Comedy | June 13, 2009 | 76 comments

What your tattoo locations say about you

http://www.cracked.com/funny-298-tattoos/

Tattoos are reverse time machines: with time travel you can send a warning back to your younger self, with tattoos you send a mistake forward to your older self.

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76 comments // What your tattoo locations say about you

  • artsysoul91
  • remanns
  • Anne_Foy
  • Eleganza
    • 0
      Eleganza  
    • If haircuts were as permanent as tats the freeways would be full of people wearing mullets...thats my only concern, when this passes it we be like wearing for life something that you thought was cool when you were 12.

    • 2 years ago
  • FuriousLion
    • 0
      FuriousLion  
    • i never even wanted a job that pays taxes.....i feel sorry for the ppl that DO pay taxes...those are the ppl that need a weekend off work.

    • 2 years ago
  • Douglasfir
  • barbie_chola89
  • noxidereus
    • 0
      noxidereus  
    • I understand this is attempting to be humorous, but it's actually not really funny. I only found the belly tattoo joke marginally funny, the rest were lame.

      Mine's on my left shoulder blade and I love it and always will. I am going to get another soon.

    • 2 years ago
  • BustYourFace
    • 0
      BustYourFace  
    • WHAT YOUR TATTOO CHART SAYS ABOUT YOU:

      1. I'm a self righteous know it all piece of judgmental shit.

      2. I'm a pussy who is afraid of pain so I make fun of those who aren't.

      3. My Grandfather molested me. This morning.

    • 2 years ago
  • taylortrash
  • hipsterknickers
  • MissAmanda
  • Johnll
    • 0
      Johnll  
    • MissAmanda:

      Oh, Let's admit it, and fuck the dumb shit....Tattoos are soooooooo cool or we would not have one if we have any at all I have a portrait of my spouse on my bicep;;;;;;;;;;;

    • 2 years ago
  • Johnll
    • 0
      Johnll  
    • Well I guess I must be in the zone of total coolness, because my tattoo is located in the socially acceptable area.....So let's all get a Tattoo and piss- off

    • 2 years ago
  • Mr_T
    • 0
      Mr_T  
    • i personally see tattoos as just a part of me, just as much as freckles, moles, scars, eye colour etc is, they are part of my make up and part of who i am and i don't regret them at all, not even the fairly poorly done one i got at 18.

      and i want more.... the forearm being my next area of choice... and i don't see it as red zone? and i know some perfectly lovely non prison people with hand and neck tattoos.
      The only zone I seriously think is bad is face tattoos. Don't ruin your face.

    • 2 years ago
  • nicole_stutter
    • 0
      nicole_stutter  
    • I'm costing you taxes while I'm still socially acceptable. I'm a cute little princess and they say buying me a drink "will work" whatever that's suppose to mean haha. And it's true my tattoo is 500% more humiliating there but only because I had twins.

      Phew! Fun post.

    • 2 years ago
  • pfeytser
    • 0
      pfeytser  
    • nicole_stutter:

      But I was under the impression that girls like guys who are dicks to them?

      I've gotta say, I'm a little ashamed for being baited with the homophobic slur (that is, to make a fuss about it) and not considering the deeper and more offensive insinuations made about women in that drawing.

    • 2 years ago
  • nicole_stutter
  • pfeytser
  • youknoweknow
    • 0
      youknoweknow  
    • So umm... I'm a teacher, and I have tattoos on my forearm, bicep, chest, foot & ankle....

      Somehow, this chart just doesn't do the tattoo community justice... Hm.

    • 2 years ago
  • 02
  • wayseeker
    • 0
      wayseeker  
    • A lot of people regret their tattoo when they get older and it sags to the point of being unrecognizable. Oh well, to each his/her own.

    • 2 years ago
  • wirehedd
    • 0
      wirehedd  
    • I have ink in 3 zones covered in that article. But I pay taxes, don't think I suffer from faggy lameness and I don't care about socially acceptable rebellion.

      Funny but not very accurate and probably done by someone without any ink anyway.

    • 2 years ago
  • VROTK
    • 0
      VROTK  
    • haha! this was funny.

      +++ wow its so pathetic that people take this seriously.
      For one...read the entire article on the website. Actually just read the website's name before spewing all this crap about how: "Whomever wrote this website has no clue about tattoos and is spouting off a bunch of illogical opinions; First off, starting with you cannot get a tattoo while you are drunk, which is of course a theme on the site. Sure it was a little entertaining, but also, a very ignorant attempt to amuse."

      illogical opinions? take into consideration the website and that it is just humor. not a so-called ignorant attempt to amuse. Instead of expanding your vocabulary by talking shit, try reading the site.

    • 2 years ago
  • 02
    • 0
      02  
    • Ya gotta watch out -
      There was a person who had to get a skin transplant onto the face. They took it from the stomach.

      When the person got into adulthood, the graft started getting fat. Yeow!

      :-}

    • 2 years ago
  • nazbags
  • yesindeed
    • 0
      yesindeed  
    • I thought this was pretty funny! I chuckled.
      And it's not meant to be taken totally serious so I don't know why everyone IS being totally serious.
      Have a laugh, won't you?

    • 2 years ago
  • idealist
    • 0
      idealist  
    • lol, how this got to be front page material with all the other wicked stuff is beyond me. and im not just being biased becaus of my icon.

    • 2 years ago
  • malathion
    • 0
      malathion  
    • you do not begin to amount to anything in the world of tattoo until your knuckles are inked . everything else is just a fashion statement .

