What do narcissists think of when they make love?
source: http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-narcissus-in-all-us/200810/narcissists-dont-make-love
-
-
- singrrr
- added this
Take a few moments to think about what sex means to you (sexual intercourse that is).
…and…STOP.
Now go ahead and rate each of the 14 words below in terms of how important they are to your concept of sex, that is, what sex means to you. A rating of 1 means it's not important at all and a 9 means it's extremely important. Of course, you can also use any number between 1 and 9. Don't worry if some of the words seem a little strange. Just go with your gut instinct.
1. Loyalty
2. Power
3. Love
4. Domination
5. Trust
6. Ego
7. Closeness
8. Influence
9. Honesty
10. Leading
11. Respect
12. Manipulation
13. Happiness
14. Daring
Now add up your scores. You should get two scores. One will be for the odd numbered words and one will be for the even numbered words. Let's call your score for the odd numbered words Communal Sexuality and your score for the even words Agentic Sexuality.
People who score high relative to other people in communal sexuality tend to view sex as an act that is mutually rewarding (i.e., both partners receive something positive from it) and relationship-enhancing. People who score high in agentic sexuality tend to view sex as personally rewarding and self-enhancing. To some degree, sex is more about "we" to people high in communal sexuality and more about "me" to people high in agentic sexuality.
To some degree, we suspect that narcissists view their sexual partners as objects that satisfy their needs for pleasure, status, and power. As you might imagine, this kind of attitude probably doesn’t bode well for long-term relationships. In fact, one thing we suspect, but have not tested, is that more frequent sexual activity might actually harm relationships involving narcissists.
…and…STOP.
Now go ahead and rate each of the 14 words below in terms of how important they are to your concept of sex, that is, what sex means to you. A rating of 1 means it's not important at all and a 9 means it's extremely important. Of course, you can also use any number between 1 and 9. Don't worry if some of the words seem a little strange. Just go with your gut instinct.
1. Loyalty
2. Power
3. Love
4. Domination
5. Trust
6. Ego
7. Closeness
8. Influence
9. Honesty
10. Leading
11. Respect
12. Manipulation
13. Happiness
14. Daring
Now add up your scores. You should get two scores. One will be for the odd numbered words and one will be for the even numbered words. Let's call your score for the odd numbered words Communal Sexuality and your score for the even words Agentic Sexuality.
People who score high relative to other people in communal sexuality tend to view sex as an act that is mutually rewarding (i.e., both partners receive something positive from it) and relationship-enhancing. People who score high in agentic sexuality tend to view sex as personally rewarding and self-enhancing. To some degree, sex is more about "we" to people high in communal sexuality and more about "me" to people high in agentic sexuality.
To some degree, we suspect that narcissists view their sexual partners as objects that satisfy their needs for pleasure, status, and power. As you might imagine, this kind of attitude probably doesn’t bode well for long-term relationships. In fact, one thing we suspect, but have not tested, is that more frequent sexual activity might actually harm relationships involving narcissists.
-
-
MidasWelby
-
Too much math for me, but it was an intriguing exercise. Having recently come to terms with my own narcissism, I couldn't bring myself to add it up.
- 3 years ago
-
MidasWelby
-
-
dirtyemowords
-
44 & 27...
Does that give me a vaguely narcissitic communal sexuality??
Though, surely 'happiness' would be high for both, after all don't we all want to be happy?
- 3 years ago
-
dirtyemowords
-
-
nazbags
-
Interesting ... did misread "manipulation" as minimalism and had a brief moment of stylistic confusion ...
- 3 years ago
-
nazbags
-
-
emmahill
-
What a great question ...
- 3 years ago
-
emmahill
