Comedy | February 04, 2011 | 54 comments

Glenn Beck on hiatus after anti-psychotic drug binge in Vegas

Image
SuperTuesdayNews
PASADENA, CA - Conservative talker Glenn Beck suffered a personal and professional setback Friday, when it was announced that Beck's radio and television programs would be placed on temporary hiatus while the host recovers from a two-day anti-psychotic prescription drug binge in Las Vegas. Producers for Beck's Fox News program claim the controversial host took too many anti-psychotics, and is, therefore, not crazy enough to espouse his usual lunatic theories or go on one of his trademark insane rants that his viewers have come to expect.

"It's with a heavy heart that we must temporarily pull Glenn Beck from our schedule," said Fox News head of programming Matthew Nosal in an official statement. "We fully support Glenn, and when he gets those much-needed prescriptions out of his system, we'll be happy to have him back on the air, talking nonsense."

Beck, 46, was rushed to Desert Springs Hospital early Friday morning, after the man accused of supplying Beck with the dangerous medications, psychiatrist Dr. Lance Glavin, placed a call to 911. When paramedics arrived at the buffet at the Circus Circus Hotel & Casino, they found Beck sprawled across the dessert table, speaking rationally about deficit spending, and coherent on the topic of Muslims in America.

"When Beck was at the buffet, he was lucid, but he was making sound, reasonable arguments about foreign policy, politics, everything he talks about on TV, except he was making perfect sense," claimed one witness. "So something was definitely wrong."

After receiving emergency treatment, Beck was remanded to the Pasadena Recovery Center for drug rehabilitation. In a written statement, delivered on Beck's radio program by his producer, Beck expressed remorse for his actions and apologized to his fans and staff. "I am an imperfect vessel, but I promise I'll do what's necessary to reclaim the fevered paranoia that this country needs."

Beck's listeners did their part to ensure his speedy recovery, by flooding Beck's room at the Pasadena Recovery Center with blackboard chalk and pictures of President Obama as Hitler. Beck's doctors say he is "very grateful."

Read more stories like this at www.SuperTuesdayNews.com - Political satire served up daily!
  1. groups:
    Comedy
  2. tags:
    Fox News Glenn Beck Rehab
  3.     
    |

54 comments // Glenn Beck on hiatus after anti-psychotic drug binge in Vegas

more from Comedy:

top videos