Super Bowl Controversy: National Anthem Will Be Replaced with a Dodge Ad
source: http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s6i104054
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- mbalton
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“At $7 million a minute, we can’t spare the time it takes for the National Anthem to be performed,” NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell explained.
“And don’t try to accuse us of being unpatriotic here. No one’s a bigger fan of Belichick and Brady than I am. It’s just that the advertiser made us an offer we can’t refuse.”
The sponsor of the ad, the Chrysler Corporation, is now owned by the Italian automaker Fiat.
“Perhaps we will play the Italian National Anthem during our commercial,” a Fiat spokesman said. “It is much more soothing than the American anthem. No bombs bursting or rockets glaring. We play nice.”
Upon learning of the Star-Spangled ban, Congressional Crybaby John Boehner (R-Ohio) immediately assembled The House Un-American Subcommittee to enforce Americanism in this matter.
“We expect the esteemed panel’s findings to be available by Super Bowl LIII at the latest,” he declared. “But I don’t know exactly when that will be, because I don’t understand Roman numerals.”
Pundits, meanwhile, speculated that the Super Bowl snub might be the beginning of the end for the Star-Spangled Banner.
“It’s hard to sing. Nobody knows what the words mean. And it has no beat, so you can’t even dance to it,” one observer said. “How about replacing it with a classic, like Hammer’s U Can’t Touch This? That should shut the Italians up.”
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EmperorThan
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TheSpoof is still new enough to me that I say "Seriously?" when I see the articles posted on here from it. With TheOnion it's an automatic "oh, it's a joke." lol
I think most people go away from TheSpoof posted articles thinking they're real based on the comments.
- 4 months ago
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EmperorThan
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remanns
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EmperorThan:
. . . .the televised shots of troops in Afghanistan watching the game would not have worked well with that Particular omission,.....also everyone would miss the shots of those jets flying overhead at the start of the game.
( To much "National" marketing involved in that anthem time ! )
- 4 months ago
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remanns
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Lisayou
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I was going to comment but I think I will call my son and tell him thanks for putting your life on the line everyday, BTW no one else gives a shit their is money to be made!
- 4 months ago
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Lisayou
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remanns
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They need to figure out how to turn that anthem into a much shorter "jingle" ; the " American Jingle",....sort of has a ring to it.
- 4 months ago
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remanns
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remanns
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TIME IS MONEY
- 4 months ago
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remanns
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remanns
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The "American" way.
- 4 months ago
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remanns
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Joeydee44
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After watching Steven Tyler sing it last week it's probably best if we skip it.
- 4 months ago
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Joeydee44
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warman1138
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God bless the United States of Chrysler and one nation under Dodge........
- 4 months ago
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warman1138
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thedirtman
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warman1138:
...with power windows and cupholders for all.
- 4 months ago
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thedirtman
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Ricky84
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The Star-Spangled Banner? Yeah I've heard that one before. Bring on the commercials.
- 4 months ago
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Ricky84
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Novek
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"The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious."
- 4 months ago
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Novek
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ThirdSection
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Strangely, I find this appropriate.
- 4 months ago
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ThirdSection
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maasanova
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ThirdSection:
I was thinking the same thing!
- 4 months ago
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maasanova
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DEM46
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Ok, if this is true then Chrysler is to blame and should be held accountable. Chevy and Ford make trucks too.
Al rightly then, didn't see this is on Spoof headlines. Let's all back it down a bit. I'm the first to admit you GOT ME! :)
- 4 months ago
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DEM46
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The_Wanderer_Kansas
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Oh look, another example of coorporate greed leading to depatriotization... I don't care what the man says, this is unpatriotic and a slap in the face of long standing traditions.
P.S. Go PATS!
- 4 months ago
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The_Wanderer_Kansas
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ThatCrazyLibertarian [removed]
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ThatCrazyLibertarian: This comment was removed by its owner.
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ThatCrazyLibertarian [removed]
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bailey78
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ThatCrazyLibertarian:
You can see it in the eyes of those that watch faux news.
- 4 months ago
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bailey78
