Mama Vogue vs. Teen Vogue

worship Condé Nast, the publisher that delivers about a dozen fashionable magazines including the two Vogues to my mailbox every four weeks. August can feel almost like Christmas to a fashionista when the two coveted September issues arrive. Today we pit old school Mama Vogue against new school Teen Vogue. Don’t you just love a family feud?

Cover Wars: This is a head scratcher. Both covers kinda stink. Keira Knightley who we love, love, love, suffers from hat hair. Surprisingly, she looks prettier on the DVD cover for Domino. And poor High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens appears to be channeling her inner frumpy Betty with a matronly ‘do and Golden Girls-inspired dress. We declare a draw.

The HOT: We buy Mama Vogue for the fantasy, no matter how dark the fantasy may be. The September issue is chock full of wonderful darkness including clothing by Alexander McQueen, black lip gloss, and a review of an outrageous cosmetic procedure we would never dare try (electrocute your flabby waist away!). We are drawn to Teen Vogue for opposite reasons. We can always depend on it for being a light fluffy confection where we can view items we can almost afford. We also adore Teen Vogue’s updates on cool bands like the Gossip and we love their cheerful fashion spreads like this month’s Cowboys and Indians pictorial. Plus their ads are always great for a good chuckle. Where else can you see a Walmart spread just two pages away from a Dior ad? LOVE.

The NOT: September’s Mama Vogue is labeled the “Value-Conscious Chic: When To Spend and Where to Save” issue. Um, Anna, stop it already. You irritated us enough with the fur. Don’t pretend you have any interest in budget fashion. On the flip side, Teen Vogue’s “Style Blogger” story on teen fashion phenom Kira Plastinina makes me feel like a loser. Thanks, Pops, for never buying me my own empire! But seriously, it raises the question: does being dirty rotten rich qualify someone to be a role model à la Paris Hilton?

And The Winner Is: If you mashed both magazines together, you would have the perfect ‘zine. Otherwise I recommend reading Mama Vogue for the main course and finishing off with a light perusal of the sweet Teen Vogue to take the edge off. Now I am jonesing for Spring 2009.

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