Put A Bible over your Penis, Says Pope

My gut says that the Pope would say to obtain from anything except monogamy within marriage, and within that covenant there should be a safe environment for the sacred act of sex.

As far as going into other sexual rituals, I seriously doubt the Pope had anything more to say.

So he's telling me not to have sex.......? Maybe he's hinting at his priests O.o

That's a new one! Nothing can make me ashamed to admit that I'm Catholic! Besides, we're supposed to have freedom of religion.

Did anybody seriously UP-ed this?

oh dear, well here I go .. I know a book will help with unwanted sex .. because I used to put a novel (any novel) over ME when my X husband used to come to bed, he was stupid enough to think that I was reading, so he left me alone .. case and point ;)

What's next, veil over the vagina...

We all need a sense of humor, True or not, dont really care either way, I got a good laugh at this topic.

Does he mean holding it over it, or sort of balancing it on?

Or he could mean opening the Bible, putting your erect penises inside, then closing it again, but that somehow doesn't sound like the kind of thing he'd be in favour of.

C'mon. This link is at best (not-so) thinly veiled opinion, not news.

Voting down.

That is so ignorant that is makes me sick... wow.

He can't possibly be serious?

What do you expect from a religion that believes there god has a kid.

The man is a moron.

I don't believe the source is too accurate. I think its just baloney.

When will he stop saying such ridiculous things?

The thing about his speech (the real one) that really pissed me off was that he said "spirituality" would be better for aids than condoms...

Aids or not.. condoms are Way better for sex anyway.. Abstinence is a joke.. and a whole bunch of Africans are not that well educated (and you could argue that im being stereotypical but look at the people gangraping lesbians to "cure them") and this asshole relegious icon.. says things that go against Things programmed into you.. Like sex .. that confuses people and leads to bad choices..

Totally satire -

at the end of the "article":

Meanwhile the Vatican has issued this year's list of approved non-penetrative carnal techniques including pearl necklaces, light genital branding and something called 'Dutch steamboating'.

But I LOVE that we are trying to discount the Pope! What a joke the pope is nowadays...what a throwback.

The Responses are hilarious and this a satire thing.... Putting it as news may have been a bad thing.. but it was early in the morning... and its spring break... come on...

this is f***ing insane that is the most craziest thing i ever heard well then again the pope does think he is GOD

Anyone who actually reads the article should be able to tell this is a farce. If you need proof, just go to the last paragraph.

BUT GUYS! IT SAYS COMEDY!
its tagged as comedy and satire:

"topics: News, Comedy, Satire, AIDS, Pope, Dutch, Condom, Benedict, 2 more + add"

and says "more in comedy" at the bottom

Guys Come On!

And either way, this whole site is create it yourself content. Its created by whoever. Your not supposed to just take it as news. Its like wikipedia. You gotta do a little research on your own. Is that really so hard?

jeeze guys.

wouldn't surprise me if the church created AIDS

Ahhh the bible the only obvious birthcontrol.

I dont know why people think condoms would work.

I hate organized religion for this exact reason, the only people on earth that come up with absolutely insanely retarded answers for all the worlds problems. I hope people have more sense than to believe this archaic mystic crap.

While this particular article is a satire, the fact of the matter is the pope DID say crazy things regarding AIDS, religion and condoms. It's not all bullshit.

"Pope Benedict XVI really did say that AIDS is a "drama that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which on the contrary increase the problem."

It scares me how fast misinformation is circulated.

...incurable disease with a book. Unless the book's pages are made of uranium....

YourAnium is what he should tell us to protect to stop AIDS

It's satire. How many of you actually read the article? And how many actually understood that it was a joke? Obviously not many...

Don't get all frothy without fully researching a "news story". This is the FUCKING INTERNET FOR FUCK'S SAKE. Yes, the Catholic Church is against condoms. I'm pretty sure they're not advocating healing an incurable disease with a book. Unless the book's pages are made of uranium. And in that case, your AIDS, along with the rest of your corporal self, is dead.

