Comedy | March 01, 2009 | 20 comments

The physics of dating

source: http://blommit.com/?p=1610

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Cashmere
First dates are one of those things, like taxes, that are super simple but still scare the shit out of people. It’s understandable though, people are really putting themselves out there on a first date. On a first date you are essentially putting yourself up for review, but not just for anything, you are going up for review on whether or not your are worthy enough to have sex with. That’s all a first date is, you are allowing someone to show whether or not they are good enough to get your goodies! Even if you don’t sleep with them right away, if you do go out with them again, you are letting them know you are willing to entertain the idea of eventually sleeping with them. However, there is no need to fear first dates, there is a simple perspective to first dates that will bring you success every time.

First Dates are governed by the same simple laws as physics.

Every first date is going to be a new equation and you just need to figure out the variables. Think of the date as an object that you are trying to move towards a destination. Think of that destination as getting laid, if you are in to that, maybe you just like hugging and pet names, that works too. Either way I’m not going to judge, whether you are looking for love, lust, or just someone to call “sugar face love butt”, this approach will work. All you have to do is keep moving the object in the right direction.

Read the laws at the link http://blommit.com/?p=1610
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20 comments // The physics of dating

  • bss05g
    • 0
      bss05g  

    • very interesting, i always thought there was only one good rule to a first date be very nice to the girl, and compliment her shoes, then the momentum comes from the booze

    • 3 years ago
  • CosmicSpiral
    • 0
      CosmicSpiral  

    • A great man put it this way:

      Most pick-up is textbook.

      "Hi, my name is [insert name]."
      "HAHAHAHAHAHA"

      Don't act like a retard. Don't say stupid shit. Pull, lead, escalate, it's done.

      It's really simple.

    • 3 years ago
  • thewarnerla
  • dkl165
    • 0
      dkl165  

    • Hmm... nothing like objectifying the woman you are dating to get into her pants...

      Sounds a little nerdy for my taste. I think a lot of woman (at least the ones I dated) would see right through a guy who is just constantly trying to figure out how to get into their pants.

      I see the logic here, but I don't know if I agree that it works completely.

    • 3 years ago
  • flyingkick
  • Cashmere
  • Incredulous
    • 0
      Incredulous  

    • hmm...rules like to be broken

      even those less dubious laws of physics
      are constantly taunting us with their own versions of -- catch me if you can

      said pursuit is more familiarly known to us as science

    • 3 years ago
  • Saladin
    • 0
      Saladin  

    • Seems a little harsh, I think dating is definitely more complex than an algebraic formula. Unless you're willing to reason that an outcome of zero or undefined is equal to people who are completely incompatible.

      But it's true that there are certain aspects of it which are just biological and psychological realities that are essential to get right.

    • 3 years ago
  • CosmicSpiral
  • advertisehere
  • Cashmere
    • 0
      Cashmere  
    • advertisehere:

      I know, I know, but Einstein is a much more widely recognizable face in relation to physics... It could also just as easily been Galileo because a lot of what newton did was simply restating Galileo's work. But no one recognizes his picture either.

    • 3 years ago
  • Saladin
    • 0
      Saladin  
    • advertisehere:

      Newton was wrong about a lot of things, Einstein's theories more correctly predict gravitational interactions than Newton's do.

      And even Einstein's framework doesn't explain a lot of quantum mechanics.

      Einstein is definitely more appropriate.

    • 3 years ago
  • pjacobs51
  • jimenagamio
  • Cashmere
  • sweetietat
    • 0
      sweetietat  

    • Physics implies some kind of rationality . . . I'm not so sure we can go as far as to say that there is any rational thought to dating and relationships!

    • 3 years ago
  • theFeral
  • alexaloise
  • notgonedry
    • 0
      notgonedry  

    • Interesting point of view on first fates. It seems like these rules could certainly apply. The impending success may be slightly over exaggerated, but this is enlightening none the less.

    • 3 years ago
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