Comedy | July 08, 2012 | 71 comments

Mitt Romney Keeping Several Offshore Wives in the Cayman Islands !

source: http://www.humortimes.com/6767/mitt-romney-keeping-several-offshore-wives-in-the-cayman-isla...

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kennymotown
The many Wives theory is picking up steam.......


Authorities in the Cayman Islands are remaining mum after reports have surfaced this week indicating that in addition to the large sums of money Mitt Romney has stored in bank accounts in the Cayman Islands, he also has a mansion which houses multiple wives.



According to website AskMen, some men don’t need an offshore bank account but admit it is a pretty good pick up line and is something straight out of a James Bond movie. This leads some to wonder if that’s how you get multiple women to marry you.

While keeping multiple wives doesn’t sound at all sexy to most men, it does have a certain appeal when it comes to the question “who is powerful enough to lead a nation?” Obviously, to some men, the more wives the more power.

Romney, a devout Mormon, denies the rumors and reiterates the fact that Mormons no longer practice polygamy. But, he admits he is flattered that anyone would think he could take on more than just one wife at a time. Said Romney, “Let’s just say that if it were legal, I’d have all the wives right here at home,” and then quickly changed the subject by bringing up the fact that some men are the marrying type and some are the divorcing type, referring to his bitter rival, Newt Gingrich.
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71 comments // Mitt Romney Keeping Several Offshore Wives in the Cayman Islands !

  • johnnyTremaine
    • +1
      johnnyTremaine  

    • We need eyes on the sand in Georgetown . If only this were for real, it would totally cripple the mannequin candidate. He will be put in dummie storage on the 8th floor of Macy's..
      This is incredibly funny, I really want to believe it.

      OH MY GOD EDDIE MURPHY IS DEAD, SNOW BOARDING IN SWITZERLAND ! I hope this is a lie too..

    • 10 months ago
  • Arizona_Huey
    • +3
      Arizona_Huey  

    • So - Reversible Mittens has multiple wives in Mexico and the Cayman Islands! Well, that would explain why he is so clueless on the issues! Between his fundraising dinners and taking care of his wife posse - he doesn't have time or energy to study the facts!

    • 10 months ago
  • OlBlue
  • Paratus
  • jubal
  • OlBlue
  • Paratus
  • JessMag
    • +2
      JessMag  

    • *ahem* I'm sure you all noticed this, but just for clarity's sake: this story is from HumorTimes.com, which is a satire site.

    • 10 months ago
  • kennymotown
  • Incredulous
  • attilatheblond
  • Incredulous
  • thedirtman
  • wyndesonge
  • wyndesonge
  • wyndesonge
  • Incredulous
  • gump
    • +4
      gump  

    • Priveleges of money. Money begets more than just more money.But then they drive the young boys out of thier private edens because they feel they have too many males. Imagine being one of those boys. Raised up stupid and then just cast out into the unknown world like a sack of evil trash.!!!

    • 10 months ago
  • letsliveinpeace
  • Leen61
  • Incredulous
  • Leen61
  • MSII
  • Incredulous
    • +5
      Incredulous  

    • If this is true, and I am more inclined to believe it is than to not believe it, the multiple wives have nothing to do with the amount of wealth Mittens has amassed and hidden, but rather, the multiple wives have everything to do with Mormon doctrines and covenants, and Mitt is nothing, if not serious about being a Mormon. But they aren't going to tell you what they really believe, you have to go find that on your own.....

      http://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/132.46,47,48,49?lang=eng#45

      good find kenny, this will be fun to repost and watch the fireworks.....

    • 10 months ago
  • hammywill
  • Incredulous
    • +5
      Incredulous  
    • hammywill:

      Because of what multiple wives means in the Mormon religion....it is not something a serious believer simply discards. They hide it very well, but it is one of their fundamental beliefs. The family compounds are all over Utah, they are walled, but even when you can see in, you don't see much human activity. I suspect a close examination of the welfare and food stamp rosters in Utah would reveal quite a bit as well.

