Burning Man Simulation
Burning Man Simulation
Tear down your house. Put it in a truck. Drive 10 hours in any
direction. Put the house back together. Invite everyone you meet to
come over and
party. When everyone leaves, follow them back to their homes, drink all
their booze, and break things.
Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.
Stack all your fans in one corner of your living room. Put on your most
fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a full vacuum
cleaner bag in front of them.
Pitch your tent next to the wall of speakers in a crowded, noisy club.
Go to sleep. Wake up 2 hours later in a 110+ degree tent.
Buy a new pair of favorite shoes. Throw one shoe away.
Only use the toilet in a house that is at least 3 blocks away. Drain
all the water from the toilet. Only flush it every 4 days. Hide all the
toilet paper.
Pay an escort of your affectionate preference to not bathe for five
days, cover themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen, wear a skanky
neon wig; dance closely naked with you, then say they have a lover back
home at the end of the night.
Visit a restaurant and pay them to let you alternate lying in the
walk-in freezer and sitting in the oven.
Don't sleep for 5 days. Take a wide variety of hallucinogenic/emotion
altering drugs. Pick a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body.
Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.
Spend a whole year rummaging through thrift stores for the perfect,
most outrageous costume. Forget to pack it.
Spend weeks preparing and freezing tasty, nutritious food and then
forget it in your trunk for a few days of 110 degree heat. Eat it
anyway - and like it.
Listen to music you hate for 168 hours straight, or until you think you
are going to scream. Scream. Realize you'll love the music for the rest
of your life.
Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the
block for 5 hours.
Sprinkle dirty sand in all your food.
Mail $273 to the Reno casino of your choice. (price of average BM
ticket in 2008)
Go to a museum. Find one of Salvador Dali's more disturbing but
beautiful paintings. Climb inside it.
Spend thousands of dollars creating a deeply personal art work. Hide it
in a funhouse on the edge of the city. Blow it up.
Set up a DJ system downwind of a three alarm fire. Play a short loop of
drum'n'bass until the embers are cold.
Have a 3 a.m., soul-baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a
crocodile, and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating.
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- Burning Man
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- Burning Man
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ednixon
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The satirical
Burning Man Simulation
is right for many, and my BM '08 was only different in that;1. I didn't drive, 10 hours I flew an hour and a half in to Reno, and rented a vehicle, then drove three the wrong way to Lovelock and back to Gerlach.
I took days to clean the dust off, only to be told to
go back and spray the dust off under the hood or pay..$$$.2. I didn't break my camping gear, I gave it away.
since it was awkward to fly home with.
Same for the nice HiFi I picked up for sounds in my,um, "camp". I was taken in by circus people, after being ditched by a trucker.3. The toilet was only 2 blocks away, and it seems they were
well serviced this year and always had paper.4. Didn't loose a shoe, but I'll never get all the dust out of them.
5. I rather enjoy my un-bathed escort. I hate artificial perfumed deodorant. I became one with the dust, thanks largely to the hallucinogens
6. There was a lot of noise music. I gravitated to the chill I liked. When possible. (thud thud thud all nite)
7. I did enjoy the Absinthe liqueur and others at various camps. No hangover.
8. I did have some good 3AM conversations, but not with a drag nun.
That is just everyday life back in San Francisco after all, so what ?Most of the rest of the Burning Man Simulation is right on.
- 4 years ago
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ednixon
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cartoonraccoon
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P.S.
Kasia,
This is a great little bit of satire. And, like all great satire, there are strong overtones of truth, criticism, and appreciation in it. Keep it up. - 4 years ago
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cartoonraccoon
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potroast
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cartoonraccoon:
It's also not original. It's been floating around for a while. :-)
- 4 years ago
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potroast
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cartoonraccoon
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To Art_Lives:
Whatever Burning Man has become in recent years, it did once stand for something. If you talk to Burners who were there in the 90s, there's very little sense of mainstream wash-out. Now, however, I have a whole bunch of Burner friends who are of the opinion that it's getting worse, year by year, as more and more people come just to party and observe, not engage and create.
