Community | December 16, 2011 | 16 comments

One year later, the Force is strong in Katie

source: http://geekout.blogs.cnn.com/2011/12/16/one-year-later-the-force-is-strong-in-katie/?hpt=hp_c1

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ArtBaron
Most days, Katie Goldman’s life is like any other 8-year-old's. But every so often, there's a reminder of the time one year ago, when schoolyard teasing made her a Star Wars celebrity, when she became a symbol of geeks done wrong - and how to make things right.

Sometimes the reminders are simple, like when a new girl showed up in class, spied Katie’s Star Wars backpack and water bottle, and within days, felt comfortable enough to show her own nerd pride.

Sometimes, it's heart-tugging, like at GeekGirlCon, when a brigade of Storm Troopers formed an honor guard, a line of protection - for Katie.

And sometimes, it's huge, like today: Wear Star Wars, Share Star Wars Day, a celebration of geekdom and giving that was inspired by Katie's story.

Last year, Katie wanted to hide away her Star War wear after her classmates teased that Star Wars was just for boys. Her mother, heartbroken for her daughter, blogged about the experience. It flew across blogs, social media and news sites, along with the Twitter hashtag #maytheforcebewithkatie. The grown-up geek community knew Katie's pain, and responded with thousands of supportive comments, plus donations of toys, clothes and books, many of which went to students at Katie’s school.


It became Wear Star Wars, Share Star Wars Day, and this year, thousands on Facebook promised to show off their Star Wars fandom and donate merchandise for kids. At Katie’s school in Illinois, they call it Proud To Be Me Day, and kids are encouraged to show off what they love and what makes them unique.

"But some things are permanently different," said Carrie Goldman, Katie's mom.

Katie's entire school has embraced anti-bullying techniques that involve teaching kids to respect what makes everyone different, to understand that kids who bully others can also be victims.

Just as Katie has learned to defend girls who like Star Wars, she defended a boy at a birthday party who said he wanted his nails painted like the girls there.

“[Katie has] internalized how completely OK it is to do what you want to do,” Goldman said.



It’s changed life for her mom, too. Last year, when Goldman first shared Katie’s story on her blog, Portrait of an Adoption, it mostly served a small adoption community. Thousands of page views and comments later, she said, the audience has grown.

That means Goldman is more careful when sharing stories about her kids, although she still shows updates of Katie in her Princess Leia costume, or her homemade R2-D2 cake.

“She’s a self-conscious girl. People will approach her and say, ‘Are you Star Wars Katie?’ and she gets shy,” Goldman said. “I ask myself before every story I write, ‘How will Katie feel about this one day?’ I think that’s good and healthy.”

Goldman now writes more about broader parenting and adoption issues, and is writing a book about bullying. It's based on research and interviews, Goldman said, but includes the story of Katie, the wise ways her school reacted and the tremendous ways the Star Wars community responded. “Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher, and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear” will be published next summer by Harper Collins.

And even a year after Katie's story hit the Internet, the Goldmans stay in touch with the geek girls who first shared the story and encouraged Katie's Star Wars fandom. Katie got the message – “loud and clear,” Goldman said – that she's safe to pursue what inspires and excites her.

“I know, every now and then, I’ll get a note of support,” Goldman said. “ ‘How’s Katie doing? We’re still thinking of her.’ ”

And that old backpack of Katie's? It's frayed, cracked and falling apart, but Katie carries it to school every single day.

http://geekout.blogs.cnn.com/2011/12/16/one-year-later-the-force-is-strong-in-ka...
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16 comments // One year later, the Force is strong in Katie

  • zampano
  • ArtBaron
    • +1
      ArtBaron [removed]  
    • zampano:

      I am a sucker for a positive story with a happy ending of good trumpeting evil.
      :)

      It took awhile for the little girl and it is a story of will and patience with people speaking up against what is clearly wrong.

    • 5 months ago
  • ArtBaron
  • artemis6
  • ArtBaron
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      ArtBaron [removed]  
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    • Kids

      Bullying is when kids hurt or scare other kids on purpose.
      Bullying can hurt everyone.
      Kids who are bullied sometimes have a hard time standing up for themselves.

      This site can help you figure out what you can do:

      Are You Being Bullied?Nobody likes to be picked on. What can you do?

