Three Things from Rick Perry About Last Night
source: http://www.borowitzreport.com
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- Hardytoo
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Dear American:
Okay, lookit, there are three things I forgot to mention last night.
Firstly, you should never drink before a debate. Right after that danged thing was over I had to stick my head in the porcelain throne and that lawn gnome Ron Paul had to hold my hair. This morning my head hurts like it was hit with a hammer in one of those movies with Larry, Curly, and… Larry, Curly, and what’s the other one? Ah, shit.
Now here’s B: the American people have to decide what’s worse, forgetting which agencies you plan to get rid of or forgetting which ladies you tried to nail when you were running the National Restaurant Association. I can tell you this, if somebody asked me if I remembered who I’d sexually harassed I could sure as shit tell you their names. But please don’t ask me that.
And finally, number 3: what the hell was number 3 again? I’ve got it on the tip of my tongue. Nope, I’ve lost it. Oops.
Vote for me,
Rick Perry
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- Vierotchka
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Paratus
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I have no problem with Perrys brain freeze. Stuff happens. He can speak without a teleprompter, can laugh at himself and doesn't think there are 57 states. He is just human.
- 7 months ago
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Paratus
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MotherForTruth
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Sad to see all the clowns lineup in the latest GOP debate. The only one who gave strait answers was Ron Paul.
- 7 months ago
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MotherForTruth
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JCSAtx71
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I had a gut feeling that his own inability to sound like he had a brain under all the layers of hardened hairspray would be his own undoing; I had just hoped it wouldn't even take him this damn long.
But like the adage so blissfully goes, "Better late than never," I guess.
- 7 months ago
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JCSAtx71
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Joeydee44
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LOL. Especially the part about the lawn gnome.
- 7 months ago
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Joeydee44
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EdJoyProductions
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tym0MObFpTI
Even the inquisitors seem more prepared than Perry. :D - 7 months ago
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EdJoyProductions
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EdJoyProductions
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LOL, Vote for me, Rick, ummm, uh, wait, wait, don't tell me. It starts with a P.
- 7 months ago
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EdJoyProductions
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Leen61
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Loved Jon Stewart's take on this last night!
- 7 months ago
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Leen61
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Johnny_Los_Angeles
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"I would shut down the........ Dept of Education secondly and thirdly .... and..... and .... oops!"
-maybe morons shouldnt be talking about shutting down the Dept of Education....... - 7 months ago
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Johnny_Los_Angeles
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alexandrek [removed]
- This comment was removed by its owner.
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alexandrek [removed]
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Hardytoo
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alexandrek:
HA!! good one.
- 7 months ago
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Hardytoo
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bike10
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Going, going, GONE.
- 7 months ago
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bike10
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Hardytoo
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bike10:
Will he understand? That's 3 things....
- 7 months ago
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Hardytoo
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Hardytoo
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I'm so happy that every one of you got a chuckle today. With all the awful stuff going on, we all need a few good ones.
Thanks again Andy Borowitz. - 7 months ago
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Hardytoo
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kalamama
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Hardytoo:
And Thanks to you for putting this up here Hardytoo!
- 7 months ago
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kalamama
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Hardytoo
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kalamama:
Hey Ms 'Mama - glad you enjoyed it - we all need to smile and thank our stars he's almost "done."
- 7 months ago
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Hardytoo
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kalamama
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Hardytoo:
Oh, he's done alright. I just think he's too stupid to get it.
In the meanwhile, he does give a good laugh. And yes....We ALL do need a good smile.
Thanks for the "tap". :-) - 7 months ago
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kalamama
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faye59
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Very, very funny.Thanks. Talk about a public meltdown.
- 7 months ago
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faye59
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Progresshiv
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhDhDRvHaGs&feature=player_embedded
Ice cream is cheap. That is fact!
- 7 months ago
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Progresshiv
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Hardytoo
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Progresshiv:
Fantastic stuff, 'Shiv.
Love it (and love ice cream too). - 7 months ago
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Hardytoo
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coraj [removed]
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Dumb.
Dumber.
Dumbest. - 7 months ago
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coraj [removed]
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coraj [removed]
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Dumb.
Dumber.
Dumbest. - 7 months ago
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coraj [removed]
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SFirman
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Perry did it again, made an a-- of himself. He's such a joke and he thinks he can debate the president
- 7 months ago
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SFirman
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cherry5000
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SFirman:
rick perry made me laugh!!!
- 7 months ago
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cherry5000
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SFirman
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cherry5000:
Me to Cherry!
- 7 months ago
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SFirman
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faye59
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SFirman:
It would definitely be entertaining.
- 7 months ago
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faye59
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SFirman
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faye59:
It sure would Faye.
- 7 months ago
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SFirman
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Hardytoo
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SFirman:
Oh, that would be so painful, soooo embarrassing.
- 7 months ago
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Hardytoo
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kalamama
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SFirman:
Perry couldn't debate my dig!
But....He is a source of amusement. :-)
- 7 months ago
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kalamama
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SFirman
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Hardytoo:
But Funny Hardytoo.
- 7 months ago
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SFirman
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SFirman
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kalamama:
I agree.
- 7 months ago
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SFirman
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VoyagerFilms
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We'll coin a new or not so new expression, pRick Perry had a "Bush moment"
- 7 months ago
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VoyagerFilms
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HarukoHaruhara
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When you graduate from Texas A&M with a 1.9 GPA, it's hard to count to three....
- 7 months ago
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HarukoHaruhara
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coraj [removed]
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HarukoHaruhara:
Coraj says, " I can't freakin' stop laughing."
- 7 months ago
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coraj [removed]
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coraj [removed]
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HarukoHaruhara:
Coraj says, " I can't freakin' stop laughing. Someone put a bag over my head. Wait ....there already is one."