Man im loving this guy as pope. A few more quotes like this and maybe people will start to realize the more religious you are the closer you are to insanity!

Globally speaking, AIDS is a huge public health concern. And I see the pope is trying to use his faith to help those that are in need.

But saying that condoms can increase the incident of AIDS cases definitely does not help the situation. Education programs that teach about abstinence or safe sex practices is what is proven to prevent the increase in AIDS cases.

Wait, JanforGore is right - this isn't real news. The Daily Mash is some kind of ripoff of The Onion. Sad that this is completely plausible though!

I put my penis in the bible, and proceed to f*uck it. Hvent got aids yet.

The Daily Mash is a British satirical website providing parodic commentary on current affairs and other news stories. I almost freaked out. XD

some condom company needs to add micro print of the bible on condoms.. to have the pope's blessing

http://current.com/items/89897174/vatican_and_pope_could_lead_it_s_sheep_to_a_di...

JESUS CHRIST that's HORRIBLE advice!!!

This is news?

i can't believe this are you all competing with the perv in drag to see who gets the best spot for the eternal marshmallow roast?

I'm jumping back in to the frying pan!

our father...................amen.

I am looking forward to the day Current commentators actually read the whole article, and in this case, realize it is not hilarious but never the less, satire.

bibles, penises and priest's oh my!

Damn! I am going to have to get a MUCH bigger Bible...

Whether or not this story is in context, should we really care what an out of touch and, quite frankly, sexually perverted religion tells us about anything?

I'm looking forward to the day when the ridiculous blathering of the Pope is no longer news worthy. No matter how stupid it may be.

"Put A Bible over your Penis"....wow...that's a whole new world of kink.....

Then you open you open the bible and slam it shut on your junk till your urges subside! I use a large hardbound copy, some will find that a very small pocket bible will do.

Why can't this guy, pope as you call him, just freaking go away. Every time he opens his mouth it's freaking nonsense.

WTF? For real?

He's saying this because he wants aids to wipe out most of the Earth's population. Eugenics at its best.

I am not a big fan of the Catholic church. However, since I have lived in Africa for almost 4 years now I can understand his points. He is encouraging celibacy, or faithfulness to one partner. I will not castigate my current home country, however, it should be considered that social norms are not consistent throughout the world. Most African cultures celebrate the birth of many children for a family. Men are also accepted to have mistresses or multiple wives. Condoms are not a traditional part of their culture, but multiple partners are. This is a recipe for the spread of AIDS throughout the continent.

He's not just on the wrong side of this is a social, ethical way, but on the wrong side of SCIENCE as well.

Saying that condoms help spread AIDS is dangerous and crazy!

Anyone with half a brain knows that upper-echelon Catholicism through the ages has been self-righteous religious radical crap!
If you know history you can detail the fact that the church has consistently been on the wrong side of major social ethical issues! The churches stance on birth control is yet another betrayal of the earth and its peoples!

When I get cancer, I'm going to put a bible over the affected area and that'll cure it, right?

perverted temple.stick to teaching your teachers to control there penis and you may go to heaven you wannabe prophet!

From another source: "According to reporters present at the time, it's true. On a flight to Yaoundé in Cameroon, his first trip as pope to Africa, home of two-thirds of the world's AIDS sufferers, Pope Benedict XVI really did say that AIDS is a "drama that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which on the contrary increase the problem."
http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsharpscience/2009/03/why-the-pope-is-wron...

Did he say, "Put a Bible over your penis"? If not , I expect a retraction of a "Sun" type hyperbole. Liars are liars no matter what their stripe.

hahahahahahahaha

THis is a b******t post. I am not a Catholic, but can see through the lies, posted as legitimate "news". Go to BBC news to see the facts of his speech. Who posted this and why are blatant lies allowed to be distributed as "facts"?

Good satire, hits the mark.

Or use a condom.

From the article "Suggesting that the African Aids epidemic can be contained simply by reading the bible would be criminally insane."

Indeed.