Comedy | October 29, 2009 | 6 comments

Is monogamy realistic?

source: http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/10/28/monogamy.realistic.today/index.html

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If you were to judge the success rate of monogamy by the sex lives of public figures, perhaps couples should change their marriage vows to say, "Till a tempting new partner do us part."
Talk-show host David Letterman recently joined former presidential candidate John Edwards, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer on a long list of politicians and entertainers (think Jude Law) who have admitted having sex outside their marriage or committed relationship.
But do they just illustrate the realities of modern life?
In the age of hookups, friends with benefits and online dating, and as human life expectancy grows, is it still reasonable to expect people to pair up and stay monogamous until death do them part?
"It's realistic that some people can mate for life in the same sense that some people can play the Beethoven violin concerto or other people can ice-skate beautifully or learn a new language," said psychiatrist Judith Eve Lipton.
Added evolutionary biologist David Barash, "It's within the realm of human potential, but it's not easy."
Lipton and Barash, who have been married 32 years and are the co-authors of "Strange Bedfellows" and "The Myth of Monogamy," said serial monogamy may be more realistic -- a model in which people move from one committed long-term relationship to another and choose partners for different reasons at different stages of their life.
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6 comments // Is monogamy realistic?

  • TasteHi
    • 0
      TasteHi  

    • Well the wording is off, I suppose....."Is monogamy realistic?". Should be rephrased as "Is Marriage realistic?"....I think the original intent of marriage, was a means for devising a contract, where a woman whom was being "given away" would have a devoted husband and not have to endure the shame of bearing a "nameless brat". Then branded as an adulterer and blah blah blah........

      The thing is...somewhere along the line, marriage became a tradition rather than a contract, but the law seems to continue enforcing the tradition for some reason.

      So in the tradition of applying common sense to philosophical questions, my answer is this :

      People bend rules and break promises because these are things that are done in present time and with ignorance to events, which may arise in the future...

      Should I realisticly believe my spouse has the capacity to keep every promise? No
      it would be naive to do so. After all, my charms were enough to make my spouse give up personal freedoms and I highly doubt there is no one in this world more charming than I.

      Reality just isn't romantic enough for monogamy.

    • 2 years ago
  • 24French
    • 0
      24French  

    • Not if you're addicted to sex (and a constant influx of new partners). Jude Law is the alternative to monogamy? Really? Is it really one or everybody?

    • 2 years ago
  • hpseaton
  • remanns
  • remanns
    • 0
      remanns  

    • A more "realistic" question would be; "Is monogamy fun"? Past that basic hurdle,people can crawl through fires to save babies and shit,...whatever they set their minds to. Can the motivation present move the masses, commonly, mostly, to practice monogamy? Well,..... its been done. The future....? p.s. ....and quite simply, the "poly-amorous" are a pain in the ass to those of us who aren't. If they lived in communes it wold be cool,...but if your looking for "old fashioned social manners" they chafe somewhat.
      There is a social group not really called "Thelemics",...you know who you are. Just give me an "old fashioned" slattern, cocotte or trull any day!

    • 2 years ago
  • hpseaton
    • 0
      hpseaton  

    • Interesting article. This is something that people will continue to debate and discuss forever. I agree that some people are cut out for monogamy (and the serial monogamy is a more realistic model) and some just aren't. Maybe it's in the genes.

      I marvel at people who can be in multiple relationships at the same time. To me, that would take far more skill than monogamy!

    • 2 years ago
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