And speaking of Jews, Hebrews and Isrealites...

And speaking of Jews, Hebrews and Isrealites, I happen to have the "skinny" on who was called what when! So many educated folk get confused as to when Jews became Jews, which opens up the question, "Where did the Hebrews get off to?", or "When did the Hebrews change their tribal name to Isrealites?". I shall share the story that I authored about the...

"History of the Names"

For your perusal....

"This is my knowledge concerning the names Hebrews, Isrealites and Jews. First, they were known only as "God's people", descending down from Abraham until one day they went off to Egypt and that's when the Pharaoh's subjects began to call them "Hebrews" since there is mounting evidence that there were no "slaves" used to build the Pyramids, I assume the name was born from their expertise in the making of "beer". All along the River Nile, the people heard the stories about that "real beer" that was being brewed in Egypt. Egyptians went around complimenting how well *Barak Be'eri made his beer and that it kicked like "lightening"! They would say, "He brews the BEST!" "He brews" gravitated into one word, "Hebrews" because when one knocks down a couple of Barak's brew, your tongue would stick to your teeth. He must have been an expert brewmaster, too, since beer became THE favorite beverage in all of Egypt! So much money was made that one day he realized a dream he had could possibly come true and asked his fellow brewers, "Hey, fellow brewmasters, let's see if we can find some real estate of our own!". So they packed up their belongings and went shopping for some real estate. It didn't take long before they came across a beautiful parcel of property. So, they negotiated a price, which incidently required a large amount of their beer as partial payment for their new home. Then one of them asked, "What should we call this new "land"?" Another answered, "Why, we'll name it after our beer, "It's Real Beer!". Which, not surprisingly, shrank to "Isreal Beer", since after drinking a few you start to heavily slur your speech.

This must sound like a fanstastic story, especially if this is the first time you've heard it, but it's true! All true! Would I Josh Ua?

Some of the wives got together and discouraged their neighbors from calling them, the new residents, Hebrews because the wives considered it a derogatory name due to the fact that it was associated with beer and drinking it.

So the men retaliated by, when they imbibed a little too much, crying out to their bitchy wives, "Stop! I'm getting tired of hearing you chew me out for drinking my beer, woman!".

Well, after all the commotion day in and day out, those same neighbors started calling them "Jews", mistaking the word "Jew" for "chew"! For years after being called Jews, it stuck for all time! Even to this day!

Ironic though, that their wives hated the name Hebrew, since that's what brung 'em out of Egypt in the first place since that's how they spoke of Barak, "He brews the best beer!".

Prohibitionists always spoil a good keg PAR-TEE!

The word "Hebrew" is considered derogatory by Jews today, mainly because they had some teatotallers that objected to it!

And the MOST amazing story of all? It's STILL brewed to this day!

He'Brew....The Chosen Beer!

Believe it or not!

*Barak - Actually means "lightening" in the Hebrew language!


The above story is a satire or parody, or satirically sarcastic parody. It is positively, without a doubt, purely FICTITIOUS! Honest!