Community | February 08, 2012 | 26 comments

Time to kiss off online dating: a long-overdue farewell to Match.com | Scholars and Rogues

source: http://www.scholarsandrogues.com/2012/02/08/time-to-kiss-off-online-dating-a-long-overdue-an...

Image
hoosierdaddy
A new study on online dating confirms what I had started to figure out about my own situation (and I expect the same is true for many others on Match or eHarmony). Short version: you can't find love through a checklist of activities.
  1. groups:
    Community
  2. tags:
    Love,  Relationships,  Dating,  Online Dating,  1 more
  3.     
    |

26 comments // Time to kiss off online dating: a long-overdue farewell to Match.com | Scholars and Rogues

  • corndog67
    • 0
      corndog67  

    • You know what? There is nothing wrong with the online matchmaking thing. Sure there are freaks out there, haven't you ever met one in a bar, or laundromat, or market? At least, the stalkers that you see at the bar, are pretty obvious after a minute or two. Use your good judgement.

      Besides, I am the President of a Fairly Large Country that you've probably never heard of, I am a former Astronaut, and own 3 banks. Can you come and pick me up, the Rolls Royce is in the shop, and my sister borrowed the Ferrari. And can you loan a few thousand bucks until Friday, the bank I own can't process an electronic transfer until the 5th of Never.

      Seriously, it exposes you to way more men or women than you would meet on your own. And 120lbs can turn into 210lbs between the click and the meeting (well, I weighed that in Junior High).

    • 4 months ago
  • ROSERITA
    • 0
      ROSERITA  

    • Its human nature to judge, no matter what anyone says.. Online dating is nothing but a huge judgement about someone from their words on a screen.. A major waste of time....

    • 4 months ago
  • CollegiateMind
    • +2
      CollegiateMind  

    • Online dating (though theoretically a good concept), can unfortunately yield unwanted attention as well. Online career-stalkers (those who suffer from obsessive disorders) can ruin a "well-intentioned idea", such as dating forums (or blogs).

    • 4 months ago
  • Joeydee44
  • wolfess
    • 0
      wolfess  
    • CollegiateMind:

      And so why can't musiclive express this for her/himself? And why, at the very least, can't you put this in a private message? I really don't think this comment has any relevance or validity as a comment on this article, and I find it rather impertinent that you would put it out here for everyone to see.

    • 4 months ago
  • tverdell
  • hoosierdaddy
    • +4
      hoosierdaddy  
    • tverdell:

      Men and women are wired differently, but there are many respects in which they're quite alike. Differences in emphasis, I guess. Have you read Nancy Etcoff's SURVIVAL OF THE PRETTIEST? Awesome examination of this question.

    • 4 months ago
  • MusicLive
    • +3
      MusicLive  
    • tverdell:

      I don't think we can generalize on that... I've had relationships that had real 'soul mate' qualities, and also known people to whom 'surface' qualities was what seemed to count most..

    • 4 months ago
  • tverdell
    • +3
      tverdell  
    • hoosierdaddy:

      No I haven't, but common sense would dictate that men and women on dating sites are looking for different things.

      I think it would be tough to do match making that way.

      I recommend to my single girlfriend to join local organizations that she is interested in to find someone like minded. I think men on dating sites probably aren't serious.

    • 4 months ago
  • Incredulous
  • EmperorThan
    • +6
      EmperorThan  

    • The thing about those 'compatibility' survey things. Why would I want to date myself? I'm not narcissistic, I despise me. I want to date someone better than me, some loving creature not some skeptical cynic.

      I want a girlfriend who has bad taste in movies or books or something that I can criticize ruthlessly. As a cynic I NEED that, I need to be able to tell my girlfriend how gay she is for reading Twilight or Harry Potter. I don't want some girl who reads science textbooks. EWWW wtf?!?! That's what I do. Why would I want that?!?! "Our compatibility survey found that this girl loves wearing boxers just like you." Sick!!! Why would I want that?!?! lol

    • 4 months ago
  • MusicLive
  • TanzaniteDiamonds
  • hoosierdaddy
  • JanforGore
  • MusicLive
    • +1
      MusicLive  
    • JanforGore:

      Absolutely true.
      imo, what's 'sexiest, most attractive' has to do with soul, kindness, level of intelligence, (including emotional intelligence) and character....
      (humor and good music taste can't hurt either) ;)

    • 4 months ago
  • MusicLive
    • +2
      MusicLive  

    • Good post!
      Not only do I agree that "activities" ranks low on "criteria" for a good mate, but, more importantly, there's no way to gauge Character: (integrity, ethical and moral values).
      Those who have an ethical and moral standard of their own will tell the truth about it (and everything), but those who don't: won't.

    • 4 months ago
  • TanzaniteDiamonds
  • MusicLive
  • TanzaniteDiamonds
  • hoosierdaddy
    • +4
      hoosierdaddy  
    • MusicLive:

      No doubt about it. I've been trying to think back, and I don't believe there has ever been a time when an activity was a hook. It might have helped, once I was interested, to learn that there were common interests, but I had to be interested first before it mattered and if the kinds of values issues you're talking about aren't there then the activities are irrelevant. I've broken up with women who loved my favorite bands as much as I did.

    • 4 months ago
  • Incredulous
    • +2
      Incredulous  
    • MusicLive:

      Sometimes the up-voting mechanism doesn't register if you move the cursor too quickly after clicking. Try reloading the page, and then you can click again. Slide your mouse to the right when you click, and not up or down, and you should be able to avoid this problem. hope this helps.

    • 4 months ago
  • TanzaniteDiamonds
    • +3
      TanzaniteDiamonds  

    • Very interesting topic.

      Personally, I only know of one "temporary" success story; it didn't last because of too much distance, and both of them were married -- to other people they deceived -- to carry out their online *e-lationship*.

    • 4 months ago
  • hoosierdaddy
  • TanzaniteDiamonds
more from Community:
from the community

top videos