Comedy | April 14, 2011 | 62 comments

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction: AZ Birther Law Requires Candidates "To Describe Penis"

source: http://crooksandliars.com/nicole-belle/truth-stranger-fiction-az-birther-law

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bundlebear
This is what happens when you let the inmates run the asylum:
They don't call Arizona the "meth lab of Democracy" for nothing -- where else could a lack of foreskin prove citizenship?

The Arizona Senate formally passed the "Birther Bill" today, but not in its original version.

Apparently, requiring presidential candidates to provide a long-form birth certificate before allowing their names on the ballot in Arizona -- despite it already being a federal requirement to run for president -- was a bit too much for a few GOP lawmakers. So they made some amendments: if you can't find your birth certificate, and you have a penis, a document describing your lack (of) foreskin will suffice.

A circumcision certificate -- a document given to the parents of a male Jewish child after his foreskin is snipped off during a circumcision ceremony -- is not a legal document (see an example of one here) but if you have one, under the amended bill, it's apparently enough to prove you're a U.S. citizen and your name can be permitted on the ballot in Arizona.

Pulling out your penis in front of election officials, however, will not prove citizenship -- and, in the worst case scenario, could get labeled a sex offender.

Do I really need to be the one to tell them that Muslims males get circumcised too? Oy. I guess we need to root out all those stealthy Scandinavians planning to run for president.

You have to laugh, if only to keep from pulling all your hair out in the face of such stupidity.

http://crooksandliars.com/nicole-belle/truth-stranger-fiction-az-birther-law
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62 comments // Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction: AZ Birther Law Requires Candidates "To Describe Penis"

  • remanns
  • totally_dilapidated
  • gump
  • fernweher
  • bertfish
    • +2
      bertfish  

    • This is supremely dumb. I wonder what on Earth could have hurt Republican's so much that they'd take the birther question to such a degree of lunacy. One can only pre-suppose.
      Dear sweet republican lady's were once the picture of female perfection. In their youth they met a guy or perhaps several guys; then, as nature would have it, they married and had children. Along with their birthing a number of physical changes occured and their darling petite figure's were inexorably altered. Next to go was their husband's libedo. In this hypathetical analysis I draw frustration and the need to vent said anger. Hence, the motive of birtherism schism.

    • 1 year ago
  • lazloman
    • +3
      lazloman  

    • I think even the right wingnut trolls won't have much to say about this. Even they know this is idiocy. Most people of Judeo-Christian heritage are circumcised and that, of course, could be done anywhere in the world. Muslims are circumcised as well. A circumcised man is not by definition, an American. As a matter of fact, you can bet all of the 9/11 hijackers were clipped. This is what happens when you get to the lunatic fringe. And the rethuglicans have pushed things so far to the right, that these wackos are now mainstream. One of these days, someone on the right is simply going to have to stand up to these boneheads, set them straight and put them back in the box where they belong. Hopefully, sooner rather than later.

      And um...what about women?

    • 1 year ago
  • fernweher
    • 0
      fernweher  
    • lazloman:

      what about women? ...Well, according to this law if you don't have a penis you can make up for it with pesky paperwork like a "birth certificate." So men can just wave their junk around while women are forced to use documentation to run for office.

      In fact, since a penis is now just as good as a birth certificate, and women can only have one of those while men can have both, women must only be half as American as men!

    • 1 year ago
  • lazloman
    • 0
      lazloman  
    • fernweher:

      It just goes to show you just how stupid these birthers are. They are so hung up on keeping the President off the ballot, all logic has gone out the window. Arizona hasn't issued long form birth certificates since 1997. A circumcision document or baptismal record are not legal documents anywhere in this country. You can get on the ballot in Arizona with a note from your rabbi or priest, but a standard issue birth certificate isn't good enough. How whacked can they be?

      I just read that the governor vetoed the bill, but there may be enough legislative support for an override.

    • 1 year ago
  • madammarsh
    • 0
      madammarsh  

    • Is there any reason why a brit milah (circumcision ceremony) couldn't be performed in a different country from where the baby was born? It takes place when the baby is eight days old--plenty of time for travel. Not that anybody WOULD do that, but it's theoretically possible.

    • 1 year ago
  • TasteHi
    • +2
      TasteHi  

    • I liked the part where they all sat in a large room during a televised meeting and said "yeah I like that idea, why didn't we consider this earlier?, we could've prevented Obama from ever taking the seat......wait has his penis been checked?"

    • 1 year ago
  • BrushwithDeathToothpaste
  • TasteHi
  • Varex_Sythe
    • 0
      Varex_Sythe  

    • An even six inches erect, 2.5 when flaccid, and less than one inch when it is exposed to anything icy cold. Circumcised, unshaven, without disease, and to this day never complained about being inappropriately exposed to people in either a public or private setting.

      Do I pass? Can I run for office in Arizona now?

    • 1 year ago
  • TasteHi
    • 0
      TasteHi  
    • Varex_Sythe:

      I'm afraid your lack of indecent exposure, and to minors no doubt poses an issue with the conservative party. Maybe you should reconsider, perhaps you can run for office in a less conservative state...

    • 1 year ago
  • Arizona_Huey
  • sammykatz
    • +1
      sammykatz  

    • The author omitted yet another alternate means of identification contained in the amendment proposed by Senator Frank Antenori (R-Tucson): the BAPTISMAL certificate. Onward christian soldiers...Guess what other demographics of the population need not apply!!!!!

    • 1 year ago
  • chew_chew
  • Thargor19
    • +3
      Thargor19  

    • Of course Arizona wants men with mutilated genitals. I love my natural form and will never cut anything off of it for ANY reason.

