Parents keep child’s gender under wraps
source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110524/ts_yblog_thelookout/parents-keep-childs-ge...
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- Schnookums
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But the email sent recently by Kathy Witterick and David Stocker of Toronto, Canada to announce the birth of their baby, Storm, was missing one important piece of information. "We've decided not to share Storm's sex for now--a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime (a more progressive place? ...)," it said.
That's right. They're not saying whether Storm is a boy or a girl.
There's nothing ambiguous about the baby's genitals. But as Stocker puts it: "If you really want to get to know someone, you don't ask what's between their legs." So only the parents, their two other children (both boys), a close friend, and the two midwives who helped deliver the now 4-month-old baby know its gender. Even the grandparents have been left in the dark.
Stocker and Witterick say the decision gives Storm the freedom to choose who he or she wants to be. "What we noticed is that parents make so many choices for their children. It's obnoxious," adds Stocker, a teacher at an alternative school.
They say that kids receive messages from society that encourage them to fit into existing boxes, including with regard to gender. "We thought that if we delayed sharing that information, in this case hopefully, we might knock off a couple million of those messages by the time that Storm decides Storm would like to share," says Witterick.
"In fact, in not telling the gender of my precious baby, I am saying to the world, 'Please can you just let Storm discover for him/herself what s (he) wants to be?!." she wrote in an email.
How did Stocker and Witterick decide to keep Storm's gender under wraps? During Witterick's pregnancy, her son Jazz was having "intense" experiences with his own gender. "I was feeling like I needed some good parenting skills to support him through that," Witterick said.
Stocker came across a book from 1978, titled X: A Fabulous Child's Story by Lois Gould. X is raised as neither a boy or girl, and grows up to be a happy and well-adjusted child.
"It became so compelling it was almost like, How could we not?" Witterick said.
The couple's other two children, Jazz and Kio, haven't escaped their parents' unconventional approach to parenting. Though they're only 5 and 2, they're allowed to pick out their own clothes in the boys and girls sections of stores and decide whether to cut their hair or let it grow.
Both boys are "unschooled," a version of homeschooling, which promotes putting a child's curiosity at the center of his or her education. As Witterick puts it, it's "not something that happens by rote from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. weekdays in a building with a group of same-age people, planned, implemented and assessed by someone else."
Because Jazz and Kio wear pink and have long hair, they're frequently assumed to be girls, according to Stocker. He said he and Witterick don't correct people--they leave it to the kids to do it if they want to.
But Stocker and Witterick's choices haven't always made life easy for their kids. Though Jazz likes dressing as a girl, he doesn't seem to want to be mistaken for one. He recently asked his mother to let the leaders of a nature center know that he's a boy. And he chose not to attend a conventional school because of the questions about his gender. Asked whether that upsets him, Jazz nodded.
As for his mother, she's not giving up the crusade against the tyranny of assigned gender roles. "Everyone keeps asking us, 'When will this end?'" she said. "And we always turn the question back. Yeah, when will this end? When will we live in a world where people can make choices to be whoever they are?"
(Baby Storm: Steve Russell/The Toronto Star)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110524/ts_yblog_thelookout/parents-ke...
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jamjaminyourmouth
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Anyone who has a problem with this is an Ass, and your letting the world know by doing so. Society and civilization has put way to much stigma on being androgynous. This sick need thats been built into our minds to put people in boxes or categories is ridiculous! The idea that anyone "has" to be girl or "has to be a boy is blatant ignorance and fear. I am proud to say that i haven't been dumb enough to let T.v, a magazine, or gender roles stop me from being who ever i dam well please. Of direct cause of this "i know who i am". Most of you would be much better off and more uniquely opinionated if your parents had done the same with you.
- 12 months ago
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jamjaminyourmouth
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good_stuff
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This is rediculous. The only logical explaination is that the the child was born as a hermie, and they don't want to say for sure that it will identify as a particular sex at this point, for fear that it may switch later.
It is silly though, because now people will refer to the baby as "it" instead of her or him. I also feel like they should write (s)he instead of s(he).
