Comedy | August 27, 2009 | 5 comments

Afterbirthers Demand To See Obama's Placenta

source: http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/afterbirthers_demand_to_see?utm_source=twitterfe...

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DeliaTheArtist
"In the continuing controversy surrounding the president's U.S. citizenship, a new fringe group informally known as "Afterbirthers" demanded Monday the authentication of Barack Obama's placenta from his time inside his mother's womb. "All we are asking is that the president produce a sample of his fetal membranes and vessels—preferably along with a photo of the crowning and delivery—and this will all be over," said former presidential candidate and Afterbirthers spokesman Alan Keyes, later adding that his organization would be willing to settle for a half-liter of maternal cord plasma. "To this day, the American people have not seen a cervical mucus plug, let alone one that has been signed and notarized by a state-certified Hawaiian health official. If the president was indeed born in the manner in which he claims, then where is his gestation sac?" Keyes said that if Obama did not soon produce at least a bloody bedsheet from his conception, Afterbirthers would push forward with efforts to exhume the president's deceased mother and inspect the corpse's pelvic bone and birth canal."
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5 comments // Afterbirthers Demand To See Obama's Placenta

  • donnyin3d
  • Yin2Yang
    • 0
      Yin2Yang  

    • i would LOVE to show you my birth stain, Alan! oh? you want a milk jug full of my mother's vaginal fluids as well? i just happen to have some handy as well! and i just so happen to have a ream of dehydrated fetal membranes in my filing cabinet for such an occasion as this where a group of weirdo's need to verify that i was born. my mother's grave is right there, start digging.

    • 2 years ago
  • cztheday
    • 0
      cztheday  

    • Heh. I haven't visited The Onion in far too long. Laughed so hard I passed a kidney stone. On one hand: ouch. On the other, the stone has taken that critical first step toward qualifying to run for the Presdency.

      Interesting when you think of it that way...possessing the "right" birth certivicate is obviously a critical qualification to be President...but Bush the Lesser proved that competence or even receiving a majority of the votes cast are apparently not even considered "qualifications," let alone critical ones.

      Thank God the smart people have control of the ship of state: I would probably impose some kind of dumbass written Presidency test with questions like how to spell the plural form of the word Potato or DEMANDING to know their personal definition of the moniker: "Dittohead"...

    • 2 years ago
  • pjacobs51
  • Nettle
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