Palin Demands Preemptive Apology From Everybody

WASHINGTON, DC – Before she’ll even consider entering the 2012 fold, Former Gov. Sarah Palin has one request: apologize. In a mass email sent to major news outlets, late night comics, her potential GOP rivals, and President Obama and members of his administration, Palin takes issue with the personal attacks she believes she’ll receive on the campaign trail and demands she be apologized to in advance.

The email, which was sent out on Sunday night and obtained exclusively by SuperTuesdayNews, has all the usual hallmarks of a classic Palin demand for an apology – defensive tone, passive-aggressive laugh lines, incomprehensible internet slang – with the exception of a specific event to warrant an apology. The text of the email follows:

Subject: I M outraged

"Dear _____,

It isn’t even 2012 and already it’s open season on Sarah. Even tho I haven’t made up my mind about running for president yet, I can pretty much count on you saying some very bad things about me and my awesome family if I do. If you have any sense of decency, you will pls take back the hurtful comments you were going to make and apologize to me. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. But if you have to put me down to make yourself feel big, we’ll let the voters decide if they want to elect someone so insecure, they have to resort to childish public ploys for attention. Xoxo, Sarah"

Former Gov. Mike Huckabee was the first recipient of Palin's email to issue an apology. In an official statement, Huckabee said, "I apologize profusely and unconditionally for any slight I may have made, or will make against Sarah, real or perceived, now and in perpetuity. I beg her forgiveness and hope she will still consider me to be her running mate once she wins the nomination."

Palin defended her decision to preemptively solicit apologies during an appearance on Rush Limbaugh's radio show on Monday. "After being on the receiving end of so many attacks on my character, I'm simply doing what I know is necessary. Why should I have to endure personal attacks from socialists and Republicans-In-Name-Only who don't even appreciate America? If they're so thin-skinned that they can't even apologize for something they were gonna do, then maybe they should do us all a favor and get out of politics now."

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