Trump Unable to Produce Certificate Proving He's Not a Festering Pile of Shit
source: http://www.theonion.com/articles/trump-unable-to-produce-certificate-proving-hes-no,20250/
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- EthicalVegan
- added this
April 27, 2011
HEADLINE ONLY...
Trump Unable To Produce Certificate Proving He's Not A Festering Pile Of Shit
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- groups:
- Community, News and Politics, Entertainment, Culture, 14 more
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sugarlilly
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you can see the birth certificate AFTER we speak to your barber trump!
- 1 year ago
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sugarlilly
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MariaClariza_Espela
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"This was a highest position that he will do releasing a certificate with he's signature.he....he----he____."^ ^;...
- 1 year ago
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MariaClariza_Espela
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totally_dilapidated
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People talk about Trump's hair. How come nobody talks about the way he's always forming his lips in a
" I'm ready for you guys now" - 1 year ago
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totally_dilapidated
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ninetyseven
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President pee knuckle trump.
- 1 year ago
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ninetyseven
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ninetyseven
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no need to produce a certificate.....just speaking is proof enough.
- 1 year ago
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ninetyseven
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Johnny_Los_Angeles
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ROFL ROFL LMAO!
- 1 year ago
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Johnny_Los_Angeles
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onemalefla [removed]
- This comment was removed as a violation of community guidelines.
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onemalefla [removed]
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pollie_graff
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onemalefla:
Comb over meets Bumpit
- 1 year ago
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pollie_graff
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WagonMaster
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WAIT...WAIT...I have a copy of that Certificate !!
- 1 year ago
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WagonMaster
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gatormouth
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By continuing his attacks on after the presentation of Obama's birth certificate he now qualifies as an After-Birther.
- 1 year ago
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gatormouth
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figlatin
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here is a video that proves he's a festering pile of shit and that some of our fellow Americans are horrifying and deserving of disdain.
- 1 year ago
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figlatin
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lukea925
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seems to have a vagina on his neck. think hed have the cash to fix that.
- 1 year ago
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lukea925
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EdJoyProductions
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lukea925:
LOL, good observation!
- 1 year ago
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EdJoyProductions
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hoosierdaddy
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Also, what country was his hair born in?
- 1 year ago
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hoosierdaddy
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Omle_Du_Fromage
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hoosierdaddy:
The back of his head. But it got a green card to work at the front of his head.
- 1 year ago
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Omle_Du_Fromage
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damush
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He does that doo-doo of doo-doo he doo-doo's, so well!
- 1 year ago
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damush
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thedirtman
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Lot's of people are talking about this and it has become a very serious issue. Why doesn't he just provide the proof so that we know he is not a festering pile of @#*& !
- 1 year ago
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thedirtman
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mspray11
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Isn't he suppose to have a wild game license for whatever the hell is on his head?
- 1 year ago
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mspray11
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mii
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Not convinced Mr. Trump is a festering pile of s*#*,
but not sure about that curiosity on his head. - 1 year ago
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mii
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extracrazykiwi2008
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Love it!
- 1 year ago
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extracrazykiwi2008
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BenjaminDover
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A festering pile of shit in a gold toilet is still a festering pile of shit (with a wig made of fuzz shaved from a yaks asshole).
- 1 year ago
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BenjaminDover
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spotlighting
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Watched Rev Graham on Fox discussing why he didn't like our President.
Thought there was something about separation of church and state.
Can someone fill me in on this? - 1 year ago
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spotlighting
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bike10
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You can one thing for Trump he never knows how to tell the truth.
- 1 year ago
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bike10
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KSirys
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Great story, voted up!!
- 1 year ago
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KSirys
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GENERALNATTY
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Ive personally sent investigators too new york to check up on his birth certificate , and i gotta tell you guys , they cant believe what they're finding.
- 1 year ago
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GENERALNATTY
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OrchidBlack
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GENERALNATTY:
bwahahahahaha
- 1 year ago
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OrchidBlack
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gatormouth
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OrchidBlack:
Run, run, or you'll be well done?
- 1 year ago
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gatormouth
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chew_chew
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I don't understand. Why won't Mr Trump just produce the certificate? If he would just produce the certificate, it would clear this right up. Why won't Mr Trump produce the certificate? What does he have to hide?
- 1 year ago
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chew_chew
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spotlighting
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chew_chew:
He made a deal that he would show his tax returns if Obama would show the long birth certificate. Is he pulling out of a Deal?
