Who's the Next! The Next (Chuck Norris of the) DICKIEDO...!!
Our friends at Urlesque came up with their paltry, girly-man list of people who could be the next "Chuck Norris" of the next decade. Of course, that means we need someone who is equal parts self-parody, unintentional parody and has a cultural resurgance in thanks to a TV show he once worked on for incredibly exploitative video purposes.
But really, Dolph Lundgren? I thinks not, Tyrell. I thinks not.
Jason Statham
He is the man and it is about time that we take him seriously as such. While the above monologue from London is, in our humble opinion, the best monologue he's ever given, we know him best for his insane action and even his own understanding of himself as an actor. Maybe it wouldn't be as funny if he was in on the joke from the start, but Statham's got the chops to be a decade-long meme and he'd have a good time doing it too.
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Christian Bale
While a valued thespian, his roles as Patrick Bateman, Batman and even himself remain the source of pop culture hilarity. It won't help that The Fighter is going to be a serious boxing flick, but the nature of Bale will help us around it. We'll remember the fond times of Newsies as we then mash up the audio from his Terminator Salvation rant. It's a new decade and anything is possible.
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Nicholas Cage
This isn't a matter of kicking ass, but of being able to absorb and confuse those around him with his mere presence. We all had a good laugh about this in the 'oughts thanks to The Wicker Man outtakes, but now we've got more to work with: The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Bad Lieutenant Port of Call New Orleans and let's not forget the fact that he is everyone. The next decade looks ripe for Big Daddy C.
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Woody Harrelson
Just call it a come back, but not the kind you'd expect. Harrelson spent 2009 reminding us why we loved him when he plays without a care in the world as the crazed apocalypse expert in 2012, or as the sole reason Zombieland was worth plunking money on.
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Kamen Rider Decade
I mean, it's his name. You can't get any more blunt than that. Not to mention he's drumming a giant crab in the above video.
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- 2010, Christian Bale, Jason Statham, Funny Ha Ha?, 2 more
