ever that we know of.
      My sister has to live with not knowing what the reason was and can only speculate.

      I pray his family finds peace.

    • 1 year ago
  • artemis6
  • TopScruffy
    • +7
      TopScruffy  

    • I can only imagine how overwhelmed he felt. It's a state run by a single homophobic, racist religion. Utah made it possible to lock up women who got an abortion the same time they are considering removing the 12th grade to save money.. to lock up women who got an abortion.

    • 1 year ago
  • Hipstar
    • +3
      Hipstar  

    • I hate when my family kills themselves because of the ignorance and hate of others!

      If you are Queer there is nothing wrong with you no matter what you are told. You are as perfect as any straight person can be. REMEMBER people are out there that care about you regardless of your sexual orientation!

      If your family can not accept you for who you are they are just going to miss out on all the amazing things you are going to do with your life! It is not worth your life to fit into a bulls#!t mold made by religions or just plain ignorant people!

    • 1 year ago
  • mario_a
  • freecrack
  • jubal
  • 5ka
    • +4
      5ka  

    • It's so sad, I've seen this around on other networking sites. I really hope this reaches farther than just here and the LGBT community, I think it'd really bring a positive perspective to anyone to read this.

    • 1 year ago
  • toyotabedzrock
  • artemis6
    • +2
      artemis6  

    • Ah , How long must we sacrifice the young to rigid thinking ? He looks so sweet . I love my kid for what he IS , not what expectations of mine he satisfies . That , ain't love .

    • 1 year ago
  • mbeharry
    • +5
      mbeharry  

    • My condolences to his family and friends. Our society is driving our kids crazy! We are focused on Hollywood and material items instead of compassion, love, education and the value of every single person.

    • 1 year ago
  • KSirys
    • +7
      KSirys  

    • This is sad! I hope the parents see what they did to their kid.

      No parent should ever be ashamed of their kids and sexual choices... NO PARENT!!

      My condolences to his family.

      and great post!!!

    • 1 year ago
  • artemis6
  • KSirys
  • sarasarasara
  • timetide
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