New Republican Candidate
source: http://www.borowitzreport.com
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- Hardytoo
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Libyan Madman Turns Up in New Hampshire
CONCORD, NH (The Borowitz Report) – The mystery surrounding Col. Muammar Gaddafi’s whereabouts was resolved today as the dictator announced his candidacy for the Republican presidential nomination in a town hall meeting in Concord, New Hampshire.
In announcing his candidacy, the Libyan madman joins a Republican field which is believed to number in excess of seven hundred candidates.
While some New Hampshire Republicans seemed surprised to see Col. Gaddafi shaking hands and kissing babies at the Concord town hall, an aide to the Libyan strongman said his transformation to GOP candidate made perfect sense.
“In those final days in Tripoli he was becoming increasingly disconnected from reality,” said the aide. “So I think he’ll fit right in.”
Mr. Gaddafi, dressed in his trademark yellow turban and matching robe, got mixed reviews in his first appearance on the campaign trail, with some New Hampshire citizens saying that his six-hour stump speech was badly in need of pruning.
Additionally, some felt that his rhetoric needed to be toned down, especially his closing line about fighting for the Republican nomination “until the last drop of blood.”
But others gave him high marks for his grasp of history and geography, which most agreed was stronger than Michele Bachmann’s.
Perhaps underscoring the challenges that lie ahead for Mr. Gaddafi in his quest for the GOP nod, current polls show him in the back of the pack, leading former Senator Rick Santorum but trailing the pizza guy.
“Unfortunately for Muammar Gaddafi, he might be out of step with the current crop of Republican candidates,” one pollster said. “There’s a perception that he’s too moderate.
http://www.borowitzreport.com
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GoodGodGuy
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Breaking News.
- 9 months ago
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GoodGodGuy
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Richard_Wyatt
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rofl to fucking funny but oh so true
- 9 months ago
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Richard_Wyatt
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Leen61
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He will fit right in....the freak show continues. Next year, we will be living in a all out "Idiocracy."
- 9 months ago
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Leen61
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Progresshiv
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Yes, h is a bit too moderate to fit in.
- 9 months ago
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Progresshiv
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Frosty46
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This new guy is a little reserved for the Republican ticket but once he overcomes this shyness he should fit in well. He has the torture credentials, right connections to illegal traders, strong connections to organised crime syndicates like the Bush Family, and he's a fancy dresser---------I'd say shoe in!
- 9 months ago
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Frosty46
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EthicalVegan
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Frosty46:
Sadly laughing.
- 9 months ago
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EthicalVegan
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nanac
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Gaddafi should fit right in with the nutty TP/GOP candidates, unless he has a difficult time trying to out lie the others. Bachmann, and Perry are running neck & neck, when it comes to lying, however the others are not far behind. Sarah Palin announced her new bus tour on the day that Gaddafi entered the race, trying to steal the spotlight as usual. Ron Paul has disappeared completely from the picture.
- 9 months ago
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nanac
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ThirdSection
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He seems level-headed for a GOP candidate, but will he cut my taxes some more?
- 9 months ago
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ThirdSection
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EdJoyProductions
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ThirdSection:
With a machete.
- 9 months ago
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EdJoyProductions
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cmc101
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EdJoyProductions:
hehehehe:>)
- 9 months ago
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cmc101
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chew_chew
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Well, at least their candidates are getting a little more sane.
- 9 months ago
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chew_chew
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lazloman
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chew_chew:
Argh! You beat me to it! :)
- 9 months ago
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lazloman
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figgdimension
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damn he had a night like i had
- 9 months ago
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figgdimension
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Buckeye_Bill
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He SURE does LQQk like "death warmed over".
- 9 months ago
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Buckeye_Bill
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EdJoyProductions
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Well, he is a snazzier dresser than the other re thug candidates and he does not pretend that he won't kill people to get what he wants. I like his honesty.
Dubya only ran businesses into the ground prior to getting elected. Muammar fucked up a whole country. That is proven leadership by republican standards. Too bad he is not a citizen.... oh, they don't ask republicans for birth certificates, do they?
- 9 months ago
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EdJoyProductions
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kennymotown
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Perfect candidate!
- 9 months ago
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kennymotown
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Hardytoo
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kennymotown:
Wait til they try to interrupt his very lengthy speech... wonder who will bring the hook to get 'im off the stage.
- 9 months ago
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Hardytoo
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kennymotown
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Hardytoo:
Good question, maybe NATO! :)
- 9 months ago
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kennymotown
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Buckeye_Bill
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This is the "new face" of the Republican Party!
Well, it's an old face...but it's new to the Teavangelista Party!
They haven't "seen" him for a long, long time!
LOL
- 9 months ago
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Buckeye_Bill
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EthicalVegan
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He'd fit right in with the rest of them.
[Glad to see you read The Borowitz Report, too!]
- 9 months ago
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EthicalVegan
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Hardytoo
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EthicalVegan:
Get his newsletter as often as he sends them. This one is priceless. Gave me my needed morning laugh.
- 9 months ago
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Hardytoo
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KB723
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What The???
- 9 months ago
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KB723
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Hardytoo
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"Ahead of Santorum but trailing the pizza guy...."
- 9 months ago
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Hardytoo
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Buckeye_Bill
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Hardytoo:
Haven't you heard? Santorum came down with a bad bout of balanitis!
LOL
Oh, no! I didn't type this, did I?
I'm a baaad boy! Well, bury me face down, I like to be "facing" where I'm headed! (Edited)
}:^)
- 9 months ago
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Buckeye_Bill
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Hardytoo
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Buckeye_Bill:
Oh, no - poor little Rickie!!
Hilarious, Bill. Thanks. - 9 months ago
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Hardytoo