- 12 months ago
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good_stuff
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SGNY
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Honestly, I really do not understand this. I understand that they're trying to keep their child from gender stereo types and all that, and I can appreciate that. But, by the time he or she learns "what s(he) wants to be" the child will already know what he or she is, in terms of gender (if you're aware enough to discover what you want to be, chances are you're aware enough to know what's happening in your pants).
I wish the parents and the child well, and I hope they accomplish their goals in a way that doesn't hurt the child or their other children in the process. I think Storm will be alright in the long run, and with all due respect, I just don't get it.
- 12 months ago
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SGNY
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Schnookums
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I like this because it messes with people's heads about gender. The child in question is likely to not perceive the experiment, so it's just fun to play with other people's minds. Perhaps some will even choose to expand their thinking on the subject.....
- 1 year ago
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Schnookums
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GENERALNATTY
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Schnookums:
"the child in question is likely to not perceive the experiment"
No but the child in question will perceive the results of the experiment, the older boy had to be pulled from school because he was upset about the misperception of his gender and is now home schooled or "unschooled" missing out on valuable social interaction and development.
I think messing with people's heads is far less important than the welfare of these children.
- 1 year ago
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GENERALNATTY
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Almibry
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So what? Voted down.
- 1 year ago
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Almibry
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GENERALNATTY
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The whole thing smacks of attention whoring to me, its one thing to let your son play with a barbie doll and your daughter to drive a tonka truck its another to confuse kids about there identity, whats all the hoopla about keeping the gender secret?
Its very simple people have a need to establish their identity, not doing so will cause a preoccupation with the issues surrounding that and give kids unnecessary psychological issues.
Making the other children have to keep baby storm's gender a secret themselves is wrong and unhealthy, chances are their whole social experiment has gone too hell already anyhow, now its in the media that secret wont be kept secret for long.
The grandparents have been left in the dark? So this couple wont allow their own mothers to change the babies diaper? weird.
My son has been raised as a boy, he wears boy clothes, he has long beautiful hair that he made the decision not to cut, but he gets upset when he is mistaken for a girl because of it as the vast majority of children with a masculine biology would, but quickly asserts himself because he knows what he is and when he didn't know how to dress to project the image of who he is and his biology we did that for him. it's called parenting and its a balance of freedoms, restrictions and responsibilities.
The social norms about gender is not something that developed over time but rather a reflection of our biology i think that allowing the effeminization of masculine children does a great disservice to them, the older child told his parents that he was a boy and is confused as too why this idea is not accepted, clearly even after the child asserted his masculinity the parents did not help him as what to do to reflect that, thats just bad parenting.
I've heard a lot of women start to complain that men are acting like girls nowadays, there was a time when telling a man he needs to be in touch with his feminine side was just a joke, i think this is a wake up call to let men be men.
- 1 year ago
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GENERALNATTY
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Persecuted
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spoiler alert... thats a boy
- 1 year ago
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Persecuted
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Leen61
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I support the rights of all LGBTG people as well, but I take issue with this. I don't have kids but what I've read here in the story it seems this is to much pressure on the kids. It says right in the article that the one boy doesn't want to be mistaken for a girl. The same boy said he don't attend a conventional school because of questions about his gender. He said the questions upset him. That tells me all I need to know. I think this goes a little too far.
- 1 year ago
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Leen61
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eternal_springs
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I think this is really cool! From the very beginning too many people will treat a child according to gender. I love the fact that the grandparents don't even know!!
Storm will be able to discover what he/she really enjoys without the strains of "oh, that's only for boys," or "oh, that's only for girls." A child should be allowed to grow and learn without prejudice.
- 1 year ago
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eternal_springs
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iowawashington
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I strongly support the rights of LGBTG people, but I think this may be going a step too far. I can't imagine putting my children in the front lines of the culture war ON PURPOSE. I make my own political statements, and hope to shield my children from struggles like this as long as possible.
- 1 year ago
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iowawashington
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sam_jamison
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I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.
It's my right as a man.
I want to have babies.
It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
- 1 year ago
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sam_jamison
