An Interview With GOD?

This is the transcript of a September interview that took place between journalist Wesley Ericson of “Why?” magazine and God. It is the only known interview with God that seems to exist.

Wesley: First and foremost I appreciate you taking the time out of your schedule to sit with me and allow us access for the magazine.

God: No problem.

Wesley: I think people are pretty anxious to hear some of your thoughts on more than a few subjects, so if you don’t mind I’m just gonna jump right in.

God: Please do.

Wesley: Why now? It seems that you could have done this interview at any time either past or future.

God: I am actually giving this interview beyond the confines of time. It’s a one off that will be experienced in past, present and future.

Wesley: So there is nothing special about this specific time in history?

God: No, not particularly. I mean, I’m sure it feels special to you.

Wesley: I’m comforted to know there is a future, there’s lots of speculation about the end. Can you clarify things for us?

God: I just read an article that was saying that people enjoy books and stories more when they know the end. That it allows them the freedom to enjoy the story without the anxiety of what will happen if they know ultimately where it’s going.

Wesley: So, you’ll tell us.

God: No. The article is wrong. The study happened to be performed on neurotic control freaks. In essence I would be feeding a negative neurotic behavior by letting people know the end. But you know how it ends.

Wesley: We die?

God: Of course it isn’t that simple. By dying you live forever.

Wesley: How does that work?

God: You are eternal. Life is eternal, but it isn’t permanent. It’s a regenerative process.

Wesley: You mean I die and am reborn?

God: You die and you are transferred into something else that lives. Thus you’re part of the eternal flow. Which reminds me, I don’t know why you’ve decided to be buried in boxes. The whole point is that your death creates life as it decays.

Wesley: We thought you wanted us whole.

God: Why would I want you at all? Where would I put you all?

Wesley: In the infinite space of heaven?

God: (Chuckling) Well, that’s one way to think.

Wesley: That’s wrong?

God: You are part of the delicate balance that is life. You can not be removed from it, nor should you want to be.

Wesley: No heaven when we die?

God: Sure. You get to be part of the cycle forever free of physical constraints and limitations. Is that not a heavenly thought?

Wesley: We’ve been promised riches and comfort and streets paved in gold and every desire fulfilled.

God: Really? That sounds pretty shallow.

Wesley: I guess it does.

God: There is no you when you die, anyway, so that shouldn’t be a concern.

Wesley: No soul?

God: You are only what you think yourself to be. It’s the ego that controls your sense of you. When you die so does your sense of individuality. You become a billion little individuals. When I came up with this premise I was really stoned so it’s hard for me now to explain. Plus your language doesn’t really have the words to express the idea properly.

Wesley: A billion individuals?

God: You lose YOUR sense of self, created by the ego. What you are is a group of particles that form your whole being. The way that you are an individual part of a larger group that also has its own identity. So, you can be operating without the knowledge of the group but you are still part of the group.

Wesley: So there are conscious parts of me that I don’t know are existing?

God: Of course. Every particle is conscious on its own.

Wesley: You must be aware that these explanations seem to fly in the face of religious groups that believe in you the most.

God: The most? Again, that is a function of an ill ego. This is the simplest way I can put it. Anything that serves to separate is wrong. The idea is connection not separation. If you do something the “most” that is separating yourself from others. It’s also pretty clearly rooted to some insecurity that usually has nothing to do with me.

Wesley: Would you say that religions serve no purpose?

God: Of course they serve a purpose. Everything serves a purpose. Just breathing serves purpose. A tree in the wind is serving a purpose. The purpose they are serving should be questioned maybe.

Wesley: Maybe this interview will change some behaviors.

God: I doubt it.

Wesley: What should we be doing? Is there a specific thing we should be doing? With this time.

God: Your purpose is just to die so that life can continue forever.

Wesley: I don’t think people will like that answer.

God: Some people will never be satisfied. That’s part of this condition.

Wesley: Condition?

God: Life.

Wesley: You mentioned earlier that you were stoned. Is that something that happens a lot? I think that will be a big surprise to our readers.

God: It’s something that I do in phases. I’ve had some phases where I can become pretty habitual and other times I won’t touch it for awhile.

Wesley: What are we talking about? Marijuana? Alcohol? What’s your preference?

God: It’s really anything that can alter my reality. I can become very obsessive at times and it seems to help me see things in a different light.

Wesley: I’m sorry. I’m a bit shocked by that. I assumed you would be all knowing and can see things in every reality.

God: I can. Through drugs.

Wesley: Can we then, too?

God: Sure.

Wesley: Why is it illegal?

God: You have to ask your leaders.

Wesley: But aren’t you the ultimate leader?

God: Those guys don’t listen to me. They have their agendas and I don’t quite match up with them.

Wesley: Can you be more specific? Especially because a lot of these guys come to power based on the fact that they believe in you.

God: I’m not going to throw stones. But as I said previously, anytime there is a division or separation you can assume that I have nothing to do with it nor endorse it.

Wesley: Then it seems to me that you aren’t in control here?

God: I just created it. But I created it as something that I am a part of, not in control of. I control my actions. I don’t want to control your actions. Then what would you be for?

Wesley: Can you tell us what you think of the current state of things?

God: (laughing) In general?

Wesley: There seems to be a lot of uncertainty and fear in the air. Should there be?

God: No.

Wesley: Can you elaborate?

God: All the fear is manufactured. The future is always uncertain. It should be for you. Because I created this there are certain laws that apply to everything. I didn’t necessarily mean to implement these laws but because everything is designed to die and regenerate so too are the ideas that you create. Economic systems, political systems, anything that comes to fruition is destined to eat itself and collapse so that a new thing can form. It keeps things interesting and in constant motion. And this fear seems to be from a lack of knowledge of these principles.

Wesley: Adapt or die?

God: Well, you’re gonna die.

Wesley: I mean…

God: I know what you mean. I was just kidding. Yes. There will never be anything that lasts forever. Not even me. I disappear when you do.

Wesley: Because without us you serve no function.

God: Exactly. I’m just part of it.

END PART 1