Mother threatened with expulsion from church for posting picture of son dressed as scooby doo character

I truly miss the church family, praise & worship music, the fact that the atmosphere was good for children. However, choices had to be considered, when the pastor disrespected my opinions & feelings on many issues.
A small insular community church, and primarily having no serious notion of what true sin was through their own life experiences, I never quite "fit." Add to that the fact that even though I was well above the age of all but 5 members, I was shown little respect, and was often told, in no uncertain terms, that my beliefs were unacceptable. I could not be loved,as Jesus loved, unless I changed the me I truly am.
Early on, I spoke to the pastor about a t-shirt worn by a long term member. I told him that I found it offensive, as would any person who walked in there for solace & acceptance. It was not a loving message, but rather very unaccepting of gays, women who'd had abortions, unmarried single moms, divorced etc. etc.
The pastor was concerned about "growing the church." When we visit a church building, we are looking for something, hopefully, our holy Father. We stay where we find our needs met.
I stayed for 6+ years, and learned much for which I thank them. However, I never became a part of the "inner" group, as I am different from their majority. I could not be true to God, or myself, if I accepted implied rules or disrespect.
I do thank them that I learned how to truly talk to my holy Father, to read & understand his Word. Through my time there, I learned how to research, find answers through reading my Bible, and other Christian reading material. I was raised very strict Catholic, and lived as many do---knowing that I could go to confession before Saturday evening mass, be forgiven, and hit the bars right after!

P.S. Many talk about the money that churches accumulate through our offerings. I once attended a community church in SC that gave a to the penny accounting of all income & outgo. Now, that impressed me. However, as they never preached politics, or told me how to vote, I had no issue. That may have been where I went too far with the most recent pastor! I kept telling him that he is not entitled to preach politics unless he pays taxes!

I'm so sorry that you went through all of that. It was similar for me. I've worked with lots of LGTB students, kids of LGTB families, and their friends. The pain of rejection is so sharp and sustained. The hardest thing to see is that at times, the warm welcome I extend can hurt them more. It reminds them that someone else is NOT loving them. Also, the constant search for acceptance or bracing for rejection is so draining. Nobody knows how another person or organization will respond.

I went back to Church (180 degrees from what I grew-up with) in 2002 after a long break. Mind you, I've taken a similar break from politics and service organizations. Some people have all kinds of twisted motivations and agendas that they use any power in their hands to enforce. I've experienced the same thing in politics, vegetarianism (I used to be one), and public service.

Lots of people are sure that they know so much better than anybody else. They feel that if you don't believe what they want you to, exactly how they want you to, you're a: Nazi or Socialist, Anti-animal sadist, America hater, or whatever. Surely bad actors exist, but come on.

I went back for many reasons but mostly because it was important to my spiritual health and I was ready to move on. Every once in a while, I have a terrible nightmare about being "left behind", but that's not my theology, it's just something kicking around in my memory.

Sometimes, I think about confronting that Church for weighing me down with all of that fear and confusion. To me, that was abusive. I am very careful not to pass that on to my Sunday School students. Instead, I try to inspire them.

I don't let the Church off of the hook here. If we say we are about a Jesus that redeems, heals, and transforms, then we need to do a better job. We also need to recognize that some see the Church as a "sheep" from "goats" kind of thing. They want to get to heaven and fill up hell as quickly as possible. It hurts me to admit that, but it's a sad truth. I think that's what some other posts are referring to.

After 9-11, I was very unhappy with my faith being represented by people claiming that the attacks were God's wrath for: feminism, abortion, gays, you name it. I did not want to cede the territory to hatemongers and others of dubious character. I was profoundly moved my the story of Fr. Mychal Judge of the NYC Fire Department. But that's a whole other story...

Financial reporting requirements vary from State to State and denominations also have various ideas about that. I am in the Episcopal Church USA, which has stringent reporting standards.

"And, I believe that to have a political agenda, you should be paying taxes."
I wish I could vote that comment up 100 times.

