Comedy | February 14, 2011 | 11 comments

ALIEN MESSAGE LOSE THE FAT OR NO SURVIVORS! Fatties given weight loss formulas that WORK! Eyewitness

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Gravity_Man
Visitor from the Pill Galaxy says to join up with them Fattie Americans must first attain an acceptable level of perfection to be worthy of their technological help.

His instructions are infallible, based on 100% scientific analyses done by our best nutrition experts.

Here are the easy-to-follow capsule formulations from this wonderful alien:.. who in an oddly deja vu sort of way rather closely recalls to us the actor Michael Rennie (Movie: "Day the Earth Stood Still" available from Netflix).

So far one man has made these capsules in his kitchen as a human test subject and has gained in ONE WEEK'S TIME 3 lbs. of fat-burning muscle with an associated remarkable reduction in abdominal waistline girth, an omen of unprecedented achievement for a 60 year old thyroid-deficient male in anyone's widest weight loss dreams. It is even being said he wakes up each day refreshed and does 500 sit-ups before breakfast! (rumors yet to be verified that smacks of Steve Reeves memories from childhood Hercules movies).

Protein powder to lower appetite.
Fat intake of your own fat satisfies appetite.
Cayenne powder dissolves fat speeds nutrient absorption.
Spirulina a high protein well-known for weight loss plus has iodine.
Oxy-Nectar fruit-veggie antioxidants fight disease & cancers + cleanses.
Apple Pectin, a diabetic-friendly soluble fiber that lowers LDL
Aloe Vera cactus speeds healing, aids elimination.
Apple Pectin for colon health.

Purchase a pill filler for 50 size 00 capsules and buy the 00 capsules.

#1 First Pill => Mix 1 cup Protein powder w/ 1 cup Apple Pectin + 7 capsules Cayenne 40,000 HU makes 300 capsules
Bypassing the stomach for intestine delivery keeps Cayenne from burning stomach lining
Take 6 caps spread through your day 2 in the morning, 2 afternoon, 2 in the evening.
Makes for a little over one Cayenne @40,000 heat units per day total.

That's your day's worth of fat burn in 6 capsules + YOUR TICKET away from hospitals.

#2 Second Pill => Mix 50% Oxy-Nectar w/ 25% Spirulina & 25% Aloe Vera (capos)

Drink more fluids through the day as all these are dry powders.

#3 No More White Table Sugar => use Xylitol in its place.

Xylitol Page => http://www.angelfire.com/az/sthurston/xylitol_natural_sweetener.html

Vitamins, nutrients & nutrition prevents anorexia from going overboard. Eat well.

Your appetite will diminish from day one taking the
above but you may find yourself needing less medicines.
Patients taking a blood thinner do not take in 4 hours from Cayenne.

Caution is advised. Diabetics can expect to gradually lower insulin dosage.

Add some alkaline-leaning foods to your diet to balance the pH.

Coconut Oil is excellent for that, plus it is an antimicrobial

+ it is a protein of very high quality that also fortifies the thyroid gland.

Mentally you need to prepare yourself for the SYSTEM SHOCK of feeling younger.

You are now being high-proteined, de-flabbed and improved peristaltic.

Gonna be a new you feeling-wise. Weight lost is your decision.

http://www.newpath4.com/pill_galaxy_alien_message_LOSE_WEIGHT_OBESE_AMERICAN_SLO...

p.s. Alien Rennie says throw away all Valentine candies & chocolates immediately he will be coming by your house to pick them up. It's used as galactic engine fuel....
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    Comedy,   Weird Science
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11 comments // ALIEN MESSAGE LOSE THE FAT OR NO SURVIVORS! Fatties given weight loss formulas that WORK! Eyewitness

  • Gravity_Man
    • 0
      Gravity_Man  
    • Earthlings! Michio Kaku the great physicist ~and world reknowned great thinker~ says human society today is a "Type 0 Civilization". If there are any aliens "out there" at all they are not Type Zero Homo Sapiens.

      Thank goodness they're Nice Folks!!!!! What'cha bet one is named Andy, and Andy has a mechanic friend named Goober? They have a sweet old Aunt Bee who will bake us some great pies. My mouth is drooling already.

    • 1 year ago
  • Gravity_Man
    • 0
      Gravity_Man  
    • Gravity_Man:

      Spirulina is one mean spoon in the mouth, way too bitter to make a person drool. Must be too much nutrition packed into it + iodine, but a very high-quality protein. Aloe Vera (capos) is also extreme bitter. Putting them in a capsule to scoot past the taste buds and do the stomach fly-by was a stroke of alien genius.

      Hafta admire those Pill People from Beyond. Rock solid muscles too!

    • 1 year ago
  • Gravity_Man
  • kennymotown
  • Gravity_Man
  • bailey78
    • +2
      bailey78  
    • Oh my GAWD I so need to get them PILLS! I to am a fat American Slob without a reason to live life as one should because of MY HUGE FAT ASS.. I am so going to call the 1-800 number that I was Given to get my pills shipped COD to Me asap. Thanks G-Man for the Link to a new Life as I have never had before :)

    • 1 year ago
  • Gravity_Man
    • +1
      Gravity_Man  
    • bailey78:

      You can't Bailey! The aliens destroyed my pill factory! Ya have to clear your head, buy a pill filler device and MAKE THEM YOSELF under cover of darkness (blankets) with flashlight in hand :) Hunker down man, man up to the task and make them from the FREE instructions => safeguard them with your FAT LIFE.

      Have the wife watch the front yard dang reptilians can shrink real small.

    • 1 year ago
  • bailey78
  • Gravity_Man
    • +1
      Gravity_Man  
    • bailey78:

      Bailey! You aren't supposed to chew em! Swallow the pills like a TEXAN, man. Gee whiz what's happened to you mon? (yeah add the mint sshhh).

      If you want to pick up a real cheap product called Chickweed it also dissolves fat along with the Cayenne. But it isn't necessary. I was trying to keep the formulas pared down to necessary ingredients not be all complicated up..

      I can't believe it! I can SEE MY TOES. They're still on my feet! The Reptilians didn't get them yet after all.

    • 1 year ago
  • Gravity_Man
    • +1
      Gravity_Man  
    • It appears the Pill Galaxy alien wants to trade weightloss formulas and insights for Valentine chocolates, to use as rocket fuel for his trip home. He said he wants to go home.

      Seems harmless enough, wanting candy PIECES. uh-oh

    • 1 year ago
  • Gravity_Man
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