Call to Caption: Rick Perry

Our secret handshake to enter the NH Ranch.

The Governor decides to rebound from the last debate by proudly displaying the state flag.

I am Not Left or Right handed, I am Ambidextrious.... =)

ummmm. err ah yup!
You put your right hand out,
You put your right hand in,
And you shake it all about,

You do the hokey pokey perry
and you turn yourself around
That what it's all about.

This is how we milk the bulls in Texas.

.......and I just Kept Punching Him in the Face....

"...it's Creek without a paddle."

If my mouth doesn't kill my chances, I can use one of these here things on the end of my arms.

Sting like a butterfly . . . um, won't get fooled again.

It was so much cooler long ago in Texas when you had holsters for your guns. Holdin' 'em like this makes ya look like a sissy. Wanna see my ass kickin' boots?

So I just grabbed one of them EPA petitions and rumpled it all up like this jus' to prove what I'd do as president.

In Texas, we teach 'em to grab it like this and twist hard. Works as good fer chickens as it does for Coors longnecks!

SHAKE WEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here we go Hitchhikin` in the shower!OOPS!

One Potato,Two Potato,Four Potato,oops that ain`t it! Five? No? OOPS!

And this is exactly how our kids should be taught sex ed.

Is it EPA or the Energy department? Let's decide...Rock, Paper, Scissors

Milking cows since 1950. LIKE A BOSS

Me talk pretty one day

Come on Ron i told you what i would if you made me look like a fool on national tv again. .... stop crony capitalism ........ Occupy Jackson Ms,

There are three things that make you go blind .......

3?,3?-Damn it--Ron Should have forget about 2 of the 5! Wait, what do you mean 5? Thank God we don't have 6; I'd have to use both hands to count. Smart,old,geezer. Did you see that smirk right after I asked for help? He knew I was stuck; if he gets elected President--NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

see let me show you I can play Patty Cake. Wait what do you mean I am playing One Potato, Two Potato. I am the governor of Texas I know the difference between Patty Cake and One Potato, Two Potato

to prove you are a united states citizen, you will be required to learn this secret hand shake

I have one fist right here, and my second fist right here, when i put them together i got three....right? No....oops. Glad I've got on my boots again.

So, there I was, on that run-away choo-choo train, pulling on that brake handle. I have to stop this train, I thought. I have to save the train, my career, and all those...those things on board.

.... and this is his brain without drugs. Got the picture.

Careful, I've taken boxing lessons........I fight like a girl.......This is how you hold a canoe paddle in Texas.....Get over here Michelle, I'll kick your ass........Do you think my right fist is bigger then my left fist?......

rocks, paper... oh wait............. i wasn't ready.......i hate budget decisions.

Texas fist bump!

The Sword Won't Come Out Of The Stone Dammit!!!! I Was Told I Had This In The Bag!!!

I was choking the chicken just like this.

"...one potato--two potato....uh--one potato...two potato--two potato--sh@%t!! ----what comes after two potato--I can't do it--sorry..."

"Two-fisted masturbation is how we do it in Texas. No lube either. Watch!"

He's not the Incredible Hulk, I am! Err..Guhhhh. I swear I did it once.

I'd make a good president because I already know the presidential secret handshake. Gets the president into all the cool clubs and meetings. (Thanks, Dubya.)

There are two Koch brothers I have to satisfy at the same time. I do it like this.

So I took the Koch brothers Dicks, one in each hand, and you should see the campaign contribution I got.

Next in line for Mayweather! Got the brain damage to prove it!

Herman said to do it like this!

Well I can mash potato
Well I can do the twist
Oh tell me baby

Do you like it like this
Tell me

Do you love me

This is how I choke the chicken!!!!

Rick Perry loses the rock,paper, scissors debate, as he forgets that rock can't beat rock.

"You can pry this campaign from my cold dead hands!"

He inserts the fist into the anus, and then he eat da poo poo.

I GET SOOOO FRUSTERED TRYING TO SPALK!

so i had to use both hands on the guy, it was like a flippin baseball bat, so big.. after that i blacked out and woke up the next morning with the worst hangover of my life!!! haha, good times.

Did y'all see that movie Grease? Remember the hand jive? Kinda went like this...

"This is how Obama and the rest of the blacks dance."

"In Texas, our electric chair switch is THIS big!"

memory loss, making fists, going fetal.... classic signs of brain damage.

"I know this one... Uh... Um... Crap. LINE!"

I can't remember the 3rd department, but I sure remember how to milk that campaign money.

1 potato, 2 potato, 3.... ummm...

1 potato, 2 potato, 3... ummm... oops

One potato, two potato uhh? OOPS!

I want a shake wieght 4 x-mas!

That corn dog was so big it took two hands to get control of it.

If you take the top of the uuummmm?!??

..then we make sure the noose is taught, like this, see? Then I stick my head into the noose and jump off this here platform. The result is a metaphor for what I have done to my campaign.

im going to get rid of the Department of... uhhhh... uhmmmm... I'VE PUT OVER 500 PEOPLE TO DEATH!!! (loud applause)

well you see this is how we stop them there frivolous lawsuits and then give them money to them there job creators to fix the econonononomy... and I'm gonna crush the Department of Commerce, the Department of Education, and the uh... uh... them there Wall Street occupiers!