    • 2 years ago
  • yesindeed
  • Jerrigity
    • 0
      Jerrigity  
    • I am seeing more face and head tattoos that appear to be by choice now-a-days. You really mean it if you're inkin' it past the neck.

    • 2 years ago
  • kelkubi
    • 0
      kelkubi  
    • Have you ever heard don't judge a book by its cover? I got my first tattoo at the age of 40 and my second at 43, and don't regret either. My tats were not something I pulled out of the artists tattoo book, I walked in with my designs in hand. Will I look at these as mistakes in the future? I highly doubt it as they were designed as an artistic expression of who I am. My tats are unique, one of a kind pieces of art and both were done in good taste.

    • 2 years ago
  • KellyTheBird
  • Alex_French
    • 0
      Alex_French  
    • so everyone with a tat is some kind of loser? all tats are bad according to this chart. i don't see how this is worthy of the current home page. not that it isn't a little funny, but it also isn't news, which is why i visit this site, for relevance. also, my tats are very important to me and this was probably made by someone without a tattoo.

    • 2 years ago
  • SxUM
  • asherp
  • avicularia
  • waynehedd
  • asherp
  • islek
  • larock
  • nursediesel
  • nursediesel
    • 0
      nursediesel  
    • I was going for a small red heart on my left breast just to the left of my cleavage. Then I decided too many people stare at my breasts already!

    • 2 years ago
  • harlequin_girl
    • 0
      harlequin_girl  
    • This is pretty funny.
      (That is me illustrating my ability to take a joke before I say this:)
      I do find the amount of negative attention focused on female lower back tattoos frustrating, however. Somehow everyone thinks of them as tramp stamps and says that they are trashy or "Something to look at while you're hitting it from the back!" but honestly, it's a blank canvas of skin that won't be visible in a formal setting and it is big enough to get some pretty wide/elaborate tattoos there. There is no place on my body other than my lower back where I would want to get a big tattoo but the instant I do everyone will be coming up with these inaccurate conclusions about me.

      It needs to stop.

    • 2 years ago
  • avicularia
  • damnneargenius
  • singrrr
    • 0
      singrrr  
    • I had no idea that is what my tattoo placement meant, I just got them in places that I could hide them if necessary....

    • 2 years ago
  • waynehedd
  • walkthewalk
    • 0
      walkthewalk  
    • It just goes to show that we shouldn't believe everything published. I know quite a few people who would like to sit down with the person who wrote this article and set him straight on "tattoo placement."

    • 2 years ago
  • Viciouspike
    • 0
      Viciouspike  
    • Hm.... I was planning of getting the Gears of War dead COG emblem on upper left corner of my back... or on the shoulder... I guess I shouldn't then :'(

    • 2 years ago
  • BlakeLogan
    • 0
      BlakeLogan  
    • "Faggy"? Are you serious!? Unless you're gay, that word is as off limits as the "n word" is for anyone not black. It's 2009, come on. Despite the faux pas I thought the diagram was entertaining.

    • 2 years ago
  • hombre76
    • 0
      hombre76  
    • BlakeLogan:

      I say this with much love of the Gay community Shut up you Fag I'll say what I want where I want when I want even Nigger. so get back to more important work like equal marriage rights and stop trying to be the word police.

    • 2 years ago
  • BlakeLogan
  • JamesAJanisse
    • 0
      JamesAJanisse  
    • BlakeLogan:

      Hey hombre, you can pretend like it's not true if you want simply because you like to say "fag" and don't think there's anything wrong with gays, but the fact is that using "gay" and other words as synonyms for bad really sets the stage for homosexual oppression.

      I know people personally who have refrained from addressing their true sexuality because all their friends around them made fun of each other by calling each other fags or gay. That kind of self-consciousness can be really bad for social development, and could be avoided if people quit equating the gay community with something to be made fun of / mocked / ashamed of in their everyday vernacular.

    • 2 years ago
  • BlakeLogan
  • musicianbum
  • martinesheen
    • 0
      martinesheen  
    • BlakeLogan:

      i completely agree. i was totally on board with this until that "faggy" comment. i'm not offended by swearing and i like to think i have a good sense of humor but these derogatory terms that we continue to accept in our modern american society have no place.

    • 2 years ago
  • bailey78
  • micah4m
  • Nyx
    • 0
      Nyx  
    • I maybe a number of things but a "cute little princess" isn't one of them.

      ...oh, this is from Cracked. If they say I am, then they're right because they have pretty sharp cookies over there.

    • 2 years ago
  • pookie666
  • karin_a
    • 0
      karin_a  
    • pookie666:

      I completely agree! Whomever wrote this website has no clue about tattoos and is spouting off a bunch of illogical opinions; First off, starting with you cannot get a tattoo while you are drunk, which is of course a theme on the site. Sure it was a little entertaining, but also, a very ignorant attempt to amuse.

    • 2 years ago
  • larock
  • Bang1989
  • artemis6
  • Ihatethemall
  • ItsNaYo
  • remanns
    • 0
      remanns  
    • SPOT ON!
      p.s. and Im not kidding,....I mean I totally agree.
      (but I have payed taxes none-the -less; inner wrist chinese glyph culprit myself) does make me feel rather like a cut of beef looking at the diagram............

    • 2 years ago
  • chmiko
  • karmapoliceman89
  • renbyrd
  • twitterbot
  • DeliaTheArtist
    • 0
      DeliaTheArtist  
    • My tattoos are in the prison zone :( They are not right on my neck; one is on the back of neck/shoulder blade area and one on the left collar bone.

    • 2 years ago
  • matriculated
  • twitterbot
  • nursediesel
TravG73
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