      Speak up against bullying. Say something like, “stop it.”
      Walk away. Act like you do not care, even if you really do.
      Tell an adult you trust. They may have ideas about what you can do.
      Stick together. Staying with a group might help.

      Things to remember...
      You are not alone.
      It is not your fault. Nobody should be bullied!
      Talk to someone you trust.
      Do not hurt yourself.
      Do not bully back. Do not bully anyone else.
      Do not let the bully win. Keep doing what you love to do

      Has Someone Called You a Bully? Think about what you are doing.

      If someone did the same thing to you, would you be hurt?
      Remember that making others feel bad is wrong.
      Know that everyone is different, but different does not mean better or worse.
      Try getting to know others who are not like you. You may find out, you are more alike than you think.
      Talk to an adult you trust. They may have good ideas about what you can do to stop the bullying

      Have You Seen Bullying?

      You can help stop the bullying. Next time you see someone being bullied, try one (or more) of these ideas:

      If it is safe, speak up. Say something like, “Stop it!”
      Tell an adult. Kids who are being bullied are sometimes scared to tell an adult. That is where you come in--tell an adult who you trust, like your teacher or coach. You can tell them in person or leave them a note.
      Be a friend to the person who is being bullied. You can still help the kid who is being bullied:
      Talk with them.
      Sit with them at lunch.
      Play with them at recess.
      Set a good example. Do not bully others

      http://www.stopbullying.gov/kids/

    • 5 months ago
  • zampano
  • ArtBaron
  • CalgarC
  • ArtBaron
  • ArtBaron
    • +2
      ArtBaron [removed]  
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    • Friday, December 16, 2011

      When I first shared the story of Katie, the girl who was teased for her Star Wars water bottle, you Epbot readers blew me away with your immediate and resounding tidal wave of support. It remains one of the most inspiring things to have ever happened on this blog.

      Well, today is "Wear Star Wars, Share Star Wars" Day - a day Katie and her mom Carrie created for geeks everywhere to wear their scifi or geek t-shirts proudly, and also to donate a geek toy to charity (making it clear that the toy is for either a boy OR a girl). Because this isn't a day just for Star Wars fans; it's for fans of all types.

      Which is why today is also the perfect day for me to introduce you to 6-year-old Bryden:

      Actually, I'll let her mom Rachel do it:

      "I am a life-long trekkie and just introduced my daughter to the original Star Trek series this summer. She absolutely fell in love with the show, and Mr. Spock in particular. When I asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween, she said Mr. Spock. I responded that we could easily make her a Vulcan costume. She quickly corrected me and said not just any Vulcan...but Mr. Spock.

      "So I went to work fashioning a Mr. Spock costume for my 6-year old daughter. Who cares if it's a male character? Who cares if none of the other kids at school will have any clue about who Spock is? She wants to be Mr. Spock and I was super proud.

      "Of course, being Mr. Spock was a bit of a learning experience for my daughter. After a full day at school in her costume, she told me that it was hard to keep explaining who Spock was. Only the teachers had any clue what Star Trek was, and several kids made fun of her for being a character that was a boy. I even overheard one of the teachers saying she looked 'weird' in her costume. That comment nearly brought out the protective lioness in me, but I settled for a sharp glare.

      "After the day was done, my daughter seemed to regret her costume choice. I reminded her that she picked the costume because it was a character she liked and that is all that mattered. I also told her that I thought she was super cool and I know there were thousands of people out there that would think she was a super cool kid for picking Mr. Spock as her Halloween costume.

      I just wanted to share my pics with someone who would appreciate them. It's tough being a girly geek when your regular friends don't appreciate things the same way you do. Thanks for writing Epbot, it makes me feel not so alone in my interests."

      --------------------------

      It's e-mails like this that make me so stinkin' proud to know all of you. I hear pretty often that I help make being a geek girl seem perfectly "normal," as if it's nothing to think twice about or have to defend - and that's because it is. However, sadly, there are people out there who still haven't gotten the memo.

      Look, I'm an optimist. I prefer to dwell on the positive rather than the negative. Stories like Katie's and Bryden's inspire me, because the next generation [smirk] is expressing themselves in ways I never did at their age. They know what they love, and they want to share those things. That, my friends, is AWESOME.

      Now, could we gripe about the judgmental teacher and insensitive classmates? Sure. We could write long articles about bullying, and decry the cruelty of childhood, etc., etc - and certainly those things have their place.

