comedy blog 385 items | updated Aug 26 2010

By now I'm sure you've heard that Joe Biden said "this is a big fucking deal." The fallout from this f-bomb has celebrated by the internet's visual punsters. This is a round up of Biden talking things other than healthcare.



"this is a big fucking dill."



"this is a big fucking eel."





"this is a big fucking seal."



"this is a big fucking Biel."



"this is a big fucking wheel."

Consult your rhyming dictionaries for more puns. If you want to wear the original joke, you should put your pre-order for the Busted Tees shirt that ships next week.

On Wednesday, with all lodging options exhausted, I opted to head south of South by Southwest to Mexico way. I was headed to MtyMx, a festival produced by Brooklyn's Todd P, and Monterrey's Yo Garage.

My passage to Monterrey was pretty smooth considering the shootout between narcotraficantes and federales that blocked the highway.

I took a cab to the festival on Saturday afternoon. He had no idea where Autocinema Las Torres was. It was just passed the new WalMart, and across the street from the favelas.

I walked up to general admission to pickup my ticket. She asked me for the confirmation number, as  she tied a pink wristband around my arm. I struggled to find the information, she just said "whatever" and told me to enter.

I walked into the semi-retired drive-in, to see a sparsely populated expanse of pebbles and beer caps.

I couldn't find the "secured camping area." I saw two gringos sitting on top of their camping gear, and figured that was the closest I was going to get to security. They were friends who'd flown in from Brooklyn and Dallas respectively. They shared their sunscreen with me. We shared our discontent.





A Mexican photographer snapped our pictures. I perfected my goofiest of poses. The photographers came from Mazatlan to cover the festival. We spoke in Spanish for a while, until we discovered they spoke my language better than I spoke theirs.

It seemed like everyone at the festival on Saturday afternoon, was either in a band or a member of the press. The event was clearly a front for people to write blog posts about.

I helped some dudes move fences into a pile next to the campsite. Was this the "secure campsite" or an art installation?

Bands hadn't started yet. So I decided to maximize my pesos by buying booze at Wal-Mart.

I walked down to the highway. A friendly couple of with matching asymmetrical haircuts directed me towards the mall.



Inside the air-conditioned supercenter. I found 14 peso mezcal. That's distilled alcohol for the same price as a bottle of water. I knew they were checking bags for booze, so I developed a sophisticated plan for smuggling alcohol into the festival.

I would hide each bottle somewhere in my backpack, hidden between clothes. I rehearsed what I would say to security if they wanted to check my bags. If I was going to get caught, I'd hide the bag behind a rock, and come back for it in the evening.

When I got to the security gate, the guards didn't even ask if I had a ticket, I just walked through, with disgusting cheap alcohol.

I found my friends and we drank it.

Once we were sufficiently sloshed, we headed to the main stage to watch Das Racist perform. They asked the sound booth to "turn the mushrooms up in the speaker." The crowd was excited to see "those dudes who sing combination pizza hut and taco bell" not sing "combination pizza hut and taco bell." Their catalog of high-brow-non-jokey-joke-rap went over well.



Quiero Club got a hometown welcome from the audience. I was excited to see these Monterrey natives perform tracks that I've been following for years. I recommend their experimental indie pop record Nueva America.



After their set, cheap mezcal + sunstroke + dehydration caught up with me. I needed to go to sleep, but my tent hadn't arrived yet.

The military surplus tents were held up at the border. I heard it was because Mexican officials believed that narcoterrorists were setting up training camps disguised as the military. Later the promoter told me they were delayed because Mexican bureaucracy demands bribes.

Tents started popping up. I was telling journalists how much I wanted to fall asleep. They convinced me to jump into the sample tent. I fell asleep in the "model home" before anyone could tell me not to.



The next morning I walked around Monterrey's beautiful city center, a nice break from that grassless field.

I came back Sunday afternoon to watch experimental dream popster Banjo or Freakout.

As the sunset, a message told the crowd that "BEER WILL NOT BE SOLD AFTER SIX." I rushed to the booth, and drank my first cerveza preparada of the year. A beer combined with salsa, powdered spice, and tamarindo candy.

They called it a "chamochela." I called it "kind of nasty." I still drank the whole thing.



I finished my drink during White Ninja's set. This Monterrey band, put on the strangest set I saw during the festival. It was awesome. I haven't spend enough time in music journalism school to more articulately describe this band, so take a look for yourself.



I watched as Los Fancy Free, finished their set by handing guitars to audience members. It was an impressive feat, but somehow the music sounded exactly the same when played by amateurs. I wasn't sure if this diminished from the band, or made them cooler.

