Comedy | July 06, 2009 | 1 comment

Mrs Robinson’s Advice for Teenage Boys.

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To describe a Teenage boys sexuality one needs to define what sexuality means at that age. The boy’s brain releases endorphins and he feels like “The penis is two feet long, hard as steel, always ready, and will knock your socks off.”

That image tells us that male teenage sexuality is 1) Genitally focused, 2) Detached from other parts and reality, 3) Is performance oriented such as a car or lawn mower 4) Should always be one of those experiences everybody wants and talks about.

Most teenage boys think of girls as sex craving sluts who can not get enough of sex, no matter time, day, or surrounding. After watching a few Porn movies they just assume that girls are insatiable, will perform oral sex for hours on end and not ask anything in return. Truly the best of all worlds (mostly space)

Foreplay is not a play-formation in the NFL. To a teenage boy foreplay is an average of 3 minutes it takes from start to finish to reach an orgasm. To a girl foreplay is everything from the start of a date to the time of orgasm, literally hours if not days. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you are paying by the hour and trying to get your money’s worth by cutting out non-essentials. Some kid at school told you girls love it when you blow in their ear. True, but there’s a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you are trying to extinguish the candles on your birthday cake. That hurts. Even though you are a teenager you need to shave. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner’s face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it’s not passion, it is avoidance and agony.

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