- 1 year ago
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spotlighting
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Demtothecore
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spotlighting:
Spotlighting that ugly hebitch wrote a check his ugly ass cannot cash. Let him crash and burn. It is way past time!
- 1 year ago
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Demtothecore
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Jennifer_Guinn
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chew_chew:
His bald spot, maybe??
- 1 year ago
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Jennifer_Guinn
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EdJoyProductions
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Excellent reporting EthicalVegan! :D
- 1 year ago
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EdJoyProductions
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coolplanet
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What a GREAT headline!
And SO true. - 1 year ago
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coolplanet
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Paratus
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I love The Onion. Where else can I print out such a perfect bottom for the bird cage. The racist, hateful left in action again. It's a pleasure to know that in this world of constant change there are some things that don't change.
- 1 year ago
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Paratus
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kgMA
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Paratus:
Pet vultures must be a bitch to keep! Look, when you get a steady diet of racism, hate, lies, and bullshit, from the right, you're bound to pick up a few bad habits along the way!
We were just under the assumption that this type of criticism was something you on the right would understand and respect! If your offended, try reruns of Glen Beck! BTW! Trump is a blowhard! - 1 year ago
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kgMA
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ozoneocean
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Paratus:
LOL.
Sorry dude. The right can't get out of being racist by throwing that name at others. It's all very well to make that claim, but without actual examples of it, like Trump's continued attacks on black people, it's nothing but the emty squeels of a stupid child. - 1 year ago
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ozoneocean
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vixxxen618
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Paratus:
Oh, yes, because there has been a huge racists campaign launched against Donald Trump for no reason at all other than he's white. Give me a break, you're as delusional as he is. Nobody gave a shit about him until he started accusing the president of complete silliness. What you are seeing is a reaction to his intelligence level, not the color of his skin. But great false comparison...
- 1 year ago
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vixxxen618
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Jennifer_Guinn
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Paratus:
Since when is the left racist?? We are not the ones that illegally trucked in people who needed work solely for our own profit and then go around and have them publically harassed and deported to make ourselves feel superior..
- 1 year ago
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Jennifer_Guinn
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Jennifer_Guinn
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kgMA:
I still don't get where the racisct remark comes from. Did I miss something?
- 1 year ago
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Jennifer_Guinn
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Molotov
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I'm sure the ratings the for apprentice have gone up
- 1 year ago
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Molotov
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BenjaminDover
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Molotov:
I hear they're down 20% since he opened his trap.
- 1 year ago
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BenjaminDover
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ericreinert
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I've never seen such a handsome orange man before. He actually looks like a corpse after the funeral parlor has stepped in and fixed him up for viewing in a casket.
- 1 year ago
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ericreinert
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grammabet
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No such certificate ever existed and never will as long as he continues to prove he is a festering pile of shit.
- 1 year ago
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grammabet
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mikeharper
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Unlike the racist right....I'm perfectly willing to believe what I see....
- 1 year ago
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mikeharper
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thedirtman
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I heard it. Therefore, it must be true.
- 1 year ago
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thedirtman
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vixxxen618
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I found it! I found the proof!
- 1 year ago
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vixxxen618
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KB723
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This is News????
- 1 year ago
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KB723
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madjik68
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KB723:
Not really, but I found it to be more entertaining than the royal wedding. Even in these troubling times, we still need to find time to laugh. :)
- 1 year ago
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madjik68
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spotlighting
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madjik68:
I am soooo sick of this Royal Wedding thing. With our people having a hard time getting what they need to survive, it must hurt to see all this going on when the people in the States are unemployed and out of work.
It is just a money making deal for the royals. They are selling just about everything to make money from people that don't even realize whats going on.
Americans are helping to pay for this wedding!!!!
We don't live that way!!! Don't need to see all that crap!!!!!! - 1 year ago
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spotlighting
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Vierotchka
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spotlighting:
It is not the Royal Family who will be making all that money, it is hundreds of businesses and tens of thousands of workers.
- 1 year ago
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Vierotchka
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kgMA
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spotlighting:
Same here! I'm waiting for rose petals to fall from the heavens when one of these ROYALS has a dump! These ROYALS and their past family members have killed thousands over the centuries, all in the name of the king or the queen, and God! Not to mention the money and land they claimed as rightfully theirs! Don't we have better things to watch? Like the crooks who want to take away SS, Medicare, & Health Care? We have our own ROYALS here in America that need watching!
