Community | March 03, 2011 | 23 comments

Mom Lets 7-Year-Old Son Become a Girl (VIDEO)

source: http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/116944/crazy_mom_lets_her_7yearold

bundlebear
What if your 7-year-old son liked to wear sequined dresses, preferred to play with Barbies instead of WWE action figures, and wanted to be referred to by a girl’s name instead of a boy’s? Where would you stand? How would you feel?

Lisa Ling's new show, Our America, on the Oprah Winfrey Network, introduced the country to a first grader in "Transgender Child: A Parent's Difficult Choice." His parents named him Harry. But when Harry was 5, he decided he wanted to be called Hailey because he felt more like a girl than a boy. His mom and dad, not knowing quite what to do, indulged his request.

Now the child has completely taken on the identity of a little girl. And his parents, a conservative Christian couple who may have had some preexisting notions about what’s right and wrong from a Biblical perspective, were challenged to rethink everything they believed about gender and sexuality for the love of their baby, their second son turned their only daughter.



Seeing a child feel so strongly about his or her gender at such a young age that they ask to be called by a new name is enough to make any adult take pause. One thing we grown-ups can envy about kids is their inherent freedom to be their real, authentic selves — no pretensions, no baggage. By the end of elementary school, of course, they’re well on their way to being squeezed through the ringer of social conditioning, and their families, teachers, mentors, coaches, and other trusted adults put the finishing touches on those rigid expectations that box them in: Boys play rough and are good with numbers. Girls dress up with makeup and heels and read books. Blah blah blah.

But Hailey’s young life goes way, way beyond those crummy norms, and her parents have created a safe, nurturing environment where she can live comfortably and have friends and lead a relatively normal life, sans Lisa Ling and her camera crew stopping by to document her story. And while Hailey’s mother and father have my utmost respect for their obvious love and patience and their empathy for their child’s uniqueness, I have to wonder if they’re doing the right thing for her.

Part of a parent’s job description is to guide, shape, prepare, and love our kids, so that means we’d be crazy to play into our children’s whims and phases and let them run the show (although I know plenty of liberal, free-swingin’ moms and dads who do). It’s one thing to give the middle finger to that traditional boy/girl baggage and let your kids defy social convention. It’s quite another to let them adopt a completely different lifestyle, assume a completely different identity, and take on a completely different name when they’re not even old enough to write in cursive. I would let my daughter pick out what she wanted to wear when she was 5. It was an exercise in choice, a show of independence. I would not, however, let her tell me that she no longer wanted to be a girl and accept her moves to not be one.

I don't believe that children have the tools and information they need to make informed, reasonable decisions about their lives. It’s the reason responsible parents don’t let their kids get tattoos when they’re 10 or why they’re not allowed to ring in their 12th birthday with a shot of Patron. So certainly creating a completely new personhood based on not feeling like the gender they were born into seems like too much control for someone who, at the age Hailey made her transgender declaration, shouldn’t even be crossing a busy street by themselves.

This could very well be one of those normal phases that a child goes through, but I’m not naïve enough to say with certainty that Hailey will grow up and out from the desire to live her life as a young woman. She may not, and that’s cool. There will be more challenges piled on top of the load of crap that's already the companion messiness of adolescence. But until then, I think her mom and dad need to step their parenting game up because in the process of “letting her be herself,” she may end up not finding her real self at all.

http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/116944/crazy_mom_lets_her_7yearold
  1. groups:
    Community,   US News,   LGBT,   News and Information,   1 more
  2. tags:
    Parenting,  Parents,  Transgender,  Parental Rights
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23 comments // Mom Lets 7-Year-Old Son Become a Girl (VIDEO) // Video

  • Shanekwa
    • +1
      Shanekwa  

    • Part of growing up is determining who you are and the life you want to lead. If Hailey feels so strongly about her identity, and if she has the strength and courage the actually BE the person she wants to be. More power to her. Regardless to how the parents react, this kid is going to the the person they want to be, I'm glad the parents are being open minded.

    • 1 year ago
  • GENERALNATTY
    • +1
      GENERALNATTY  

    • This is why the LGBT should not block scientific research into these issues , if scientists can figure out how to detect transgender child in the womb early they so they can develop a method to make sure that child is born the correct sex , no one can convince me that a transgender child is better off being transgender than being born the sex they know they are inside.

    • 1 year ago
  • Itsbatman_Durr
    • 0
      Itsbatman_Durr  
    • GENERALNATTY:

      its such a slippery slope and a gateway to engineering the 'gay out' though.. i mean if if you are talking about being the way they know they are 'inside' then its a feelings thing maybe working on emotional levels for some and dna just isnt the whole story, so if you saw why yes this child can go either way, how does one arbitrarily chose?

    • 1 year ago
  • div
    • 0
      div  
    • GENERALNATTY:

      But isn't it a bit unfair that we decide that someone with a penis must be a man and someone with a vagina must be a female? What if someone is certain that he is a man but is perfectly accepting of the vagina he has? Or what if the opposite is true?

