The End is Near

People who score less than zero are immediately matriculated into top management at the Rand Corporation. Pick up your attache case in the lobby and meet your driver at 6 AM. No light-colored socks, please.

how about -1? where do i go? I'm already called Satan... lol...

Doomsday Personality Test.

If you pass this test you may live eternally as a large canary. If you fail, your soul will be provided to the Hercolubians for use as a pinata.

Circle the answer that best describes you.

A)
1) I believe that giant moles are responsible for traffic jams.
2) I believe that Dr. Martin Luther King was once employed as a telephone solicitor for the Kirby Vacuum Cleaner Company.
3) My soft palate plays the "Star Spangled Banner" as I drift off to sleep.
4) My neighbors are forming a posse to track down Osama Bin Laden, but I plan to stay behind and watch for geese.

B)
1) Long ago my parents tried square dancing, but they gave up when they realized it was done in a circle.
2) No one in my third grade class could believe me when I told them about the squirrels.
3) The planets are aligned just to make fun of me and my birthmark.
4) Meat is a trick.

C)
1) Christopher Columbus was my first pen pal.
2) People who know me say I'm lugubrious.
3) I wonder if the government is out to get itself.
4) In 1987 I was voted most likely to hurl.

Scoring:

3 Correct = Eternal life as a large canary. Perch not provided.
2 Correct = 6-year probation to be spent in Tacoma, Washington
1 Correct = Flagellation until enlightenment is achieved
0 Correct = Pack your toothbrush; you're headed to Hercolubus.

Answers:

A) #3
B) #2
C) #1

Eating something good. :) Progresshiv, I think there is a new religion in here somewhere just dying to get some followers that will give you all of their money. Did you ever think of offering personality tests? :D

T.V.!
...............er, sorry,.....distracted,..........

And there was great rejoicing in the body shops of the world.

Fishes, bellies filled with the remains of politicians, did rise from the water and smote the wretched unparked.

yet annother big black box I can't access. I wish I knew what was causing this.

And the dearth of butterscotch did make them gnash their teeth and wail.

So sayeth the prophet.
And the masses went on the journey to the Queen of the Dairies and did lay their money down on the counter. Dilly Bars were consumed until, yay, there were no more and the beginning of the end began.

:) It could happen.