- 1 year ago
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kgMA
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KB723
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madjik68:
Oh Okay... I agree... But I am Not laughing.... I think that's just me.... =(
- 1 year ago
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KB723
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Jennifer_Guinn
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kgMA:
Yeah, Royal US Assholes. Let them have their pageantry over in Britain. Maybe it takes people's pain away to dream a little. We still have it tons better than most of the world. I just wish people were self-sufficient like we were in the 50's. Everybody should be able to grow their own food and even produce their own power.
- 1 year ago
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Jennifer_Guinn
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Incredulous
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LMAO! Nice post EV...
- 1 year ago
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Incredulous
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GENERALNATTY
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WOW @ 612000 people sharing this headline on facebook alone , just wow lol
- 1 year ago
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GENERALNATTY
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RMattnerTours
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Wrong, he does have proof, it's on top of his head. It's called a comb over.
- 1 year ago
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RMattnerTours
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jennilamb007
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There is a radio station in Springfield, MO called KGBX that has a morning show with Woody P Snow and Janet Lane that is nothing but a huge, disgusting love-fest for Donald Trump. I made a statement that this issue with President Obama's birth certificate was nothing more than a vicious 2 and a half year attack and racially motivated. Of course, being in SW Missouri, I am in the major minority. Here is what he said to me: "Woody P wrote: "Jennifer, just because millions of tax payers are concerned that the Marxist presently occupying our White House is leading the USA to ruin does not make them racists and it diminishes your standing to make such rash statements. Now try to think clearly & stay on point without ranting, if possible."
Now, this is not a politcal talk show, but rather what I suppose passes for entertainment in Springfield. This kind of crap is said day in and day out on this show. It is ridiculous. What burns me is that they will say things that have a blatant racial overtone or at the very least one of an egocentric "i've got mine, screw you" mentality and no one cares that another point of view cannot be expressed. No where in all of Springfield do you ever hear a differing point of view. They have the nerve to say that liberals are Marxist when they are perfectly a-ok with dominating the air waves without giving equal time and bashing the opposing view point. Sorry, I am angry about this. Can someone help me compile a list of things that I could present to this pair of idiots that show that yes, indeed, the tea bagger brouhaha is definitely racist?
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
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Leen61
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jennilamb007:
For starters, for your list, Obama is the ONLY president that has had to prove he's a citizen of the USA and produce his birth certificate.
- 1 year ago
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Leen61
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wayseeker
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jennilamb007:
MSNBC has stated that these extreme right- wing bigoted bastards with their enormous amounts of corporate money have taken over 90% of the airtime in this country. With this kind of leverage there's no arguing with them because they could care less what a liberal has to say. We've got to take the airways back.
- 1 year ago
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wayseeker
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jennilamb007
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Leen61:
Thank you Leen. I thought so, but I am so wound up that I wanted someone else to check me before, as Woody said, I go off on another rant. I didn't realize that to state a proven fact was a rant, but I digress. I just talked to my mom and told her "I must be stupid. I am arguing with a one-hit wonder, wishes he could be an actor, washed out old fool who has a radio show in Springfield, Missouri". I should have remembered myself and stayed away from what I know is a tea bagging festival of fools.
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
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jennilamb007
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wayseeker:
I did radio back when I didn't care if I made a living or not and when I worked there it was stressed that you had to give equal time when making a political statement. That doesn't happen any more. Where I live, there are zero, ZERO, radio stations that don't tout the same garbage that Faux news is preaching. I don't turn on a radio in this area anymore, unless it is for severe weather and I turn to KTTS because they are very good at it and frankly I don't hear them get political during a normal broadcast day. I have Sirius and I am glad because I can detox from the garbage I hear day in and day out. Maybe I am ranting but how can people be informed properly when there are only opinions and not real news? I'm sad that broadcast journalism is a thing of the past.
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
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wayseeker
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jennilamb007:
What makes the situation even worse is what's coming over the conservative controlled airways are mainly exaggerations and lies.
- 1 year ago
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wayseeker
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Leen61
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jennilamb007:
jenn,
It's easy to get worked up by these idiots! - 1 year ago
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Leen61
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jennilamb007
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Leen61:
I know. It's like during the election time and I had no escape from it in the local media. I found Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow and Chris Matthews at that time. I found out I wasn't alone. They talked me down many nights. I wish there was one, just one, radio station that would give a different point of view.
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
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jennilamb007
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wayseeker:
I know. They make up things and inflame their listening audience. It's pathetic. They will say things that are obviously racist, sexist or any other ist you can think of and then cry foul when you call them on it. It's enough to make you feel like you have gone mad.
