The Real Sarah Palin Story
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- Progresshiv
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With all the fuss about President Obama's birth certificate, I feel it is my duty as a patriot to share the full story about Sarah Palin.
You may be unaware that Sarah Palin's real name is Alice McMurphy, that she was born in Yemen to a Bengali father and a Scottish mother, that her left leg is 1.5 inches shorter than her right as the result of a bobsledding accident at the 1980 Winter Olympics, that she has been married 11 times to 7 different men, that her eyebrows are implants, her uterus was removed and replaced by a neoprene bladder, that her first name, "Sarah" derives from the Aramaic "Sheri" which means, "One who eats the grass of the field," that she ceased taking flying lessons after encountering a UFO shaped like a giant trash bag, that in high school her nickname was "Stilts" because she strapped metal lunch boxes to her feet, that nine doctors operated on her three years ago to remove a stapler which had become lodged in her duodenum, that her hidden political agenda is to remove all interstate highways and replace them with shuffleboard courts, that her office in the Alaska state capitol was decorated with hundreds of dead parakeets, and that she takes steroids to ward off a recurrence of Reye's Syndrome, which at one time incapacitated her to the point that she had to use motorized scooter to do her grocery shopping.
You may be unaware that Sarah Palin's real name is Alice McMurphy, that she was born in Yemen to a Bengali father and a Scottish mother, that her left leg is 1.5 inches shorter than her right as the result of a bobsledding accident at the 1980 Winter Olympics, that she has been married 11 times to 7 different men, that her eyebrows are implants, her uterus was removed and replaced by a neoprene bladder, that her first name, "Sarah" derives from the Aramaic "Sheri" which means, "One who eats the grass of the field," that she ceased taking flying lessons after encountering a UFO shaped like a giant trash bag, that in high school her nickname was "Stilts" because she strapped metal lunch boxes to her feet, that nine doctors operated on her three years ago to remove a stapler which had become lodged in her duodenum, that her hidden political agenda is to remove all interstate highways and replace them with shuffleboard courts, that her office in the Alaska state capitol was decorated with hundreds of dead parakeets, and that she takes steroids to ward off a recurrence of Reye's Syndrome, which at one time incapacitated her to the point that she had to use motorized scooter to do her grocery shopping.
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- groups:
- Comedy
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- tags:
- Politics, Barack Obama, Republican, Sarah Palin, 4 more