Of course they're fairy tales! Society even trains children from a young age to "believe" in imaginary things in order to indoctrinate them (for example: Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, Tooth Fairy....)

Good question. The answer is that the only people who have a problem with a child wearing bright colors and having fun on Halloween are those who are OBSESSED with sex. They are OBSESSED with gays & gay sex. They OBSESS over extramarital sex. They OBSESS over abortion & reproduction in general. It's all sex to them.

It's Halloween and he apparently wanted to dress like Daphne from Scooby Doo. There is no harm in that. There IS, however, harm in a 5 year old operating a car. Bad correlation.

Oh, and if "TigerMom" means controlling and overbearing, then get ready to have a child that is afraid of you. Or at the very worst, Norman Bates.

Um. Why not? Are we raising authoritarian children now? Contrary to your personal belief; children are capable of making decisions for themselves and -gasp- they learn from doing so.

There is nothing at all wrong with a child or any one for that matter dressing up as the opposite sex in any situation.

Perhaps, maybe instead of criticizing parenting styles one should just minding their own?

Actually, this is quite newsworthy. Too many who claim to be Christian, are spouting non-Chrisitan rules & political agendas, every Sunday & Wednesday, from the pulpit. This is not what Jesus teaches.
Mrs. Pallin is one example, Glenn Beck another, and on & on. Do not call yourself a Christian and spread hate.

I think you misunderstood Hulagirrrl's point. She meant that the pettiness of church-people is not newsworthy. LOL.

You got it all messed up. If its halloween, its anything you want. The one day you can dress or transform yourself without worry that someone else will impose what they believe is every ones opinion on you.

Seriously why would drag be an issue on halloween. This kid wasnt in drag even he was dressed as a cartoon character. A non living fictional persona. Children dont think about sex, or hate or judgment of other people as bad or wrong unless they see us do it. The only people that need to check themselves are the ones who believe they know the right way things should be done. Your opinion of how other people should live is not universally shared and everyone should be respectful of each other and not judgmental.

You may think you know whats best. But you just wait until what you think is best is forcefully attacked by those who think they know better than you.

yes but daphne is a harlot

"build a bridge and get over it" Classic. (grin)

I haven't laught that hard in a long while!
Thanks for the great zinger.

Quality.

There is a huge difference between religion, and the Word of God. We all need
Jesus Christ. We are not all aware of our needs.

I don't. I am perfectly capable of making moral decisions and living my life with out the interference of an invisible friend. Many others are as well.

The Bible was written by primitive men with ergot poisoning and under the influence of mushrooms trying to understand the world around them. If they couldn't explain it with rational though; it must have then been paranormal.

Don't tell me what "we all need." You don't KNOW. Your beliefs/religion require FAITH, and faith implies a lack of knowing.

I don't need faith. And I don't "need Jesus Christ." Your words are absurd.
(nice brand new profile by the way)

the picture got fame on her blog in november 2010 but all this stuff with the church is from late january

wish i could vote up this more than once

I third that motion!
WOW

i always think of the emperor when i see this guy.

I always expect him to start shooting lightning.

Well, this sounds like a Catholic church. Speaking as someone from both Catholic and Protestant backgrounds, word gets around between the Catholic parishes.

it does sound like a catholic church with the penance, but the "priest" is referred to as pastor several times. either way... thats really messed up

The latter is the most successful & productive route.

the issue is really about having a common link to a community and that's what churches provide. It enables business contacts to be made and life long friends in most cases. It must be unnerving to be threatened to be cast out of a community, but with all the open armed communities in the USA - there's no need to force yourself to stay with a bad one like this group.

I see no problem with the kid going drag... but I think you're right about the mother posting pictures of him doing it onto the internet. Something tells me that the story she wants to tell is about herself... her battle with these uptight people... and that she is using her son to do it.

you know tomboy behavior is not really frowned upon , this is a hostile world , take sexuality out of the equation and think about how little bullies need to get a hold of to make your school life at a young age , unbearable.

I'm not saying don't support the kid , i'm saying keep that shit off the net.