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
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Leen61
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jennilamb007:
I know, jenn. There should be at least one radio station with a different point of view. But I have the same problem in my area. It's all Clear Channel. That's why I watch Keith and Rachel.
- 1 year ago
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Leen61
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jennilamb007
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Leen61:
The crap radio station I was talking about is a Clear Channel radio station. The other big group is Journal Broadcast Group, but their station here is really good actually. Very unbiased.
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
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Plue
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jennilamb007:
All you can do Jenn is put the facts out there. If the fools refuse to open their mids then they are diminished. You must not let them diminish you. Find information and truth where you can and always question (even points of view you agree with). Also remaember that we are here for you and if Rachel and Keith can't talk you down then we will try or listen to you vent. Take care sister in spirit. :-)
- 1 year ago
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Plue
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Leen61
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jennilamb007:
That's good for you because the Journal Broadcast Group in my town is right wing...yuk!
- 1 year ago
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Leen61
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Joeydee44
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jennilamb007:
I recommend a DVD player or satellite radio. Nothing you say will change those hillbillies' minds.
- 1 year ago
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Joeydee44
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spotlighting
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jennilamb007:
I totally agree with your statement. Was trying to watch my favorite cSpan station this afternoon and they had 2 right wing nuts on cSpan I total thought this station was neutral.
I sent an email to cSpan to try to get these nuts off the public station. - 1 year ago
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spotlighting
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spotlighting
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jennilamb007:
I watch the same programs, but wonder sometimes I just get madder.
Sometimes I wonder if the regular people will ever have a chance.
The Republicans seem to be taken over our entire lives.
Look at Michigan-all the elected people in some areas have been replaced with a certain kind of manager. Elections meant nothing.This is just a beginning. Hope we can make the big change next election and remove these dictators. - 1 year ago
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spotlighting
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jennilamb007
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Joeydee44:
You are absolutely right. Nothing I say changes it. One woman was spouting off about Nancy Pelosi being a "flaming socialist". I nearly peed from laughing. This is from a woman who is in a class of people, myself included, who has utilized public schools, the public library, driven on interstate highways, wants the fire department to put out a fire if their home is ablaze, catch a crimal that invades their house, expects the road crews to keep the ice and snow off her street and has a parent on Medicare. Not to mention the yokels whose kids are utilizing free school lunches. I make enough that my family doesn't need medicaid and subsidized school lunches and my daughter goes to a private school but there are loads of people who do have those things and then go out and call President Obama a Marxist, Socialist, Nazi, (whatever else is in order for the day). How are they going to feel when they lose all of that because they vote republican? I had on shill say to me "just because tax payers have to pay for all those social programs doesn't mean we want to live in a Marxist society" then went on to say "just cause your raped in prison doesn't make you gay". This is the level of intelligence I am dealing with in Springfield, Missouri. Gross.
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
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GeneSurber
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jennilamb007:
Would love to, but sadly, I don't think that it would matter... People like that just don't give a shit.
- 1 year ago
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GeneSurber
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kgMA
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jennilamb007:
America Left.. XM 167... 12 station buttons, all set to 167! It works for me!
- 1 year ago
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kgMA
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BenjaminDover
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kgMA:
SiriusXM is moving Left to 127 next week and renaming it 127 SiriusXM Left Liberal Talk. The line up is changing with Bill Press from 6-7 AM, Alex Bennett 7-9, Stephanie Miller 9-noon, Big Ed Shultz 12-3 and Thom Hartmann from 3-6PM, then Mark Thompson,and Mike Malloy . Lynn Samuels seems to have disappeared from the schedule.
- 1 year ago
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BenjaminDover
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Jennifer_Guinn
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wayseeker:
And our impressionable youth has mainstream media spewing racist, selfish, self-serving BS at them. No wonder we have kids out of touch with basic humane treatment of each other... animals... us when we get old..... Hate to see where this will lead our future decision makers. It is OK to not take care of our young, our old, our sick, helpless animals - exploit them and take what you can get is the attitude our Ayn Randians are touting. Sad and frightening.
- 1 year ago
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Jennifer_Guinn
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jennilamb007
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BenjaminDover:
Thank you. It will be a life saver.
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
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jennilamb007
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kgMA:
Thank you for the station information
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
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vixxxen618
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That was good. I got a good laugh. But really... that comb-over is out of control.
- 1 year ago
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vixxxen618
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eternal_springs
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Hey look! It's the original re-birther!!