      Or...

      We could drown out the negative with a rushing tidal wave of positive. We could make Bryden our Hero of the Week. We could share her picture with all the other little girls we know. We could tell our friends about her, and remember her example any time we're tempted to feel embarrassed about the things we love.

      And most importantly? We can tell Bryden that her costume wasn't "weird," it was amazing. We can show her that she just earned herself her own personal fan club. We can share our own stories of costumes and passions and reassure her that she's not alone, because we geeks - girls and guys alike - we stick together.

      Here, I'll start:

      Bryden, you rock. Your costume rocks. And, speaking as a life-long Trekker, I would be proud to call you my friend. I hope to bump into you at a convention someday, but 'til then: live long and prosper! (And please tell your mom she's awesome, too.)

      http://www.epbot.com/

    • 5 months ago
  • ArtBaron
  • ArtBaron
  • ArtBaron
    • +2
      ArtBaron [removed]  
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    • Anti-Bullying Starts in First Grade

      Like so many others, I have been reading with dismay about the recent victims of bullying, and I ache inside for the pain these young people have experienced.

      I have often thought of bullying as a problem that faces children older than mine, but a recent conversation with my first grader has given me pause. Maybe it starts right here, right now with our little ones.

      At summer's end, Katie and I went to Target to pick out her backpack, lunchbox and water bottle for the new school year. After great deliberation, she chose a Star Wars water bottle to match her Star Wars backpack.

      Katie loves Star Wars, and she was very excited about her new items. For the first few months of school, she proudly filled her water bottle herself and helped me pack her lunch each morning.

      But a week ago, as we were packing her lunch, Katie said, "My Star Wars water bottle is too small. It doesn't hold enough water. Can I take a different one?" She searched through the cupboard until she found a pink water bottle and said, "I'll bring this."

      I was perplexed. "Katie, that water bottle is no bigger than your Star Wars one. I think it is actually smaller."

      "It's fine, I'll just take it," she insisted.

      I kept pushing the issue, because it didn't make sense to me. Suddenly, Katie burst into tears.

      She wailed, "The first grade boys are teasing me at lunch because I have a Star Wars water bottle. They say it's only for boys. Every day they make fun of me for drinking out of it. I want them to stop, so I'll just bring a pink water bottle."

      I hugged her hard and felt my heart sink. Such a tender young age, and already she is embarrassed about the water bottle that brought her so much excitement and joy a few months ago.

      Is this how it starts? Do kids find someone who does something differently and start to beat it out of her, first with words and sneers? Must my daughter conform to be accepted?

      The confusing part for me is that I know these first grade boys. I can't simply see them as random mean boys bullying my baby. They are good kids individually, and Katie often plays happily with them.

      But when you put the boys together in a pack, maybe they start to feel vulnerable and insecure, which causes them to do unkind things, such as tease my daughter for carrying a Star Wars water bottle.

      Maybe they do it to get laughs out of each other. Maybe they do it because if they are busy teasing Katie, nobody will tease one of them. Maybe they do it because they want her attention and have limited social skills at this age.

      "Katie, it is okay to be different. Not all girls need to drink out of pink water bottles," I told her.

      "I don't want to be too different," Katie lamented. "I'm already different. Nobody else in my class wears glasses or a patch, and nobody else was adopted. Now I'm even more different, because of my Star Wars water bottle."

      Katie cannot control the fact that she is different due to adoption or poor eyesight. But she can control what accessories she carries to school, and she is trying to exercise that control. She has learned that there are degrees of being different, and she wants to minimize how different she is.

      Being different is a complicated topic. We say that we celebrate diversity, and we preach tolerance. But at the same time, we as adults are often fearful of those who are different. I see people tease each other for being gay or poor or overweight. I see grown-ups bullying others for holding different religious and political beliefs.

      I see people publicly lauding diversity and privately attacking those who are different.

      It trickles down to kids teasing each other for the types of toys they prefer. So it starts now, with a couple first graders and a water bottle. Right here, right now, we as a community need to recognize the slippery slope of bullying those who are different. We need to show our support for each other's choices, as long as they do no harm.

      I talked to Katie about all my musings. Talking about it is the best defense. I have urged her to bring the Star Wars water bottle if that is what she really wants to do, even if it makes her different. Today, she felt brave enough to bring it. I hope that she is able to eat her lunch without feeling nervous.