However, your dismissal of so-called "perceived needs" ignores much of modern psychology. Maslow's hierarchy of needs, a mainstay of clinical and therapeutic psych, stands in stark contrast to your words. There have been hundreds of documented studies or cases where individuals will forsake a lower need (like the shelter and food requirements you mention) in pursuit of a need higher up on the pyramid.
One could claim that shelter and food are "perceived" needs as well. Consider Siddhartha, who sat and lived unsheltered on a river bank eating a single grain of rice a day. To him, your apartment and 2000+ calories a day are as necessary as Burning Man.
And, by the way, from a variety of existential or phenomenological points of view, increasingly common in America's current culture of extreme overexposure and tunnel vision, that which is "perceived" is real, needs included.
As someone struggling with loneliness, isolation, alienation, and depression (I've been on paroxetine on and off for years, and depression runs strong on both sides of my family.), to claim that social needs aren't actual needs, or that they are merely constructs of our (post)modern corporate/capitalist system, is ignorant, hurtful, and offensive. (It's a good thing I made a decision a long time ago not to ever get offended. This response is more about keeping you honest than anything else.)
Your post strikes of knee-jerk liberal bullshit. Now I'm from Boston, live in NYC, and attended exceptionally liberal schools and colleges (Concord Academy and Wesleyan University, to wit); I'm about as liberal an American as you can find. However, I'm as pissed-off by people throwing around words like "martketing," "corporate," and "propagandist" as I am by neo-Con and Bush attitudes. The left is as full of shit as the right, and unless you reach a conclusion by, for, and of yourself, then you should keep it to yourself. Plenty of talking heads on both sides will say the rest for you. For someone wishing us all humility, try to doubt yourself and what you hear a little more.
I suggest you look into the history of Burning Man, and all subculture in general, before you make unsubstantiated claims like the one above. Do you see any difference between Burning Man and the grunge explosion of the early 90s? How about the ubiquity of hip-hop textures and production techniques in pop? Any subculture or aspect thereof which reaches critical mass will cross-over into the mainstream, creating an undercultural vacuum for new ideas to emerge. This is just how it goes; Kurt Cobain refused to accept this, and that is a significant part of why he blew his brains out.
Could things be better on Earth? Absolutely. Will they be? Probably not. But we'd be better off enjoying this ride than bitching at or about or fellow riders. (Although I am doing that a bit right now. Oh well, the whistle won't blow itself.) That is, if you don't like Burning Man, then don't go. It's not for everyone, just like the GOP, meat, SUVs, WalMart, and Clear Channel. But the damage done by those institutions is nothing compared to the damage done by banishing them. Monism in thought and action is the greatest threat to life, by extension, humanity, and by greater extension, current American culture.
As informed secular humanists, we ought to pay more attention to evolution. If there is a single driving ethic behind it, it's that of variation (and variation of variation of variation, ad infinitum) in all things. Encourage others to disagree with you; it's the most gracious and humble thing you can do.
- 4 years ago
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cartoonraccoon
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art_lives
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Like any product marketed and sold to the middle class, burning man attempts to fulfill a “perceived” need. The perceived need for a group experience, the need to be part of something or whatever, depending on the product. The burning man fad is marketing corporate propagandist’s tactics 101. Once an individual decides that the product, in this case “the experience of burning man” has value, BAM! Sold. The corporate propagandist’s that own and sell burning man know the demographic and psychological make-up of the people who will pay for the “burning man product” As human beings what do we really need? Shelter and some food, that is all. Everything beyond food and shelter are perceived needs.
God bless and may your life be filled with gratitude and humility.
- 4 years ago
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art_lives
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Melissa_Nelson
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art_lives:
Be the chance you wish to see at burning man. We have the power to make it what we wish, out of the 40+ thousands of people that go we all have our own unique reasons for making the treck, be open to change, it is the only constant, although the event cant continue to be the way is was forever the change can be positive. Show the people that come just to party what it's all about.
- 3 years ago
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Melissa_Nelson
