Comedy | February 10, 2009 | 9 comments

In God We Trust(ed)

source: http://blommit.com/?p=1406

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Cashmere
Dear America,
I regretfully present you with my letter of resignation. It has been a long time coming, though I never thought I could have ever been treated as poorly as in recent years. I have been under appreciated and over worked. I’ve been asked to do jobs that I just didn’t have the ability to fulfill.

I’ve been given more work that I can handle. Pushed to my limits. I’ve had people forge my signature on contracts I had no right endorsing. I thought I commanded more respect but I’ve been reduced to the company of elementary school permission slips. People have told others that I would support their work, when they knew there was no way I could. I feel like a bra with no under-wire.

I used to be respected the world over. I used to mean something. I set the standard for all others to work toward. I’ve been here since the very beginning, working for all of you. Now I’m not even worth my weight in gold.

What happened America? When did you forget what I was worth? When did you lose sight of all that I stood for? I’m not even sure I can remember what that was anymore.

Well no more, I quit. The truth is, I’m not even sure you’ll notice. You’ll probably just keep assigning me jobs as if nothing happened. Well, I won’t be stimulating anything besides myself for the time being. That sounds a lot like what congress has been doing the past few weeks. Seems like fun.

However, I’m not without a heart. I’ve gotten in contact with a replacement, here is his card. You all should be very familiar with his style, after all that’s pretty much the way you have been treating me since January 2001. If you need me, I’ll be in China.

Regretfully,
The Dollar $$



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  1. groups:
    Comedy,   Funny,   Non-News
  2. tags:
    Humor,  Comedy,  Economy,  Funny,  5 more
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9 comments // In God We Trust(ed)

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