      I would love to be able to show Katie that she is not alone, that other females appreciate Star Wars. If there are any female Star Wars fans reading this, please feel free to show your support for Katie. I will let her read your messages or comments, and I think she will be surprised by what I suspect is a vast number of female fans.

      And if you have a little boy out there who wants to carry a pink water bottle, tell him about Katie and reassure him that if she can carry a "boy" water bottle, he can carry a "girl" water bottle. Let's help all our kids grow into confident adults who can appreciate being different.

      http://www.chicagonow.com/portrait-of-an-adoption/2010/11/anti-bullying-starts-i...

    • 5 months ago
  • ArtBaron
    • +2
      ArtBaron [removed]  
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    • Young Girl Bullied For Liking Star Wars

      Recently, columnist and mom Carrie Goldman wrote an essay in Chicago Now about bullying in schools and why parents should start teaching their children as soon as 1st grade how to deal with being bullied. She spoke from the heart, not just because it’s an issue all parents must grapple with, but because her own young daughter Katie was being bullied FOR LIKING STAR WARS!?!
      Here’s the excerpt from her article Anti-Bullying Starts in First Grade:

      She wailed, “The first grade boys are teasing me at lunch because I have a Star Wars water bottle. They say it’s only for boys. Every day they make fun of me for drinking out of it. I want them to stop, so I’ll just bring a pink water bottle.”
      I hugged her hard and felt my heart sink. Such a tender young age, and already she is embarrassed about the water bottle that brought her so much excitement and joy a few months ago.
      Is this how it starts? Do kids find someone who does something differently and start to beat it out of her, first with words and sneers? Must my daughter conform to be accepted?
      As any Star Wars fan worth his or her weight in midichlorians can tell you, there is no one single “type” of Star Wars fan. Star Wars fans are both genders, all ages, all races and all nationalities.

      And not only are there millions of women who love Star Wars, there famous, talented women who love Star Wars like pop star Lady Gaga, country/pop singer Taylor Swift, actress Megan Fox, actress/producer Drew Barrymore, actress/producer/writer Tina Fey, actress Michelle Ryan, comedian/actress Margaret Cho, award-winning actress Helen Mirren, MTV’s own Liz Lee, 90210 actress AnnaLynne McCord, supermodel & reality TV star Adrianne Curry, actress & gamer goddess Felicia Day, Jane Wiedlin from The Go-Go’s, singer Tanya Donelly, Jenny Conlee from The Decemberists, MSNBC news host Rachel Maddow, not to mention all the cool gamer gals in Team Unicorn! And that’s just to name only a few!

      Let’s not forget our awesome female actresses in our films & The Clone Wars animated TV series who also love the franchise such as Ahsoka Tano actress Ashley Eckstein (who loved Star Wars so much she started her own sci-fi themed fashion line Her Universe), Aurra Sing actress Jaime King, Padmé Amidala actress Catherine Taber, Barriss Offee actress Meredith Salenger, Asajj Ventress actress Nika Futterman, Shaak Ti actress Tasia Valenza, Duchess Satine actress Anna Graves… just to name a few.
      My point is, ladies love Star Wars too, and we should all support their right to geek out just like the guys. Little girls need to know they have every right to pick up a lightsaber as the rest of us.
      Star Wars itself is full of strong, independent female characters who wouldn’t have taken any guff from 1st grade boys who clearly don’t know their Star Wars characters.

      It’s these female characters like Ahsoka Tano, Princess Leia, Senator Amidala, Aurra Sing, Asajj Ventress, Mon Mothma, Aayla Secura, Barriss Offee, Luminara Unduli, Mara Jade, Darth Talon, Sy Snootles, Zam Wesell, Jocasta Nu, Ackmena, Jaina Solo — and many MANY more — who little girls (and us big girls) can learn a lot from when it comes to being ourselves and fighting for what we believe in.

      Kids can be cruel. They’re just trying to figure who they are and the friends they want to hang with. They want to be themselves, but they don’t want to be made fun of for being different. Sometimes standing up for what you love isn’t as easy as it looks when you have a gang of little girls snickering at you or a bunch of boys calling you names for liking something they think is just for them.

