12 things to do now that the world hasn't ended
By Stephanie Whiteside / current.com / @stephgwhiteside
If you're reading this, the world hasn't ended (yet). That's probably a good thing, but if you've been looking forward to the apocalypse predicted by the ancient Mayans, you're probably at a loss as to what to do now that you know you'll be seeing the sun come up tomorrow.
Don't worry, we've got you covered.
1. Don't panic. Grab your towel and don't panic — the world is going to continue on as usual. If you were looking forward to running around like John Cusack in "2012" or you've given up all your worldly possessions in preparation, this might be a bit unnerving. But keep calm and play it cool; if anyone asks where your stuff went, tell them you're embracing minimalism.
2. Start repurposing those emergency supplies. Everyone should have an emergency kit (even with no apocalypse, there are still earthquakes, blizzards and hurricanes), but if you've stocked a bunker with canned goods to wait out the end of the world, you may be overdoing it a bit. Hopefully you bought things you actually like because you'll be enjoying MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) and chicken in a can for some time. And these recipes for Spam might help you out. Alternatively, you can share the wealth by donating those canned goods to a homeless shelter.
3. Repurpose your bunker. If you've spent time building a bunker to withstand anything, congratulations, you've put a lot of work into it. Of course, that doesn't mean much when you've got an underground building with no discernible purpose. Maybe consider turning it into a bar? Could make for some extra income in these tough economic times.
4. Stop learning French. Bugarach, France, has been plagued by tourists convinced it will survive the end of the world. Put down the French-English dictionary, stop practicing your taunts (and, seriously, stop telling your cube mates their mother smelled of elderberries) and let the nice people of Bugarach go back to farming.
5. Convert your savings back into actual money. The economy may not be the best, but it's still here, so it's time to consider converting those gold bars back into cash money. Maybe even put it in a bank! Bonus: Paper money is a lot lighter for carrying around. Shiny.
6. Check the return policy on that survivalist seed pack. Gardening is awesome, but are you really going to grow all of your own food if you don't have to? Glenn Beck may have hawked the seed assortment, but we can't picture him spending much time in the garden. If you can't return the seeds, try donating them to a local organic gardener, since they're non-GMO.
7. Apologize to your family and friends. You didn't listen when they told you there was no evidence the world was going to end. Now might be a good time to reacquaint yourself with the loved ones you've ignored in your doomsday prepping. Depending on how obsessed you've been, you might also consider flowers, or maybe some of those gold bars you've been stockpiling.
8. Get some vitamin D. Step away from the computer, stop analyzing signs that the world is about to end and go get some sun. Remember sun? It's pretty awesome. While you're out there, appreciate how great it will be to see it for days to come. (And stop worrying about solar flares.)
9. Stop with the New World Order. There's no secret cabal of conspirators controlling the destiny of the world, no secret research at Area 51 or Black Mesa. The head of the CIA can't even keep his own affair secret, do you really think it's possible for a massive, worldwide conspiracy to be orchestrated without being uncovered? No. It's not. So, please, just let it go already.
10. Sleep off the hangover. If you decided to go out partying instead of preparing to survive, it probably seemed like a time to go all out. Of course, that was before you realized you'd still be here for the hangover. Take some aspirin, drink some water and lock yourself in a dark room until tomorrow. We promise, the world hasn't ended — it just feels that way.
11. We're in danger? Must be Tuesday. The Mayan apocalypse may be a bust, but there's sure to be another doomsday prediction around the corner. People have been predicting the end of the world for a very long time, and it's unlikely they'll stop now. In fact, there are already predictions for apocalypses in 2018, 2020 and 2129, among others. So you may just get to see the end of the world yet. (Note: We had to look up the plural of apocalypse, because, if you really think about it, there shouldn't be one)
12. Stock up on Twinkies. After the apocalypse, there won't be any of America's favorite snack cake. Wait, what? Hostess is already going out of business? Crap, maybe it is the apocalypse after all ...
(Photo: Getty Images)