Comedy | June 28, 2008 | 12 comments

20 bands who need to go the f*** away now

source: http://www.fuzz.com/articles/article/20-Bands-Who-Need-to-Go-the-Fuck-Away-Now-244#comments

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ProjectNoise
OK, we don't necessarily agree with this list, but this article is f***ing hilarious. It goes from #1 ...

"Coldplay
Following the trail blazed by Klaus Nomi, Yanni and John Tesh, this band is what happens when your only records are ELO and latter-career Elton John and you misheard the few good parts of those. Uh, Mr. Paltrow, we know you’re rich and you look like you were rich before you were famous so quit dressing like an updated Artful Dodger. God invented the electric guitar so we didn’t have to listen to stuffy Europhiles saw away on those hideous violins and cellos, but you have forsworn God’s plan for rock ‘n’ roll and now we cast you out. Away."

... to #20:

"The Beatles
The seminal blight on the history of rock-and-roll since their fey little asses came skipping out of whatever grotesquely verdant, throbbing and respiring pod spawned them back in Liverpool. Their second record, With the Beatles (1963), is rife with unabashed emasculations and mal-renderings of milestone R&B hits and signaled the beginning of a decade of serial brazen mockery, especially with their injustice to Barrett Strong’s “Money (That’s What I Want).” The Beatles were to rock-n-roll what Enron was to the working man. They were arrogant, elitist, dilettantes who–even though now diminished by half–just won’t go away. Well boys, the Devil’s here and he’s got a past due notice for what’s left of your hollow, wheezy souls. Once and for all, Go Away!"

By The Fix staff
  1. groups:
    Entertainment,   Music,   Comedy,   TV and Film,   2 more
  2. tags:
    Entertainment,  Music,  Not News,  Comedy,  10 more
  3. credits:
    The Fix Staff wrote this
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12 comments // 20 bands who need to go the f*** away now

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