      I should know. Not only was I bullied all through school for loving Star Wars, Doctor Who and anything else with an awesome robot in it; I decided to write a book about it for other girls who have to deal with bullying called Girls Against Girls: Why We Are Mean to Each Other and How We Can Change.

      But here’s how WE as Star Wars fans can help RIGHT NOW:
      Support your kids/nieces/nephews when they say they love Star Wars and The Clone Wars — even if it’s a character you don’t happen to like — *cough*Jar Jar*cough*

      Pay attention to younglings when they look depressed. They might be suffering from bullying at school and could use a Yoda-like ear to talk to.
      Make sure your younglings understand that Star Wars is for guys AND gals.
      Finally, show your support of young Katie who was bullied for having a Star Wars water bottle at school by leaving comments here on the article that started it all and here on this blog entry calling for more geek girl support. Katie’s mom is reading all these supportive comments to her, and I bet she’d love to hear your Jedi-like words of wisdom.

      If you’re on Twitter, show your support of Katie liking Star Wars with the hashtag #MayTheForceBeWithKatie

      http://starwarsblog.starwars.com/index.php/2010/11/18/young-girl-bullied-for-lik...

    • 5 months ago
  • ArtBaron
    • +3
      ArtBaron [removed]  
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    • Wear Star Wars, Share Star Wars Day

      Last year to show support for a little girl named Katie who was bullied for liking Star Wars, fans everyone wore their Star Wars shirts to show support for “May The Force Be With Katie Day.”

      This year, on Dec. 16, Katie’s mom urges fans to show off their Star Wars pride by wearing a Star Wars shirt — but to also consider donating a Star Wars gift to toy drives with the condition that it can go to a boy OR a girl, not just a boy! This helps spread the word that Star Wars is for both girls and boys!

      Carrie Goldman (Katie’s mom) writes:
      Please join us in the second annual Wear Star Wars, Share Star Wars event on December 16, 2011. Celebrate this day of geek pride and anti-bullying by wearing something Star Wars or science fiction-related.

      Since it is the holiday season, please also celebrate the day by donating a Star Wars or science fiction toy to a child in need (but be sure to put a post-it note on the new, unwrapped toy specifying that it can go to a girl or a boy; otherwise, these traditional “boy toys” will be given only to boys!)

      You can bring the toy to a hospital, a shelter, or drop it off with any organization collecting toys. Feel free to host a similar toy drive at your child’s school, although you could call it “Proud To Be Me Day,” like Katie’s school does, so that the reach goes beyond science fiction.

      Here’s our goal: let’s get Wear Star Wars, Share Star Wars to spread to as many people as possible! Every time you read or write a blog post about the event

      http://starwarsblog.starwars.com/index.php/2011/12/15/wear-star-wars-share-star-...

    • 5 months ago
  • ArtBaron
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    • 05.4.11 // GeekGirlCon welcomes Carrie and Katie “Star Wars Girl” Goldman to our convention
      GeekGirlCon welcomes Carrie and Katie “Star Wars Girl” Goldman to our convention

      April 29, 2011-Seattle, WA- GeekGirlCon is proud to announce that Carrie and Katie Goldman will join our growing list of guests at GeekGirlCon. You may remember reading about Katie in November 2010 and her experiences being bullied at school by first-grade boys because she carried a Star Wars water bottle. The boys repeatedly picked on Katie in the lunch room, telling her Star Wars was for boys only. GeekGirlCon feels for these young boys, who do not yet know that Geek Girls exist and that we are everywhere. GeekGirlCon applauds Katie’s courage in declaring her love of Star Wars and believes that the force is strong with this one!

      Carrie Goldman, who shared her daughter’s bullying experience on her blog A Portrait of an Adoption, is a painter and writer. Carrie is writing her first book, The Littlest Jedi, an exploration of bullying prevention that will be published by Harper Collins. At GeekGirlCon, Carrie and Katie will offer their insights and experience with bullies at a geeky parenting panel. GeekGirlCon programming is still taking shape, so please check geekgirlcon.com regularly for up-to-date information.

      In 2010, Carrie was eager to show Katie that other girls are Star Wars fans too. GeekGirlCon will have more Star Wars Geek Girls that you can count. Not only will our attendees show their love of Star Wars, but our special guests too.

      http://www.geekgirlcon.com/geekgirlcon-welcomes-carrie-and-katie-%E2%80%9Cstar-w...

    • 5 months ago
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