      I listened to an NPR interview with the creators of Big Love, and one of the other writers on the series grew up Mormon. It is a bit of an open secret that second and third+ wives often live in trailers and shacks with their children, and subsist on welfare....one of the things Big Love touches on in the series. I liked the HBO series, it was compelling at times, and one of the motivations Olsen and Scheffer cited for creating it is that they resented the Bush definition of what constitutes a family. I agree with them there, but there are so many things under the table about the Mormon practice of polygamy, and it hasn't been that long since all of those children were removed from Mormon compounds under allegations of abuse and forced marriages....and we never really heard much about how that ended up, in spite of the fact that it was all over the mainstream media.

      On some level, I think the TV shows about polygamy attempt to normalize it, but there is so much that just never gets talked about. If you are going to have multiple wives/families, then you, not the federal government, should probably be supporting them, but don't ask Mittens about that.

      http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12421072

    • 10 months ago
  • gump
  • ankab
    • +3
      ankab  
    • Incredulous:

      It is definately a good read. Till death of Mitt and/or all wifes them part. Isn't that breaking the law. Gone are the days when Nance & Ron worried about Ron's prev marriage.

    • 10 months ago
  • attilatheblond
  • treewolf39
    • +1
      treewolf39  
    • gump:

      Like most governments as well. This was the thing that made it possible for the USA to even come to life. It might take a history of the world post to explain it to people now with our schools being govern by the same crooks. Their main tactic seems to be lies hidden in half truths.

    • 10 months ago
  • Incredulous
  • alexandrekBack
    • +4
      alexandrekBack  

    • tell me this is just a brilliant sarcastic joke, please, seriously, this ain't possible within last two years, i learn how weird and out of reality people can be but that!!

    • 10 months ago
  • Radical_Centrist
    • +1
      Radical_Centrist  

    • Well I read someplace that Obama's other three Muslim Wives who live in Kenya Visit with Romney's others wives on Brigham Young s Birthday. NEVER MIND I now remember I read that in the National Enquirer while I was in line at the Grocery Store.

    • 10 months ago
  • johnnyTremaine
  • Colin_McCabe
    • +4
      Colin_McCabe  

    • Mormons no longer practice polygamy? What was that one TLC tv show with the Mormon guy who had like 6 wives? I thought the multiple wives section in Mormonism was the only reason people joined the Mormon church. I'll cancel my move to Utah then.

    • 10 months ago
  • Frosty46
  • Incredulous
  • deane
  • MSII
  • Arizona_Huey
  • kennymotown
  • MSII
  • warman1138
  • kennymotown
  • BRAVATRAVELS
    • +12
      BRAVATRAVELS  
    • Image

    • Medicare Fraud That Made Him Rich

      In 1989, Romney led Bain Capital's purchase of Damon Corp., a medical testing company, and took a seat on the Board of Directors to better manage it. During Romney's four years, Bain tripled its investment, and Romney personally made $473,000 -- while Damon plumped its profits with Medicare fraud (running thousands of medical tests doctors didn't want, and billing Medicare for them). The company pled guilty to crimes committed during his tenure and paid a record fine of $119 million. Company President Joseph Isola pleaded no contest to fraud, and a vice president was also convicted.

      Romney claims he "uncovered" the fraudulent claims and "took corrective action," but court records show that he did not notify prosecutors or stop the fraudulent billing. He just asked company lawyers what changes they could make to avoid prosecution, after the feds' LABSCAM prosecution targeted a different medical testing firm. The cheating continued, prosecutors say, until the day Bain sold the company to Corning. Furthermore, Damon Corp. was required to list in various SEC filings any significant legal risks it faced. Romney made no mention of the fraud he "uncovered," even though it led to a $119 million fine, the largest in history. Damon Corp. is another Bain acquisition that later went bankrupt, killing over a thousand jobs -- but not before Bain made $7.4 million in profit. By amazing coincidence, Rick Santorum also made a lot of money off of a company involved in Medicare fraud: Universal Health Care

      .....................................................................................................................

      Few wives of shore ???? maybe baby!!!!

    • 11 months ago
  • kennymotown
  • BRAVATRAVELS
  • Varex_Sythe
    • +4
      Varex_Sythe  
    • BRAVATRAVELS:

      ... Well, despite not actually winning his first presidential election, and very probably not winning his second, we did accept Bush twice, so in response to the question posed in your graphic with Mitt, I'd say that we're depressingly capable of being pretty fucking stupid.