I saw a cute Mexican girl chase down Dan Deacon. If Dan Deacon is a sex symbol, there is hope for all of us. He is able to turn broken-experimental-preset-synths into an incredible party. The crowd went nuts, and I understood why that girl was so excited to see him.

Andrew WK, performed the last set of the night. I don't know which is my favorite Andrew WK song "Party, Party, Party, Party" or "Party, Party, Party, Party." Either way I had partied too much, over the past ten days and I was very excited to head home.

Though the festival was pretty disorganized, the campsite's were not secure, and the bands didn't all show up, I have to say that the concert was totally worth it. I'll see you next year in Monterrey.

Carlos Slim was just declared the richest man in the world by Forbes magazine. He has ousted Bill Gates from the top spot, with an estimated wealth at $53.5 billion. Slim

Slim's spokesman refused to confirm the Forbes estimate to the BBC but said:

"We're pleased that he has been considered the best businessman of the world."

Slim made his billions in telecommunications. He also owns restaurants, cement, and financial institutions. In 2008 Carlos Slim bought 6.4% of The New York Times Company. His companies Telmex, Telcel, and América Móvil have expanded throughout the Americas.

Last year, I visited Colombia. I was surprised to see cable service provided by Telmex. I met a cable guy who worked for the company. He told me his theory of Carlos Slim's plans for world domination.

"Slim is going to purchase every telecommunications firm in Latin America. With this huge subscriber-base he'll be able to compete in the United States"

I know that's fouth-hand information, but you should either protest, or buy thousands of stocks.

I like Carlos Slim for two reasons.

1. He made Mexico City's Centro Histórico cool.


2. He owns Sanborn's.

Centro Histórico was in decline for decades. In 2000 Slim created the a foundation to revitalize the area. Today,  you don't have to worry about getting mugged. The neighborhood has cool bars, cafes, and art openings.

Carlos Slim owns Sanborn's, a chain of restaurants. I really like their soup.

That's what I know about Carlos Slim.

Today, the March 4th Day of Action is occurring across the country. In California students are protesting the state's decline in funding for public education at dozens of Cal State and University of California schools.



I've been following the action at my alma mater, UC Davis. The California Aggie newspaper has been live tweeting the events from the day. Hundreds of protesters were met with tear gas, bean bags and tasers.

Two hours ago they reported: "Cops are beating people in the front. Arrests being made. Holy shit. Looks like tasers being used."





Were there protests at your school? What happened? Tell us your story.

I noticed that the item "Semen Therapy - swallowing semen is good for your health" has been trending on Current.com.

The link cites an alleged study at North Carolina State University that shows "a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer." The source gives no context to the text. At the center is a link to pornographic site "Adult Doorway." A site not known for it's journalistic credibility.

Another link directs users to a site that resembles a 2003 CNN.com article. That article however is not hosted by CNN. The page cites bogus data. The names in the CNN article have subtle sexual connotations. Kramer could be pronounced "Cram Her." Shafteer could be read "Shaft Her." But most indicting of all Lictepeen, sounds exactly like "Licked a Peen."

This story has been cycling around the internet for nearly a decade. It's an attempt by pranksters to encourage women to perform fellatio. By disseminating this disinformation, they feel they can increase their chances of insemination.

Providing totally inaccurate information is not a good way to manage your life. If you really need a blowjob, you don't need to trick anybody, just ask them nicely.

I'll admit it, I'm a pretty big 'fraidy cat. I won't see horror films in the theater. My stomach is in a knot over the impending fire drill. And I'm scared of meeting weirdos Chat Roulette.

Chat Roulette randomly pairs two people with webcams to chat. There are lots of old dudes masturbating, creeps in costume, and mean junior high students. I'm still too scared to try it, luckily Buzz Feed has compiled some of the best screengrabs, from the latest internet fascination.











Have you tried it? Do you have any funny screenshots? Add them below.

The Associated Press reports that a Chilean engraver has been fired from the national mint. Pedro Urzua was responsible for over 1.5 million coins that were spelled "CHIIE" instead of "CHILE."

Oops.

Hey friends of the internet, we have some good news! Some of Current's best comedy have been put on the Webby's shortlist!

SuperNews' Twouble with Twitters is on the list.



Three infoMania segments have also made it to the shortlist.

Viral Video Film School





Tech Report



That's Gay



Congratulations everybody!

Resident music expert Sergio Cilli looks at the best selling rock songs on iTunes. If you read music blogs like Stereogum, there are at least three bands on this lineup you've never heard of.

Have a listen to these hits...

• Dave Matthews - You & Me


• Daughtry - Life After You


• The Who - Baba O'Reilly


• One Republic - All The Right Moves


• The Script - Breakeven

Now ask yourself: How can so many bands sound exactly the same?

