Comedy | April 27, 2010 | 119 comments

Noah's Ark Found!

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gpexaminer
A team of Chinese and Turkish archeologists reported that they have found strong evidence that the ruins located in Mount Ararat in modern day Turkey belong to the Noah’s Ark. This new development may shake the history of science, technology and religion.

The archeologists have stated that they have carbon tested the wooden parts found buried under ground where the ruins are located and the woods date 4800 years back. The pieces of wood are found at an altitude of 4,000 meters. There has never been a discovery of civilization above 3,500 meters before.

However, Yeung Wing-Cheung, a team member and a documentary producer from Hong Kong said : ” We are not 100% sure that these pieces belong to the Noah’s Ark, but we are 99,9% sure. This discovery is going to make a major change in many religious beliefs. We have only found bones of horses and we have counted a total of 1347 horses. We have not come accross any other animal bones so far”. He also added surprisingly that they have made an interesting discovery too, a marine engine label showing the power as 1347 hp, which is the exact number of horses they have counted in the ruins. The evidence has been sent to New York Archeology Musueum for further analysis.


Marine Engine Label Found During The Excavations
Hakan Osmanoglu, the team leader and professor at Istanbul University said they have also found a general arrangement plan showing 2 master bedroms, 6 guest rooms, a flybridge jacuzzi, a large galley, sauna and a theatre located in the decks of the ark. However, he stated that none of the furniture or appliances has been found as the area have been looted by the crusaders in the late 9th century.

The research report will be made public in the following months when all the pieces are analyzed. We have been given the opportunity to read some of the drafts. The report argues the religious beliefs and re-writes the history of civilizations.

Read More Here ... http://www.gpexaminer.com/?p=101
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119 comments // Noah's Ark Found!

  • Jamin_Szczesny
    • 0
      Jamin_Szczesny  

    • It's amazing to me just how many gullible people there are out there who would believe an incredibly insane claim such as this. They obviously have no idea how completely ridiculous the entire Noah's Ark story is in the first place.
      Complete lack of logic and reason!
      This video will explain... And make you laugh!

    • 2 years ago
  • claybird121
  • pizzabros
  • artq8
  • pizzabros
  • a_roxanne
  • TheBianca
  • artq8
  • smalltowndj
  • Naumadd
  • freecrack
    • 0
      freecrack  

    • every civilization that has a threat of flooding has historical tales of great flood as desert areas have great tales of fires and fault line areas great tales of the earth opening up. just cuz they thought thier civilization was ALL civilization doesnt mean in actuality we were all wiped of the earth.just as the black plague wasnt the destruction of the world just europe through asia

    • 2 years ago
  • claybird121
  • Numbz
    • 0
      Numbz  

    • I thought a while back they thought the ark was in a mountain somewhere...

      But many relgions have storys about a great flood. It was totally possible.

    • 2 years ago
  • brunsbuilt
  • artq8
  • brunsbuilt
  • artq8
  • Chapisbored
  • arkana
    • +2
      arkana  

    • That is false. In fact I think the History Channell (if not National G. or Discovery C.) that aired a documentary about his. They had a geologist who said it was a natural formation. The geologist gave the explanation which I have now forgotten.

      Besides the fact that this case is false, there is a very good reason to believe we will never find Noah's ark. The reason being: IT WAS MADE OUT OF WOOD.

    • 2 years ago
  • jubal
  • Martina_Rongong
  • freecrack
  • maxjunk
  • pizzabros
  • inyourstory
    • +1
      inyourstory  

    • its too bad that creationists don't believe in true science or biology - just from a standpoint of conservation biology - where there is NO hope for a species if there is only one breeding pair left - all this Noah's ark BS could be discredited...(not to mention from hundreds of other standpoints).
      And I find it highly interesting, that in this one instance, the creationists are actually using CARBON DATING !!!! their most hated scientific technique.

    • 2 years ago
  • freecrack
  • EmperorThan
    • +2
      EmperorThan  

    • Can't wait till they start finding animal droppings from every species of animal on Earth in such a small area....

