Mystery of the world’s oldest sex toy

Over 30,000 years ago, in a cave somewhere in deepest Germany, somebody was getting busy with the world’s oldest sex toy.

It may have been a man, or it may have been a woman, but whatever side of the sexual divide they lay on, you can bet they were having a good time with this thing – and keeping warm too, because this ancient dildo just so happened to double up as a firelighter. By rubbing it hard against some wood, cavemen and women could have used this thing to get sparks flying when they needed some heat.

But wait, there’s more! Not only was this a sexual stimulator and a fire starter, but also a weapon, as its rounded end would have been perfect for fending off other cave people looking to get in on the action, or maybe a woolly mammoth trying to storm the cave.

The solid stone device has remarkably stayed intact over all the years and has now been found by scientists who are studying it for clues about its history... and maybe some clues about how to design better sex toys too. After all, don’t they always say that the original is the best?

If you ask us, the first ever sex toy looks strangely like a LELO model...

Anyway, in other news, and fast forwarding to the present day, it seems like you’re looking for a sexy summer this year then rubber is the way to go. Dressing up in rubber during the summer might make you hot and sweaty... but then again, won’t that just make you feel sexier? That’s what fashion experts are saying as the sunny season rolls into view. With celebrities galore flocking to use it, rubber could be this summer’s must-have material.

In her last video called “Not Myself Tonight”, sex toy-fan Christina Aguilera dressed up in rubber, and in the past singers, from Madonna to Cher, have been known to wear it to glamorous effect.

Of course, rubber isn’t just something that you wear as clothing. It’s also used to make condoms and vibrators too, from clone-a-willies to strap-ons. So could rubber be the sexiest material of them all?