Attitudes

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education; money, circumstances, failures, successes or even what other people think or say and do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home... a relationship

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past.
We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude
... I am convinced that an individual’s life is 10% what happens to them, and 90% is how they react to it.
And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.

I've been wrestling with this issue for a while. I'm not certain what the actual answer is. It's very closely related to the topic of "free will" -- how much choice do we really have? It's possible that we have no real choice at all, that our "intuitively obvious" feeling that we do have a choice is really just an illusion created by the impossibility of actually knowing all the factors that coalesce and "conspire" at each and every moment to determine what our choice will be. All those factors are not knowable until the instant a choice is made -- and all the factors may well be unknowable, and so we may not even be able to choose… when a decision is made.

Some are in charge of their attitudes. Possibly those who were not subjected to extreme cruelty at a young age. Those who were not beaten, molested, abandoned...Those who were not indoctrinated with dogma early in their childhood. Those who were allowed to think and feel without coercion. But in almost all of us we find varying degrees of an attitude about many things. It is almost impossible to start out with a tabula rasa. Everything from genetics to our environment conspires to defeat the reasoning mind which allows unprejudiced choice.

People do try to force their opinions on one though. I have actually had people complain because so-and-so never agreed with them and thus was thought incapable of logic. To some folk there is always only one answer to life's problems and they alone have it. A clear sign of a person with poor communication skills.

For those that have dysfunctional childhoods and realize it, they have a hard battle to be able to change their own attitudes. Attitudes are instant and they're not from rational thought. For a long time, they still feel righteous and have a need to consciously be replaced with something better. It takes a long time for it to come naturally and even longer to realize attitudes should apply to one’s true self when being formed. You wind up living in a world of misguided social assumptions devoid of rational conclusions.

We're not blank slates when we're born. Depending on wiring and brain chemistry, a new person perceives and reacts to his world differently than the next person. There's probably more random chance involved than we would like to believe and less people to blame.

If we "mature", later decisions about our lives are simply influenced by earlier decisions -- we're a little smarter because we notice the consequences of earlier and often bad judgments, so we make some adjustments.

Even here, though, we can debate whether we're really making a choice; whether the consequences of earlier decisions are now determining what later decisions are or actually forcing us to make a new "choice" because we wish to avoid repeating the same mistake. So it is with attitude.
For some reason, I've always been relatively optimistic, relatively upbeat, and relatively happy -- and this has always seemed pretty effortless, like it's a genetic thing. I'm not sure how much control I really have over that -- though, whether or not I have any control over it for it absolutely affects how folks react to me, and has always had a generally positive effect on my life. So I absolutely agree that attitude affects one's life -- I don't know how much control I really have over it.

This whole concept of attitude is used allot in support groups. I could not conceive of a life without alcohol, even though I was dying of it. I looked at those who were recovering and had become joyful in their attitude as mislead, brainwashed and just plain stupid. I now call this attitude one of being terminally "hip". I was not like them, I could never be another fresh pressed cookie right out the factory.

Why do people that drink heavily, think it's a crucial defining characteristic of their being; is beyond me.Years of drinking everyday made me see the world through the wrong end of a telescope. All I had to do was to admit that I was powerless over alcohol, and surrender to the fact that I could not stop drinking. Me? Surrender? Never! I simply used my will power. That and 2 bucks will buy me a beer. No, it really is a long and tedious struggle before anyone surrenders to the fact that they could not have "just a few beers". Just as I am convince myself that I am the Captain of my Soul I am very aware that I am at the mercy of my doubts. Being at the top of the loop of life or the bottom depends entirely on my ability to orient myself. Some days are harder than others.

Our life's experiences have an impact on our attitude but only up to a point.

However, as we become fully mature adults, we should be able to rationalize our past experiences, let them go, and take charge of our attitude. Maybe I should say, ideally, we should be able to rationalize.....

Each of us is simultaneously captain...and captive....of his own ship.

Although I don't think the ingrained attitudes necessarily come from indoctrination (at least nothing deliberate), abuse or even from any kind of parenting. Many are just from life's circumstances. Good and bad.

Something my mom said a long time ago, ‘history is full of 'perfect people', trouble is they are all dead;' helped me understand life involves allot of letting go in order to grow but knowing what to let go is the key....It can only be done from within.

The 'good life' doesn't leave as many obvious markers. They're what gives children confidence that they can take into their adult years. We teach our children they deserved to be loved. But they learn what they shouldn't put up with. All these things make up the attitudes they carry as adults. If your mom handled things calmly and with good cheer, her daughter is allot more likely to, etc.

You are the reason for your happiness and sorrow, not others and especially NOT those that give up their own joy so you can be informed and live happy ...i miss my friends

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaUFdNrKElA&feature=youtube_gdata_player