      Oh wait, that's right, they won't. Cus there's no actual science or archeology to this horseshit.

    • 2 years ago
  • ryan8566
  • artq8
  • Kurta
    • +2
      Kurta  

    • Didn't they find some jackalope fossils and the Eddie and the Cruisers master tapes at this site? I think it was near where Wendy's found "the beef". I could be wrong.

    • 2 years ago
  • bigloutech
  • bombastinator
    • +1
      bombastinator  

    • flagged the news tag. It's definitely "Onion" style comedy, and if there actually was some sort of expedition going on it might be news, but there is no evidence this actually happened.

    • 2 years ago
  • inyourstory
  • meddelem
  • bombastinator
    • +1
      bombastinator  
    • inyourstory:

      well dangit why didn't they have a link in the article then? Humph.

      Thank you for that by the way it was most helpful. +^

      Good to know though that this is an evangelical group rather than a pure science group. I wonder if they picked people from predominantly non christian nations to obscure that fact?

    • 2 years ago
  • randallr01
  • ampersand
  • occhipij
  • artq8
  • dariusvons
    • +2
      dariusvons  

    • bunk... even IF it's a real ark of some sort, it still fails to explain all the different human races across the globe, or the FACT that marsupials aren't even mentioned in ANY of their myths let alone the animals found ONLY in australia or anywhere else for that matter, but aren't found AT ALL in eurasia.... it also fails to explain why noah didn't save any of the dinosaurs... or the FACT that of all the cultures that had written language at the time of this supposed WORLD WIDE FLOOD, the aztecs, chinese, maya, norsk... nobody else seems to have noticed a WORLD WIDE FLOOD! you think they'd mention something like a WORLD WIDE FLOOD!

      oh yeah, sorry I'm actually thinking about this... and they don't want us to put any real thought into this because ANY logical conclusion would instantly dismiss this as BULL SHIT.

    • 2 years ago
  • insaintity
    • 0
      insaintity  
    • dariusvons:

      Actually, very many ancient cultures DO have stories about a great flood that wiped out everything.

      "The Epic of Gilgamesh" mentions it. I also recommend reading Joseph Campbell and Graham Hancock, for summations of this seemingly worldwide phenomenon.

    • 2 years ago
  • bombastinator
  • claybird121
    • 0
      claybird121  
    • insaintity:

      Some mention a deluge, but it's nowhere near to worldwide. It's sparse at best and i don't think it's any more surprising than different cultures having stories about great storms, droughts, migrations, of winters.

    • 2 years ago
  • dariusvons
    • 0
      dariusvons  
    • insaintity:

      graham hancock is a joke. I appreciate scepticism and alternate explanations and in general 'outside-the-box' ideas, but graham hancock makes many many assumptions and has many ideas that are unrealisticly far-fetched. like the idea that aliens built the pyramids... come on really? why is it so hard to believe that HUMANS really can do things like that? and just because modern people aren't sure how they were built doesn't mean that the ancients couldn't have done it. that's just a gross underestimate of human abilities.

      and yes many cultures around the world have stories about floods, floods happen, it's natural... but again, there are only a few cultues (most from the middle east) who have stories about a WORLD WIDE FLOOD.... why do the maya or aztec or chinese even not have a global flood story, but rather ONLY regular flood stories?

    • 2 years ago
  • dariusvons
    • 0
      dariusvons  
    • insaintity:

      I do like the fact that graham hancock does point out some of the odder things from history... like the fact that the Olmec heads (marking the first civilization in the americas), have facial features and structure like people from africa and NOT america or asia as the native americans have... but again this doesn't mean anything unless we have additional evidence, and as it happens the olmec heads are the only thing left behind by the olmecs, so nodody really knows anything more about them. just a thought on G. Hancock.

    • 2 years ago
  • dariusvons
    • 0
      dariusvons  
    • claybird121:

      floods happen... within my own lifetime I can think of many different floods, so of course there's going to be stories about floods, they happen. but a world wide flood? come on... how gullible can one be?