- 7 months ago
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coraj [removed]
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coraj [removed]
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HarukoHaruhara:
Coraj says, " I can't freakin' stop laughing."
- 7 months ago
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coraj [removed]
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Hardytoo
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HarukoHaruhara:
I heard one commentator say today that Perry will be fine as president as long as he only has 2 things to remember.
I just find it pure enjoyment that he's in this primary race (I'd run away screaming in horror if he ever was nominated but he won't be, and I'm getting excellent entertainment watching his stupidity - 1.9GPA?????? Holy COW. Wonder who he paid to let him graduate.....) - 7 months ago
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Hardytoo
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HarukoHaruhara
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Hardytoo:
I didn't make that up ... 1.9 GPA. That's not even a "C" average.
- 7 months ago
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HarukoHaruhara
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EarnestT
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When I steal the Presidency I will abolish 3 offices in Government,er 4,er,5,no 3. Commerce,Education and uh,er,uh,what`s that other one,OH YEAH the office of President that`s it! I will singlehanded,uh,ly rewrite the Constipation,er Constitution,yeah that`s it,oops. I ain`t sure Ya`ll but I may have the terminal Alzhomers or I had too much Kick-A-Poo Joy Juice afore this here debacle,er,debate,oops,yeah that`s it. Don`t matter no how cause once I`m Emperor,er,oops,President I`ll just do what I want,er,oops,i mean what the Koch Bros. tell me,er,oops,no that ain`t it,oops,BURP! scuse me ya`ll I gotta go see a man about a brain transplant,er,oops,nope that ain`t it! Where`s the Beef!
- 7 months ago
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EarnestT
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Hardytoo
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EarnestT:
I think you have him figured out, ET - what a hoot!!!
- 7 months ago
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Hardytoo
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Lisayou
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AHHH Rick You crack me up.
- 7 months ago
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Lisayou
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Leen61
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LMAO! This was a great laugh to end my work day on! I do have a question--Is he really this stupid or toasted? We hear about what a master campaigner he is. Is he trying to appeal to the dumb ass part of the electorate that helped put Bush in the WH twice?
- 7 months ago
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Leen61
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VoyagerFilms
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Leen61:
Yes, it did work for Bush, didn't it!?
- 7 months ago
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VoyagerFilms
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Leen61
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VoyagerFilms:
It sure did, VoyagerFilms!
- 7 months ago
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Leen61
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letsliveinpeace
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http://current.com/community/93535049_debate-in-100-seconds-out-of-gas.htm
Debate In 100 Seconds: Out Of Gas - 7 months ago
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letsliveinpeace
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VoyagerFilms
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letsliveinpeace:
What a bunch of buffoons!
- 7 months ago
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VoyagerFilms
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crob80231
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Perry/Snooki 2012!
No....The Situation for VP. Perry can focus in on banning abortion and putting Jesus on the $100 bill while The Situation and handle foreign issues like China's currencey manipulation and the Greek Debt Crisis.
GTL Greece, GTL!
- 7 months ago
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crob80231
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Buckeye_Bill
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Hello, my fellow Texans, er...Americans, I'm Prick Parry.
Now, which one of the three rings of this circus am I supposed to be performing in again?
One? Naaa. Two? Nopers. Oh, that's right! The THIRD ONE!
I forgot.
- 7 months ago
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Buckeye_Bill
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jackhole
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Buckeye_Bill:
Shouldn't that be Prick Tarry?
- 7 months ago
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jackhole
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Buckeye_Bill
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jackhole:
Hey! Current's back on line again!
I used the spelling of his last name that Stephen Colbert has suggested....Parry. I used creative license for the first name spelling.
I'll bet Mr. Parry is glad the Texas "Two-step" doesn't have a third one or he'd forget how to dance!
Allemande left and an allemande right!
LMAO!
}8^)
- 7 months ago
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Buckeye_Bill
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Littlewolf
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Buckeye_Bill:
Wahoo! I loved it! +^d! Just what I needed! LMAO once again - thanks!
- 7 months ago
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Littlewolf
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EarnestT
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jackhole:
Nope ya`ll is both wrong it`s Rick"The Wack-A-Doodle from Waco" Perry,King of the Pecos,and Commander and Chief of the West Texas order of the Grand Dragons of the G.DUH-Bya fan club!
Jesus Herald Christ In Hipwaders this guy is so stupid he makes DUH-Bya look like a Rhodes Scholar!
Rick Perry,God,Guns,and more Duh than DUH-BYA!
- 7 months ago
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EarnestT
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Hardytoo
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Buckeye_Bill:
Oh Bill - we used to sing this song in highschool - and coming from a farming community where we went to rodeos when it was freezing cold (and the heater in the truck was busted as usual), this really takes me back - and kids will laugh at the most foul stuff available (including us big kids)- it's as hilarious now as it was then. Thanks, I REALLY needed that.
- 7 months ago
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Hardytoo
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attilatheblond
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Thanks for bringing a much needed smile.
- 7 months ago
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attilatheblond
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wynnmeg61
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I wouldn't count out Mr. Perry quite yet, the absolute foolishness of the majority of the American electorate know no bounds. I am sad to say it but honestly Americans have been the silliest bunch on the planet for many a decade.
- 7 months ago
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wynnmeg61
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Hardytoo
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Texas Toast???
- 7 months ago
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Hardytoo
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Wyley_Wombat
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Hardytoo:
No, Texas Turd !
- 7 months ago
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Wyley_Wombat
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EarnestT
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Wyley_Wombat:
That`s Texas Tick Turd,and smile when ya say that BUB!
- 7 months ago
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EarnestT
