Same-sex couples eagerly await first day of Illinois civil unions

Paul Dombrowski and Joe Serio met in a bar, each dragged there by friends on a night when neither felt like going out. The two men had begun to give up hope of ever finding a soul mate — but that night, 15 years ago, changed everything.

As the years went by, the couple similarly lost hope in ever having their relationship recognized by the state of Illinois. That, too, will change June 2, the first day same-sex Illinois couples can enter into civil unions that will provide them with the same state-level rights as married couples.

Dombrowski and Serio will join 29 other couples in Millennium Park for a civil union ceremony that will be attended by friends, family and dignitaries like Gov. Pat Quinn, who signed the bill into law this year.

"This is something we never even were able to put in our dreams for our future," Dombrowski said. "We just kind of went with the fact that marriage or anything like it wasn't going to be a possibility. But now it's happening."

As of June 1, Illinois will be the sixth state that allows civil unions or their equivalent, and two other states — Hawaii and Delaware — have passed civil union laws that have not yet been enacted. Couples can get civil union licenses from county clerk offices on June 1 but, as with marriage licenses, must wait one day before holding a ceremony.

Cook County Clerk David Orr said he expects a large crowd June 1. "I think there are lots of people that plan to get their license the first day. I think a lot of people will be down there even if they aren't getting their license, just to be part of the fanfare."

Orr said licenses will be available at all five of the clerk's suburban offices as well as the downtown site, which will feature food, gifts and drawings.

"It's going to be a festive occasion," he said. "Hopefully the festivities will help in case there are long lines. We only have about 20 windows down there, so we're going to do our best to staff up."

The licenses will cost $35, the same as a marriage license. Straight couples who don't want to be married but do want the legal protections a civil union provides are also expected to take advantage of the law.

Advocates of gay and lesbian rights say the civil union law is a historic moment worthy of celebration, but they stress that it in no way marks the end of their work.

"I'm thrilled that this has become a reality in Illinois," said Rick Garcia, an activist who spent years fighting for the civil union law. "It is not marriage and it is not the same as marriage, even though opponents like to say it is. Nonetheless, real couples, real families need rights, and they need them now, so this is a good step."

Opponents of civil unions here and across the country have long said that such arrangements create a "slippery slope" that could lead to the legalization of same-sex marriage. And gay rights advocates do little to dispute that claim.

Camilla Taylor, an attorney with Lambda Legal in Chicago, a group that helped draft Illinois' civil union bill, said full marriage rights are the end goal, and she expects that having civil unions will highlight some of the problems of creating a separate, marriagelike classification.

"It's not sufficient to segregate same-sex couples into an inferior status," Taylor said. "One of the big problems with doing that is it invites private bias. It sends a message that the government considers these families inferior in some way."

The next step for advocates in Illinois will be deciding whether to pursue full marriage rights through a legislative process or a judicial one.

"'How do you get to marriage from here?' is a question that varies from state to state," Taylor said. "Approximately half the jurisdictions that enjoy marriage equality have done so by legislation, and the other half have achieved marriage through court action."

Robert Gilligan, executive director of the Catholic Conference of Illinois, said he believes opponents of same-sex marriage would prevail if the matter were put to a vote.

"If people have the chance to vote on this issue, I am confident that the people will choose that marriage is a union between one man and one woman," Gilligan said. "If it's left to the court, we're concerned. We've seen in other states that oftentimes when civil unions became same-sex marriage, it's done through the judicial process."

Gilligan said the civil union law has already raised questions over whether religious groups that handle adoptions could be sued if they turn away same-sex couples.

"Children are best in a home with a mother and a father, and that's the way we have operated since Catholic Charities began," he said. "The law is not in conformity with our practice, and that creates a problem."

But for couples like Melissa Bert and Melissa Salisbury, the law creates an opportunity they have never had before. Bert is pregnant and due in August. She and Salisbury hope to have a civil union ceremony in June, which will allow Salisbury's name to be on the child's birth certificate along with Bert's.

"It's our shotgun wedding," Bert joked. "But really, it means so much. In August, my partner can put her name on the birth certificate. It will show that we're the parents, that we're in this from day one together."

The couple have been together for six years and held a wedding ceremony in Wisconsin three years ago. That wedding carried emotional significance but wasn't recognized by either Wisconsin or Illinois, so the civil union here will be a way to get the rights they previously couldn't access.

"We look at it, at least from the emotional standpoint, that we made that commitment years ago," Bert said. "This is just validating it, at least in the eyes of the state."

The group The Civil Rights Agenda plans to host another cluster of civil union celebrations June 3 at the Chicago History Museum. Anthony Martinez, the group's executive director, said about 30 couples had signed up, reflecting the widespread enthusiasm he has seen in the city's lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.

"From what we see, there are some people who are now planning their ceremonies and are waiting until they can send out invitations and whatnot," Martinez said. "But a lot of people want to be there right away, as soon as they possibly can. We know couples who are very excited about and want to be part of this historic moment."

That's the case for Angelica Lopez and Claudia Mercado, who will be another couple at the Millennium Park civil union event, hosted by the city's Advisory Council on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Issues. They've been together nearly 14 years, have a 2-year-old and are expecting another child in November, so they have nothing to prove to each other regarding the strength of their commitment.

"We know what our relationship is and what it means to us," Mercado said. "But this is a great opportunity for those that live in the state to be able to acknowledge that we do have a legitimate relationship and to be able to get recognition for the 13 1/2 years we've been together as a committed couple."



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