      The people deciding how Things Must Be when it comes to genitalia are not the people who are actually going through these issues. I personally think we should stop trying to decide who is what sex or gender, period. Let people decide for themselves. That's really the only way that people will be happy or better off.

    • 1 year ago
  • GENERALNATTY
    • 0
      GENERALNATTY  
    • Itsbatman_Durr:

      The point is too discover the difference , what makes a person who they are to begin with , so its not a situation of making a arbitrary choice , there is some part of that childs programming telling her , that she is a her rather than a him , thats not just a manifestation of random emotions thats a physiological reality.

      Thats some part of the hardware (brain) telling the software (emotions) whats what , if scientists can see that the hardware is mismatched with the chromosomes or see that a chromosome may be damaged , if thats the case the choice would have to be made which one takes precedence the external physiological development of sexual organs or the internal one yet to be determined.

      Its really unknown whether its a slippery slope or not , we dont know what makes the difference between a regular homosexual individual who is simply attracted to the same sex and someone who has every fibre of their being telling them they are in the wrong body .

      Until its explored no one will know where the situation stands , but in the mean time there is clear collateral damage of the fear of exploring such things.

    • 1 year ago
  • GENERALNATTY
    • 0
      GENERALNATTY  
    • div:

      We are not making decisions about others sexuality , im suggesting that we explore the scientific angle so that it may be discovered what makes us all tick , in that sense we are not making a decision about anything , because we would have discovered facts about are sexuality as humans. Therefore we would not be making choices about others sexuality when we know what the reality is.

      If we can find a girl that is manifesting as a boy in the womb it may be possible to introduce hormones in the early stages to correct her physiological manifestation to fall in line with the sexuality he/she is to be born with.

      That scientific exploration could yield a multitude of different and beneficial information to help with a multitude of medical conditions children can be born with , we could possibly find ways to prevent children from being born deformed or with down syndrome or cerebral palsy , heart conditions etc.

      If we can create technology to more closely monitor children during pregnancy we could possibly be able to determine when mothers are abusing substance that are harming the baby during pregnancy , to ignore all these possiblitys because of a potential slippery slope when we dont know whats what as yet is just foolish.

    • 1 year ago
  • Itsbatman_Durr
  • div
    • 0
      div  
    • GENERALNATTY:

      I understand what you're saying, but it still feels like we'd be taking away a choice from a person who could be greatly affected by what we've chosen for them. I think it would be better for us to remove the stigma associated with not being "male" or "female." Let them - let us- all be people instead of necessarily and arbitrarily deciding.

    • 1 year ago
  • GENERALNATTY
    • +1
      GENERALNATTY  
    • div:

      i think we need to take the first step and look at how everything works and then make decisions based on our discoveries scientifically and then consult with transgender people and see what they think about the matter after all the facts have been put on the table.

    • 1 year ago
  • GENERALNATTY
  • Itsbatman_Durr
    • 0
      Itsbatman_Durr  
    • GENERALNATTY:

      yes exploration is great and needs to be done, as well as communication in order to foster understanding, but i feel the choice on any change should still be made by the individual, and not by someone like a doctor, group, panel or anyone who thinks they should decide for another whats best for them

    • 1 year ago
  • freedomforall234
  • danielle9157
  • Itsbatman_Durr
  • Schnookums
    • +2
      Schnookums  

    • It is obvious that the gay mafia with their agendas and brainwashing techniques got to this little girl very early. Parents be careful, anyone that holds your baby could be using their mind-meld technique to distort your child's brain to be one of them. They wont' rest until they've taken over the world!

      At this point, you've got no choice but to let this little girl be who she is. Better luck next time.......and be careful of the gay mind-melding brainwashing mafia agents.......we're everywhere!

    • 1 year ago
  • Itsbatman_Durr
  • Schnookums
    • 0
      Schnookums  
    • Itsbatman_Durr:

      :)
      No problem. But you wouldn't believe (or perhaps you would) that this very stupid argument has actually been used on me.......they were entirely convinced that being GLBT was the result of early brainwashing.

    • 1 year ago
  • Itsbatman_Durr
  • jubal
  • Schnookums
  • Schnookums
    • +1
      Schnookums  
    • jubal:

      Sorry, if you meant the second comment.......yes, I had someone tell me that babies and very young children can be brainwashed to be gay when they are older and that was probably my problem. She told me that if I had been baptized then God would have helped protect me, but all I could do now was submit to reprogramming and open my heart.....blah, blah, blah.

      She was a very ironic source on the dangers of brainwashing :)

      I tried not to laugh in front of her, but I'm sad to say that I failed.

    • 1 year ago
  • jubal
    • 0
      jubal  
    • Schnookums:

      I am bisexual, but I prefer to be with men. I knew this from the time I was very little, that I loved people...it wasn't sexual...it was falling in love. Unfortunately i was molested at age 12 by someone in their 30's, a man...and that changed my natural course of development. I used to think that it was the molestation that made me who I am, but I was already on my way and would be who I am regardless.

      Also there was that minor thing of the fact that the molestation wasn't painful, I actually liked it and found pleasure in it, but was terrified because of religion.

    • 1 year ago
  • extracrazykiwi2008
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