- 1 year ago
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eternal_springs
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eden49
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...can Hair Force None, please leave the Building...
- 1 year ago
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eden49
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jennilamb007
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eden49:
Hair Force None. LOL. I have felt like crap all day and that made my night. Thank you.
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
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vixxxen618
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XasthurNortt:
Quit spamming this shitty post all over the place.
- 1 year ago
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vixxxen618
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TypeMemeHere [removed]
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XasthurNortt: This comment was removed by its owner.
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TypeMemeHere [removed]
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jennilamb007
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TypeMemeHere:
You know, I was thinking the same thing? What was his other name? The one after Ayipsis?
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
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Incredulous
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jennilamb007:
there have been so many...we lose track, but he's easy enough to spot once he opens his mouth, and he has a definite penchant for racist avatars...
- 1 year ago
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Incredulous
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Incredulous
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ThirdSection:
awesome come back!
- 1 year ago
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Incredulous
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GeneSurber
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XasthurNortt:
1.) First FAIL: Obama, or "They" never said a long form did not exist. Show me the direct quote from someone in the Obama administration saying such. It was always stated that the long form was in a vault, along with everyone else's long form and that what they had previously released was what Hawaii gave to anyone and everyone who asked for their birth certificate.
2.) Adobe Illustrator will find all the text within the document and separate that from the background. One problem, as anyone who has ever worked in Illustrator or Photoshop will tell you, is that it does this rather sloppily. Take a pdf into Illustrator and you will quickly recognize what i'm saying, if that is a pdf of a scanned document.
3.) Ok, so separate all the layers... through using the isolate clipping mask... and you will note that a majority (not all) of the text will separate from the page/background. Ooooo... looks scary and must be proof of a Psy-Ops conspiracy! Omg, look at how all those words move around on the page!!!!! The thing was never flattened after it was scanned in!!!! OMG!!!
4.) Ok, before you piss your britches, look at what is on the page behind the text. You will quickly discern that white spaces are left where the black typed words were... choppy outlines of the black text. Now why would it do that? i mean, surely if you had forged the document, then you would use all the different type writers to type onto your created background, wouldn't you?!!!
5.) No, our forgers were downright meticulous. Because not only did they forge the text itself (those bastards!) but they also were able to create a perfect forgery of the background itself that mimics perfectly the black text that was over it! Why, this is just what you would get if it had been a scanned OCR document... why would you get it? Well because the scanner can't see through the blocks of text to create a background (you know the green lined thingy) behind the words. How ingenious! They not only forged the actual text, but they forged the very imprint of the text onto the paper! No wonder Obama was laughing... his forgers are fucking brilliant! They can not only create type written text, but then they can go further and imprint those very words into the paper itself!!! OMG.
6.) Okay, Okay... sure man, what ever... but obviously what the forgers did was get their grimy hands on a real birth certificate and then just typed Barak HUSSEIN Obama's information over it, right? Hmm... Well... the white spaces clearly show that they match word for word, letter for letter, those that were typed and so recently separated over them... except of course those few errant characters that the program (Illustrator) is confusing with the background itself.
7.) ... so, in conclusion... this is a Conspiracy Theory FAIL. Why? Because the fucktards are not quite the experts they would have you believe they are in Adobe Illustrator, know very little about portable document format to begin with and their handling in vector based programs, and are just bigoted fucktards trying to delegitimize the Obama presidency.
- 1 year ago
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GeneSurber
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TypeMemeHere [removed]
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jennilamb007: This comment was removed by its owner.
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TypeMemeHere [removed]
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Leen61
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ThirdSection:
Alright! Monty Python! Spam! Spam! Spam! +^d!
- 1 year ago
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Leen61
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Plue
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GeneSurber:
Touche
- 1 year ago
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Plue
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Plue
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Leen61:
Love me some Monty Python! :-)
- 1 year ago
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Plue
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Leen61
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Plue:
Alright! You too, Plue! :) Cool!
- 1 year ago
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Leen61
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grammabet
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XasthurNortt:
Just because you took your glasses off doesn't mean we don't recognize you justice Clarence Thomas.Your remarks proves your identity.Ewwww,confused Jennie loves you though.
- 1 year ago
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grammabet
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jennilamb007
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grammabet:
You don't mean me do you? LOL
You're right. I love him, can't live without him.
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
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jennilamb007
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TypeMemeHere:
Hidonka.....ROTFLMAO. Sounds like "Hi, donkey".
- 1 year ago
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jennilamb007
