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Is God Imaginary?
2011 straight times he has not showed up! Those kind of numbers are Cal Ripken like as in consecutive games played.
Before I get any more of the holier than thou comments about it's not suppose to be Easter that God or Jesus is supposed to come back, let me say that, it is spread by believers he is coming back and we all better repent. So since you, that believe in the invisible man, what day is it?
Wasn't it Easter the day of resurrection, if it was the day when it happened the first time (Supposedly) it would only make sense out of the 365 days a year, that's the day he likes to come back on!
And hey, while I got your attention: I have been wondering my whole life of 59 years why aren't Christians more Christ like? Please explain your intolerance of so many things a real Jesus would have embraced!
I personally think that people are killing each other off because it has been 2011 years since he was last seen. What the hell is his problem anyway!
In The Beginning
In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. And the Earth
was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And Satan said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.
And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed,
and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good.
And Satan said, "There goes the neighborhood."
And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let
them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the
air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping
thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own
image; male and female created he them. And God looked upon Man and
Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.
And Satan said, "I know how I can get back in this game."
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent
And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.
And God created the healthful yoghurt, that woman might keep her
figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.
And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil
with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not
have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.
And Man gained another 20 pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought
forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center
into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.
And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in
cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And Satan created HMO's.
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