The Six Remakes of Spider-Man You're Damned To See

There's no easy way to say this, friend. If you were just coming around on the mysterious cinematic achievement that was Spider-Man 3 due to it being replayed at all hours on FX, I'm afraid it has been for naught. Sam Raimi and the cast have been jettisoned by Sony Pictures faster than you could say BONG.

So we're getting a franchise reboot for a franchise that's barely nine years old. To wit, Batman had to wait 16 years. Join us as we gaze upon the sinister six types of remakes that Spider-Man could find for itself.

6) Supaidāman!
When Stan Lee was willing to market out his licenses--including ones like Spider-Man, which he only had a partial credit for--he went to extremes to make a buck. So it wouldn't surprise anyone that Lee allowed Toei to purchase two Marvel properties to be remade in Japan. Their version of Spider-Man involved giant robots, alien spiders and monsters of the week. While it's almost impossible to think Sony would pony up the money for the return of Leopardon, it's a perfect idea for any "anime-inspired" omnibus films that Warner Brothers loves to vomit into the mouths of needy fanboys.

As for the second property Toei got? Captain America. That was turned into another Sentai show, but remains important for another reason: it inspired the future formation of other Sentai shows, notably how the Power Rangers would show themselves every season.

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5) "Ultimate" Spider-Man
Marvel launched its' Ultimates line in order to accomplish two things: have modern takes on characters who, by the 2000s, had grown stale and were hemorrhaging popularity in lieu of DC Comics. The Ultimate line would provide the safety of an alternate universe that could be moderized (Peter Parker is a webmaster for the Daily Bugle) while being hip and relevant (i.e. characters die, are teenagers, the Hulk likes to be naked and attacks Freddie Prinze Jr. No, Really.)

So what would this do? Well, you could easily get away with Peter Parker being played by a younger actor. Especially one who looks young and could act. You could easily introduce other characters, as in The Ultimates, and you could...do what Sam Raimi did with the first two films.

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4)From Our Facebook Group

Peter or Mary or both are teenage immortal vampires... but they never knew, just asked themselves why they didn't need to use any make up or cream for wrinkles. they awake to consciousness because of an alien invasion, wich by the way is happening because Predators went distracted watching to much crap on tv and let they new pets escape. Since Predators have become lazy, instead of chasing them themselves, they recycle old mythical robots that happen to lay dormant on ther planet by centuries for no evident reason. Then (back on Earth) comes a comet or something that smashes the moon or crushes on a mountain, and there's to much dust in the air that spider's web isn't sticky anymore and Peter goes into depression because he feels useless. Mary tries to warm him up by showing him brand new silicon breasts, witch by the way happen to appear into five or six other scenes without any logical reason. Then comes Megan Fox (played by Megan Fox) and bytes her neck with intense pleasure. mary goes into a coma. peter shaken by sorrow awakens from dark becoming much more darker, finds a way to merge with one giant spider-robot, starts to kick the bad guy in the ass (we don't know who he/it is, he just comes out of Megan's belly and grows up rapidly). While doing this, he smashes down the entire town and since the movie in in 3D a lot of schrapnels come towards you until you're totally covered in dust and dirt. victory. than kisses mary. mary awakens but her eyes are evil because Megan has possessed her.

-Cesare Molin

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3) "I'd probably just embezzle that money."
So says Josh Heller, our Online Comedy producer.

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2) CLONES OF CLONES OF CLONES OF CLONES OF CLONUS
The Clone Saga is a notorious chapter in the history of Spider-Man. It took two years to sort through and screwed an entire fanbase over when it made them question whether the Peter Parker they knew and loved was nothing more than a close. It got worse when a "new" Spider-Man appeared, took the name "The Scarlet Spider" and was nothing more than Peter Parker with blonde hair. Worse, it even has a dead baby, reveals Norman Osborn is behind the entire thing--despite being "dead"--and it changes nothing.

It is widely considered one of the worst ideas ever. Therefore, it's perfect to reboot a franchise.

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1) Sam Raimi's Spider-Man
The all-out odds favorite of what we'll be seeing in 2012. It's impossible to think about what someone will change in the origin story that Raimi crafted. You can't re-imagine Spider-Man in a Christopher Nolan Begins format; there's nothing that dark and tortured about him. Peter Parker is the eternal loser damned to repent for having a brief moment of frivolity when he realized he had an inkling of power. It got worse once he did, since the world around him escalated to keep him from treating his powers as benefits. Instead, he was locked into a thankless position that even had the devil take his unborn child from him.
Why?
Because he was happily married. And for some reason, the editors and writers of Spider-Man