    • 2 years ago
  • Kitten_Moon
  • dariusvons
  • tonicsouls
  • Saladin
    • +4
      Saladin  
    • Image

    • "The aim of gpexaminer.com is to take people's attentions on serious issues using exeggerations [sic] and possible scenarios."

      People really have to stop posting shit like this and pretending it's news.

    • 2 years ago
  • Trauzer
    • +1
      Trauzer  
    • Saladin:

      Indeed. Someone posted another story from this site a few weeks ago about Palestinians buying islands from Greece to alleviate the Grecian debt and possibly establish land for Palestinians. No one reads the fine print, it seems.

    • 2 years ago
  • 02yamahaR1
  • device80
    • 0
      device80  

    • noah was straight up chilin man. engines, jacuzzi's, master suites and sauna's.... what next? there gunna find the tanning booth and laundry machine?

    • 2 years ago
  • Mattchicago
  • artemis6
    • 0
      artemis6  

    • 99% sure it's Noah's ark ? Bits of wood ? Was there a commemorative monument carved in stone ? Ha ha ha ha ..... ahhhh . Chuck Norris probably put it there .

    • 2 years ago
  • Reeseismyname
  • Reeseismyname
  • Haruki_Hirasawa
  • I_WIN_U_LOSE
    • 0
      I_WIN_U_LOSE  

    • Ya of course... Scientists spend millions of dollars to just find a little land mass in China. I mean really, make a post that has some meaning like when pigs fly OK? Like really, since when did Noah get a hot tub? Is he "Chillin in da tub with da animals"? And, a theatre? Did they show 2012 and Avatar in their? Really, get your facts straight before doing these posts.

      A landmass shaped like an ark that has wood in it... It just has to be Noah's Ark? So if they found a Grilled Cheese Sandwhich that has the name Mary on it, it just has to be Mother Mary?

    • 2 years ago
  • DEM46
    • 0
      DEM46  

    • WTF: a marine engine label showing the power as 1347 hp, which is the exact number of horses they have counted in the ruins.

      Really? Are they serious - I don't quite get the reference and I believe this would disprove the find?

    • 2 years ago
  • Haruki_Hirasawa
    • 0
      Haruki_Hirasawa  
    • DEM46:

      Its a joke. Can't you see that?
      "Hakan Osmanoglu, the team leader and professor at Istanbul University said they have also found a general arrangement plan showing 2 master bedroms, 6 guest rooms, a flybridge jacuzzi, a large galley, sauna and a theatre located in the decks of the ark. However, he stated that none of the furniture or appliances has been found as the area have been looted by the crusaders in the late 9th century."
      Duh! Sauna, jacuzzi?

    • 2 years ago
  • chinese_democracy
  • Chapisbored
  • of10rot10
  • maneatingrobot
  • feefer2010
  • Mudboy16
    • 0
      Mudboy16  

    • i refuse to believe that its "noahs ark." Didn't the turks have a giant army with giant boats..

      This just in, The website is a complete fraud lol.

    • 2 years ago
  • nursediesel
    • +1
      nursediesel  

    • Boy, I bet thats some big jacuzzi! I guess the animals used it, too? To bad the crusaders looted the craft.....Maybe the stuff is in British museums???!!! Monty Python could do a movie "In Search Of The Ark's Accoutrement's"! LOL

    • 2 years ago
  • lj111
  • mcgibson23
    • +1
      mcgibson23  
    • Image

    • Just an FYI for anyone reading this. The website on which this article was found features the below statement in the site's About section:

      About

      Articles posted on this website contains ficticious content. The aim of gpexaminer.com is to take people’s attentions on serious issues using exeggerations and possible scenarios.

      We believe in things we see on our TV’s or read on our newspapers and favourite websites. We believe in things how they are presented to our minds. They have turned us into machines, programmed to forget and accept things very easy. We do not get shocked with the most terrible events hapenning in any part of the world. We see everything like Hollywood movies or computer games. Killing and dying make no sense any more.

      We watch people getting raped and killed by our own soldiers and still believe that we are doing something good for those people. This is the exact way “they” want us to think and believe.

