A cinematic affair: Casting the Petraeus-Broadwell scandal as a Hollywood blockbuster
By Jo Piazza / current.com / @jopiazza
It's only a matter of time before Hollywood options (if it hasn't already) all the juicy details of the David Petraeus–Paula Broadwell sex scandal to turn it into a delightful cinematic romp.
We just want to help tinseltown get it right.
We're jump-starting this process by precasting this flick in the hopes of getting an executive producer credit ... or maybe just free tickets to the premiere.
Dennis Quaid as Gen. David Petraeus
Quaid has that rugged, yet handsome look that will make the mom audience swoon.
"Quaid, too, likes the ladies," GossipDavid's David Caplan reminds us. "He is better looking than the real guy, but that hasn't stopped Hollywood before." (An honorable mention goes to "The Office" star Ed Helms, who will most certainly be playing the good general in flashbacks to a happier time with Holly.)
Want more on the Petraeus scandal?
Watch "The War Room" weeknights at 10P/7E for a look at
how a crisis specialist would handle this debacle.
Angelina Jolie as Paula Broadwell
Sofia Vergara as Jill Kelley
The Latina vixen will definitely provide some much-needed flavor for this flick, as well as appeal to an international audience.
Bob Saget as Eric Cantor
The House majority leader became aware of the affair last month, weeks before it became public knowledge. Saget was born to play Cantor. We're just happy to have an excuse to use him.
Sally Field as Holly Petraeus
She's been Mary Todd Lincoln, now Current host Joy Behar tells us she thinks Field should play the scorned wife of a general.
Jack Nicholson as Gen. John Allen
Because you want him in this movie. You need him in this movie.
Ryan Phillipe as Scott Broadwell
The pair of cuckolded Scotts is definitely the most difficult to cast. (We couldn't even find pictures of them we could use!) There's something about their dark little eyes that reveals a resemblance between Phillippe and Mr. Broadwell. "Plus, Ryan adds some sexiness to the movie," Caplan says.
Kevin James as Scott Kelley
Don't you want to give both these guys a hug? "Scott Kelley is the everyman. He wears 'dad' jeans. Kevin James is the ultimate poor-schlub husband who's dominated by his wife," Caplan says.
(Photos: Getty Images, ABC News)
- Humor & Culture Blog