      Voted up by the way.

    • 10 months ago
  • cztheday
  • cztheday
    • +5
      cztheday  

    • hmmmm. If I were a billionaire, more wives and a dancing horse would not be high on my list of priorities...but then again, maybe such hobbies are better than those that Michael Jackson pursued...

    • 11 months ago
  • rerushg
  • kennymotown
  • attilatheblond
    • +5
      attilatheblond  
    • rerushg:

      Well, it is sure harder to prove you only have one wife than it is to show the 'long form' Hawaiian certificate of live birth. LOL. The Republicans and RW pundits will be spittin' nails on this one.

      ROFLMVO

    • 11 months ago
  • rerushg
  • MSII
  • attilatheblond
  • ThirdSection
  • kennymotown
  • Leen61
  • kennymotown
  • Leen61
  • attilatheblond
  • Leen61
  • Vic_Romano
  • kennymotown
  • Vic_Romano
  • kennymotown
  • kennymotown
  • kennymotown
    • +5
      kennymotown  

    • And it is revealed.....

      Mitt Romney Camp Hires Renowned Chuckle Coach

      Mitt Romney has some of the richest conservatives on the earth backing him for President, but they are becoming increasingly worried that he’s losing favoritism in the polls.

      However, there is one billionaire backer who is demanding Romney make some changes now in order to keep his (the backer’s) money flowing to Romney’s campaign so he (the backer) can see a payoff come election time. One of those changes is the way Romney chuckles.

      “He just sounds so darned insincere,” said the billionaire, wishing to remain anonymous. “In fact it is so pronounced, that I believe if nothing is done, Mitt may continue to lose ground in the primaries.”

      Tired of groaning every time Romney makes a joke, the billionaire has hired world renowned chuckle coach, William E. ‘Chuckles’ Butt (his real last name) to teach Mitt Romney how to chuckle sincerely at his own jokes.

      “Hopefully,” said the billionaire, “the Butt jokes will help so that the next time Mitt pokes fun at the poor or reads something meant to be funny off his teleprompter, his chuckles will come across as if he actually gets the joke himself.”

    • 11 months ago
  • kennymotown
    • +4
      kennymotown  
    • kennymotown:

      I also found out this as well....

      Flavor Flav Agrees to School Mitt Romney in Ghetto Talk
      In the South, Romney enlisted the help of Jeff Foxworthy, in New York, he needs Flavor Flav

      With the New York primary coming up in late April, GOP Presidential candidate Mitt Romney is pretty sure he has that state sewn up simply because Wall Street is in New York, and Wall Street loves Mitt Romney. However, New York also boasts a very large black population and without the black vote, the race may be tighter than he would like.

      Much like the problems he had connecting with poor white southerners in the states of Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi, Romney’s handlers claim that he needs the best possible Ebonics coach to “jive” his way to victory in New York.

      For this endeavor, there is no better tutor to take on the task than the “King of Ghetto Talk” himself, Flavor Flav. Flava says he is humbled that a man of Romney’s stature would even consider asking him to help.

      According to Mitt Romney’s closest friend, John R. Bentley III, Mitt talks a great game when he’s in front of his peers, but you put him in a situation where he has to communicate with just plain folk whose socioeconomic status doesn’t come close to his, and he’s like a duck out of water.

      Bentley can’t say enough good things about comedian Jeff Foxworthy, who came to Romney’s rescue earlier this month by teaching him some key southern phrases in order to save him from utter defeat in the South.

      “Oh sure, we lost a few southern states to Santorum and Gingrich,” said Bentley, “but we got out of there alive, and that was our main goal going into those primaries.”

      But connecting with black voters in the NY hood may be a tad more difficult. That’s why his handlers have hired one of the best Ebonics coaches around to teach Romney how to speak ghetto.

      “Yeah what? Ima make that white boy talk the bop, fo’ shizzle,” said Flavor Flav when asked to comment on his upcoming gig as Romney’s Ebonics coach.

      “I have no idea what a ‘fo shizzle’ is,” Romney replied. “But if I can master French, I don’t really see the difficulty in learning Ebonics,” he added as he made his way to a $1000 a plate luncheon at the Waldorf Astoria.

    • 11 months ago
  • kennymotown
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