    • 1 year ago
  • coxian_armada
  • nanac
    • +1
      nanac  

    • The people who voted for these nut-cases should have their head examined. Will female candidates be required to show their "stuff"?

    • 1 year ago
  • August_K
    • +4
      August_K  

    • I wonder if that story will make the MSM?
      People need to see how ridiculous the GOP is getting.
      You KNOW they did this because Obama is running for a second term.

      Just give AZ back to Mexico so the rest of us don't have hear about Brewer any more.

    • 1 year ago
  • Demtothecore
    • +3
      Demtothecore  

    • OK AZ I give up! LOL. Put down the pipe please! LOL. Keith Olberman it is time for you to come back because it would have been fun to see your take on this. LOL. Boys of every ethnic makeup please go to AZ now and pull out your junk and show the pervs... sorry the Az folks especially JB. She looks like she has not felt, seen or ingested one in years!

    • 1 year ago
  • mickyjon420
    • 0
      mickyjon420  

    • Not ALL American born Males Parents or American Families with males are circumcised, it's the parents choice or yours when 18. Jewish faith yes you do. This is not a slam against womanhood, this is male bashing ignorance.

    • 1 year ago
  • twinite
  • GENERALNATTY
    • 0
      GENERALNATTY  

    • well i guess you learn something new everyday i actually grew up with a lot of muslims and i had no clue they got circumsized as well

    • 1 year ago
  • August_K
  • darkmerkaba
    • -19
      darkmerkaba  

    • Well apparently AZ is doing the job the Federal government won't, AGAIN.
      If you cant prove your citizenship, you cant be a president. federal law. and one who wont show his birth certificate until AFTER he becomes a President, and then spends almost $2 million to classify his documents, shouldn't be on the ballot in the first place.

      When the hell will you current drones start demanding that the WikiLeaks douche break into King Obama's self-classified documents of his past and let the world know who he really is?

      If hes not hiding anything, then why did he spend $2 million to hide something?
      Or will this be a blasphemousness request against your King Obama?

      Is Obama the only one that you guys trust and should be free of WikiLeaks?

    • 1 year ago
  • crimethinc
  • August_K
  • UtopianSky
    • +5
      UtopianSky  
    • darkmerkaba:

      If you are dumb enough to believe his documents are classified, then I guess you are dumb enough to believe he spent $2 million to do it.

      While wikiLeaks must have some great hackers, even they can't get to classified documents that only exist in the minds of morons.

    • 1 year ago
  • Varex_Sythe
    • -1
      Varex_Sythe  
    • darkmerkaba:

      Now hold on people. I want to see why Darmerkaba thinks that the details of ones penis are in any way, shape, or form evidence of a persons citizenship. After all, the more we can learn about a persons inability to make logical connections and their ability to make insane connections, the more we come to understand the inner workings of the human mind, not only in all of it's greatness, but also in all of it's disfunction.

    • 1 year ago
  • jesus_is_a_liberal
  • lazloman
  • lazloman
  • figgdimension
  • sammykatz
  • figgdimension
  • sammykatz
  • figgdimension
  • figgdimension
  • August_K
  • figgdimension
  • Stoneyroad
  • coolplanet
  • vaxart
  • coolplanet
  • figgdimension
  • August_K
  • Stoneyroad
  • altair83
  • sammykatz
  • sammykatz
    • 0
      sammykatz  

    • In describing one's member, is that at rest? at attention? sheathed? unsheathed? This is a very prick-ly subject that we probably do not want to address with our usual hands on approach!!!

    • 1 year ago
  • KB723
  • _doja_
  • rodstradamus
    • -14
      rodstradamus  
    • Image

    • Forget about where he was born (not USA) wait till you find out that he's 3rd Generation CIA! If anyone does any actual research on this Manchurian Candidate, its an inevitable fact. Thank you Wayne Madsen, I know they want to kill you before you publish the book, so here's a link to the bombshell report to help spread the word.

      http://www.infowars.com/bombshell-barack-obama-conclusively-outed-as-cia-creatio...
      First couple paragraphs:

      Investigative journalist Wayne Madsen has discovered CIA files that document the agency’s connections to institutions and individuals figuring prominently in the lives of Barack Obama and his mother, father, grandmother, and stepfather. The first part of his report highlights the connections between Barack Obama, Sr. and the CIA-sponsored operations in Kenya to counter rising Soviet and Chinese influence among student circles and, beyond, to create conditions obstructing the emergence of independent African leaders.

      President Obama’s own work in 1983 for Business International Corporation, a CIA front that conducted seminars with the world’s most powerful leaders and used journalists as agents abroad, dovetails with CIA espionage activities conducted by his mother, Stanley Ann Dunham in 1960s post-coup Indonesia on behalf of a number of CIA front operations, including the East-West Center at the University of Hawaii, the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), and the Ford Foundation. Dunham met and married Lolo Soetoro, Obama’s stepfather, at the East-West Center in 1965. Soetoro was recalled to Indonesia in 1965 to serve as a senior army officer and assist General Suharto and the CIA in the bloody overthrow of President Sukarno.

      Hell yea! Wake up to the New World Order, the Federal Reserve and 9/11 Truth. You're weak and I'm trying to make you strong by stepping up your research game. Knowledge is power b!tches!

    • 1 year ago
  • UtopianSky
  • corderodedios
  • corderodedios
    • -1
      corderodedios  
    • rodstradamus:

      In any event, it's a great story. And, what a great intro - the Arizona penis description law. This is Lewis Black stuff. In fact, we don't even need Lewis for this. I voted you up.

      But let's not forget we need to figure out what is to be done.

    • 1 year ago
  • sammykatz
  • xena
  • SamFL
  • FoosMaster
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