      It is time for a change. Let’s write the stories again, let’s see other possibilities!!!

      The names of persons and organizations can be real in the articles. Everything else on this web site is fictional. Please do not bother to sue us or protest us. You are free to critisize and send your comments.

      Interesting concept.

    • 2 years ago
  • TasteHi
  • CalgarC
  • CalgarC
  • artq8
  • Ajil
    • 0
      Ajil  

    • Groups: News, COMEDY!

      Tags: News, Science, FRAUD! LIES!

      ----------------------------------------------------

      I'm wondering how this landed on the top spot? It must have been the work of the Current staff. I have been trying not to rag on the Current staff for the work they do, but seriously? Some members here would rather this site not be some silly blog.

      ---I urge everyone that feels this is a waste of time to vote it down.

    • 2 years ago
  • onemalefla
  • CalgarC
  • freecrack
  • Ajil
  • Ajil
  • Ajil
    • 0
      Ajil  
    • freecrack:

      Yes, because I forgot about my ability to tell that posts are spam before clicking on them.... Granted the title on this article does sort of give it away, and in the future I'll try to keep from clicking on any of Current member gpexaminer's posts.

    • 2 years ago
  • CalgarC
  • artq8
  • sgordy1
    • 0
      sgordy1  

    • If this was "real" we wouldnt be able to do shit today without hearing about this all over the place. If it does actually happen we will all know about it.

    • 2 years ago
  • juicie
    • 0
      juicie  

    • Alpine, often semi-arid valleys—including Humla, Jumla, Dolpo, Mustang, Manang and Khumbu-- cut between himalayan subranges or lie north of them. They are lightly populated by people with Tibetan affinities called Bhotiya or Bhutia including the famous Sherpas in Kumbu valley near Mount Everest. Permanent villages are found as high as 4,500 metres (14,764 ft) with summer encampments even higher.

    • 2 years ago
  • shizzam
    • +2
      shizzam  

    • ok well i am 99.9% sure that this made a headline today but tomorrow we will not hear a thing about this, this has been said one too many times and its getting pretty old, who cares? we know that it was all magical stories, you dont have to keep trying to prove to us that noah survived a flood with.... what is that? all horses? awww too bad... very close though

    • 2 years ago
  • Evan_Prichard
    • +1
      Evan_Prichard  

    • That can't be right, I found Noah's Ark and the Ark of the Covenant in my backyard. What kind of scientist immediately thinks a find like this is from a work of fiction

    • 2 years ago
  • ozoneocean
  • Earl_of_Edmonds
  • Ragan
    • +1
      Ragan  

    • WOW and they even had a jacuzzi!!!, Sauna and a theater for watching Disney movies. What kind of a tale is this?? It isn't fiction or fact, just one of those escapees from that Creation museum in Missouri?.

    • 2 years ago
  • Vierotchka
  • Jack_Maxwell
    • +2
      Jack_Maxwell  
    • Image

    • Copyright © GP EXAMINER - Global Politics Review

      Articles posted on this website contains ficticious content. The aim of gpexaminer.com is to take people’s attentions on serious issues using exeggerations and possible scenarios.

    • 2 years ago
  • Alex_French
  • leotardjesus
  • Alex_French
    • +9
      Alex_French  

    • so its a joke? or is this prison planet? oh no wait still current, guess the world is coming to an end. what a load of shit. i wish current wouldn't put things in the comedy section on the front page in between "tigers starved to make wine" and "Ethiopian villages burn". i come here for the world's happenings. if i want to laugh i'll check out infomania, supernews, or that funny SOB ben hoffman. this is just retarded and it isnt fair to the gullible christians. "no way! they found it! its all true! take THAT you haters!" it isnt fair i say. *smoking a joint and forgetting this ever happened*

    • 2 years ago
  • freecrack
    • +1
      freecrack  

    • as it turns out the collapse of the weekly world news didnt remove this kind of stuff from the media. now if we can only follow bat boy

    • 2 years ago
  • diode
  • Ricky84
  • RoBot_rOcKer
  • frank_runyeon
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