Kids want to do all types of stuff but however we support them we as parents have to make the right decisions to protect them.

Gay kids jumping off bridges cracking under the pressure , knowing the world is the way it is , if you were a parent of a gay kid , would you hand his potential tormentors ammunition?

What really bothers me is that after the story has gone into a national news publication with the face blanked out for the child's protection , that the blog is still up with the picture of the little boy's face , i was shocked when i clicked a link another blogger posted on this story to the mothers blog itself and the picture of the little boy was still there.

I mean knowing the amount of perverts on the web , putting a little boy in drag telling the world that he's gay seems like a invitation , if i were her i would not let that kid walk to school by himself anymore , id make for damn sure he got right into class every morning with my own eyes.

and if she had a "daughter" who dressed as Captain America and posted that picture on the internet, would that be okay?? by the way, adult men when they dress in women's clothes dress in "drag", children just dress up. The sexual connotation should not be addressed to a child who has yet to know what "drag" means, Savy??

and again I repeat - if she had a "daughter" who dressed as Captain America and posted that picture on the internet, would that be okay?? ........

Use your common sense , is tomboy behavior frowned upon the same way as boys dressing up like girls in society ? answer is no.

Would a girl get ridiculed in school because she dressed like a boy or a man for Halloween? the answer is no

Are lesbians in society looked down upon the same way their male gay counterparts are in society , again the answer is no.

Hell half the countries that have or have had laws against sodomy or other gay male behavior have no such law toward lesbians.

You don't play with the cards you wanna a play with , you play with the one's your dealt , the world is the way it is , not the way you want it to be and you gotta do whats right to protect the child based on the realities around you.

Furthermore none of us are built the same , you cant make assumptions about children and when they become aware of their own nature , i got friends who lost their virginity when they were 8 and 9 years old and countless gay men have come out expressing that they were extremely young when they discovered their sexuality.

-3...nobody is educated in psychology here....keep on confusing our children with unnecessary sex talk they cant handle...

It has nothing to do with sex talk...it has everything to do with discrimination. A 5 yr old is far more capable of talking about sex and gender differences and similarities than about the underlying psychological reasons people would fear and denigrate his choice of costume or react to his mother's open mindedness as a threat to their social and religious dogma.

As someone well versed in psychology, I was going to make it a -4, but decided to add this comment instead.

and if she had a "daughter" who dressed as Captain America and posted that picture on the internet, would that be okay?? ?

Please know that I mean no offense by this. I like your posts and I always stop to read them... so this is not meant as a personal attack in any way.
I'm a spiritual person, myself... but I have no title per se. The goal of Christianity should not be, and isn't necessarily to feed and clothe people... Because feeding and clothing people is akin to treating a symptom of a disease (while the true cause rages on)... Christians (read: Americans) are primarily responsible for taking all the food and resources in the first place... and have a history of destruction / madness. You can't be the cause of the problem, and then give some back and expect to do any good. If you steal a loaf of bread from someone who's starving (when you are stuffed) and then give them half, then they'll still end up starving (in fact, even more so... as history is showing us right now). The TRUE nature of Christianity is SUPPOSED TO BE to spread love and shepherd life on this planet instead of destroying or judging it as inferior. Down to the tiniest microbe, all life should be respected. The unfortunate reality is that Christianity is, more often than not, used as a mask to hide an even greater evil.
This does not mean that every Christian is evil, in fact, quite the contrary. Christians are good people, who want to do good... but they are pushed in the wrong direction for purposes of greed and ignorance. Christianity's core ignores the fact that we are tied directly to every living thing on this planet... Christianity says that we are separate from the apes, from the reptiles and from the trees. This, however, is the great failing of Christianity... for it cannot be denied that we are all a part of the same web of life, and to deny things that can be proven, like civilizations that existed before 2,000 years ago, fossils, etc... to deny these things is to deny the emergent nature of life and all things... and in fact... understanding this very core concept of finite energy within our ecosystem is integral to our continued existence and growth as a species. Without this knowledge, we are doomed to a hell on earth.