Check out Sergio's White Hot Top Five on infoMania, Thursdays at 10 PM on Current TV.

These are some cool links for a Wednesday!

Jake and Amir: Video Chat (College Humor)

• - Travel the Trans-Siberian railway from your couch (Gizmodo)


• - Jogger detained for flipping off South African prez (boingboing)


• - 5 easy steps to help your pet go viral (Urlesque)


• - The worst speeches of all time: Nerd's obsession with Megan Fox (Atom)


• - Tracy Morgan is a land shark (Comedy.com)


• - Adult star Belladonna turns the camera on the Real Fanboys of Porn (Asylum)

Hello SuperNews! fans -- we’ve got a very special Hipsters in Space double feature sponsored by Samsung Mobile.

First up, the team realizes that space is “totes-bors-mc-snores.” The gang uses their Corbys to summon the Judgement-o-Tron to determine which galaxies are lame.

Next, the gang goes on a space walk only to find out that Dr. Blog has lost her phone. NOOOO!!!! Can a hipster survive without being constantly connected? Will Dr. Blog make it out of the black hole of communication?

Watch SuperNews! on Current TV.

SuperNews! got a written up by Steve Fritz in suite101.com!

"Creator Josh Faure-Brac talks up his rapidly growing show Supernews! It launched on Current TV back in 2005 and this news parody show is now taking over the web..."

Awesome. Are you up-to-date with your SuperNews!? Why not check out Season 2: Platinum Edition.

SuperNews! appears on Current TV. Check local listings, to watch it on television.

Who's ready for some epic hockey FAILs? infoMania salutes our Olympic unhopefuls…with. The best hockey players in the world are in Vancouver right now, here are the contenders for the injured reserve from YouTube.

infoMania releases a new unhopeful daily during the Olympics. Check them out at Current.com/unhopefuls.

The full 30 minute show airs every Thursday night at 10PM on Current TV.

SuperNews! celebrates all of the awesome cartoons you may have missed from this season with SuperNews! Season 2: Platinum Edition

Expect to see some of these bad boys:

• Emoticons Have Cybersex


• The Memes of Memetasia


• Outta Control Pubes


• The Obamas: After Dark


• Master Debaters: Pot vs Meth


• Vampires: Hollywood Bloodsuckers

Watch SuperNews! on Current TV!

Last night was another hilarious new episode of infoMania. Here's a recap of what went down.

Nude model Cindy Margolis has a new reality show, and Conor Knighton takes a look in his weekly roundup of the world of media. Also includes the Blizzard of 2010, Saints win the Super Bowl, Little Miss Perfect, Celebrity Fit Club, Bad Girls Club, and Sarah Palin's handy notes.

Ben Hoffman went digging on Craigslist for something special to do this Valentine's Day. Check out the results.

There's a lot of opposition to the military's call for repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell. And all the naysayers are scared of the same thing - gay penis. Bryan Safi investigates in this week's 'That's Gay.'

Sergio Cilli checks out the sad state of rock and roll (with the exception of The Who) in this week's 'White Hot Top 5.' Includes jams by Dave Matthews Band, Daughtry, The Who, OneRepublic, and The Script.

Check it out on Conor Knighton's roundup of magazines, 'We've Got You Covered.' Also includes Anne Hathaway, Mel Gibson, sex moves, and wooden boats. The Sportman Channel is more than just hunting shows. The network is devoted to protecting you from nature's deadliest threat - people.

Watch infoMania every week as part of the Thursday Night Block Party on Current TV.

The Winter Olympics are fast approaching. infoMania is here to salute the amateur athletes who didn't make it by a mile --or for Canadians, the kilometer. To honor the opening of the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympic Games, infoMania brings you the best snow explosions from all of YouTube.

This Japanese promo for Fox's Glee, features some intense sumo action.



It totally reminds us of that time Embedded hung out with Mos Def at a sumo match in Osaka.

Hey Wednesday evening the week is nearly over!!!!! These are some Current Virals to help you get through the next two days.

AccuWeather.com Snowpocalypse Now! Meteorologist Freakout



Man Breaks Copy Machine With His Butt





Two Girls



Back to the Future Sex Scenes



Valentine's Day Surprise!



Suggest more Current Virals at Current.com/virals

Hipsters in Space are back with another Samsung Mobile sponsored SuperNews! cartoon.

Captain Art School debuts his independent film on the Samsung Corby. It’s an art film about the new dance craze that all the kids are talking about, The Jerk. Have you learned the steps? Check out the New Boyz Jerk dance.

Will this turn Captain Art School into a hot-shot director? Will the crew become web-celebs? Find it out on this installment of Hipsters in Space.