I always enjoy your posts and agree with what you say here.
But SO much of the gospels are about healing the sick and helping the poor -- for free!
One of my favorite stories is the rich man who told Jesus he followed all the commandments and laws to the letter, and asked what more he could do to be saved.
"Sell all of your possessions, give the money to the poor and come follow me"
Building heaven on earth is all about giving, and loving even one's enemies.
Nothing truly belongs to anyone. It's all a gift.

try being agnostic... all the fun of knowing there is a loving god without all the chains of religion... or that silly make believe story about the miracle maker jesus

you misinterpret what agnostic means, agnostic means you don't know hence you make no leap of faith. You don't make a leap of faith and believe there is a "God", and you don't make the leap of faith in declaring there is no god. Nobody "knows" that there is a loving god, they either believe in the absence of evidence or they don't.

PS - just because there is the idea of a perfect circle, doesn't mean one exists in our universe. Yet we have an idea of what it is and that enables us to do great things in math and science. Just because people have this idea of a singular god doesn't mean that one exists, and just because one doesn't exist - it doesn't mean great things COULDN'T come out of that idea.

I was fortunate to grow up with agnostic parents.
Thus I wasn't indoctrinated with hellfire in my youth.
I've never joined a church although I've gone to many.
And I've flirted with atheism numerous times in my life.
But I've always considered agnosticism to be wishy-washy.
Either you believe in the Great Spirit or you don't!
I choose to believe because i have personally experienced It.
On numerous occasions.
Burning bushes talk to me loud and clear.....
Why I like Jesus is the way he turns everything on its head.
From "He who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone"
to "Sell all of your possessions, give the money to the poor and follow me"
the man was brillient!
I honestly think that if humanity applied his gospel of unconditional giving
we could actually achieve a semblance of heaven on earth.

Well put. Jesus did speak often about the pitfalls of materialism. That's a good quote... he definitely had the right idea. I appreciate that you didn't take my post as an attack, as well. I like being able to talk openly with others about spirituality and religion. Thanks :)

i do believe in god... i'm not wishy washy at all... i consider myself to be agnostic though that may not be the definition that other people want to put on me. i believe in god but no religious texts. i believe in god as the spirit of love and life and eternity, because i remember.

then you make up a definition that suites me well enough for you... your definitions dont hold me to those words... i can believe in neon pink dinosaurs if i want to... and you can say that makes me a buddist... or you can just shut up and worry about your own eternity.... oh thats right... u dont have one.... because everything in earth, time, and space just magically appeared... there was no helping hand... there was no forethought... there was no idea to it... and when you die, you just die... what a wacky random world we live in....
i dont believe in the trappings of religion...and i also dont believe in the trappings of what other people say i am or i am not.... so good luck with your future of writing religious dictionary terms... its probably very lucrative... get all the money you can while you're here on earth, because when you die, u just die... lol

i tried looking but couldn't find where it was but i did find her blog

http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/

She sounds very open minded. Churches hate that.

how sad for those that are not heterosexual that we continue to use the "gay" word to show our loathing for people who loathe gays, we need to get away from using the word "gay" and actually state that these individuals are nothing but people who have no sense of self and reduced to deteriorating other persons so they can feel better about themselves. to say that they are repressed gays is to actually give them stature where none is deserved, they are neither repressed nor gay, they are just lacking in human decency

she clearly states he wanted the costume, why should a little boy be denied something he wants if it hurts no one. The only reason there is a debate is because super christian gossips cant keep their nose out of other peoples buisness

The mother is not trying to "feminize" her son. That was the costume he chose for himself. What's sad is that it has caused this much of a controversy. Let people be who they want to be.

lol i'll bet seeing crosdressers gives you a chubby.

and if she had a "daughter" who dressed as Captain America and posted that picture on the internet, would that be okay?? would you be calling Social Services as well??? where is your reason/rationale.....

the ascot was a dead giveaway.

man i love you.

rye ruv u 2 shaggy i mean littlewarrior